Oh no,MIL is due to descend on us tommorow and.....

[Mirage]

MIL is coming to stay for a few days tomorrow.She is lovely,but very houseproud & pernickety.She picks 'crumbs' up off the carpet & continually adjust her rugs so that they lie at exactly the right angle.

She has never been to our new house,this is only the 3rd time she's visited in 10 years & I dread to think what she'll make of it.It hasn't been decorated since the 70's,the kitchen & bathroom are literally falling off the walls & the living room boasts half stripped woodchip & a hole wehere the fireplace was.

She continually goes on about sil's brand new 4 bed 4 bath detached as though it was the 8th wonder of the world.I'm sure she'll pass out when she sees our place.

Plus,I am trying to make the place look its best,aided & abetted by 2 under 3's.I removed all the sofa covers,only to walk back into the room to find that dd2 had removed her nappy & smeared the contents on the floor,the cushions,herself & everywhere within reach.I'm going to have a nervous breakdown by lunchtime at this rate.

Any tips to make our house look slightly more presentable (& cleaner).
Oh,nearly forgot,we don't have a single cupboard or shelf in the entire house,so can't stuff things out of sight.

is her name Hyacinth?

No hlep I am afraid - just kep your chin up andtell her to "go away" silently in your head a lot?

at dd nappy - mine do that and then bump down the stairs to tell me

LEave it as it is. Hopefully then she won't be back.

Do some nice kind considerate things that SIL wouldn't think of and make sure MIL knows where you keep the cleaning stuff.

Oh tips, sorry - get a load of oust stuff and open all windows - fresh smelling always makes things appear cleaner IYSWIM

bathrooms - clean quickly, but buff afterwards, this makes them all sparkly detracting from teh surrounding areas and takes a few seconds.

err - that's it I think, I am not a house godess sadly!

mirage, if she's such a fussy cleaner, she'll find something to criticise however much you clean. Just do your standard good clean-up.

Maybe concentrate on being the good mother. Get your kiddies spruced up and have them make a picture/card for her. Make (or buy) a really nice cake, get some nice soap for her, flowers for her room, little touches like that which show you're making an effort.

Maybe SIL's house is the showcase, but yours can be the friendly relaxed one.

I would get a makeup pad and some disinfectant and clean the phone though, bet she'd notice that!

Your house sounds like ours, we're making very slow progress with it, in the last 5 years we've had new bathroom, new kitchen, new central heating, new roof, loft conversion, back garden landscaped and numerous sundries.

Still to do: remove the woodchip, replace shockingly scanky carpets, paint outside of house, lansdcape front garden, re-roof and rewire garage, build shower room upstairs.

Matters are not helped by bil who has (in mil's words) has 'a kitchen a solicitor would be proud of' (eh?) but has put himself heavily in debt to do it.

I've grown a very thick skin, comfort myself with the fact that we've done all of this without going into debt at all and have invested sensibly in bricks and mortar. I also endlessly repeat my mantra 'I am not defined by my possessions' and talk enthusiastically about future renovation plans.

All I can offer in the way of cleaning tips is make sure the lightswtiches, door handles, cooker and sink are clean.

Good luck!

I would take a different approach. MIL arrives - oops just remembered an important appointment - leave MIL in house with strategically placed cleaning materials - return 3 hours later to lovely clean house.