havin a asian botfriend

[nikki19]

i have a asian boyf and we have a child together and god dam things are so hard espeshilt now its coming to christmas does anyone else feel the same

yes i have friend well a few close ones i only left school 3 years ago so as you can imagine we all drifted apart and they are all of doin there own thing im the only one with a child. but i think im going to have a big christmas dinner and lots of wine !!! thanks for all your help you are all very kind

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Nikki19 - What an awful thing for you and your family. My dd doesn't see our relatives - but only because they live so far away (America and Scotland) But they do include her at Xmas and Birthdays. It is a shame - but I don't think it will effect them as they grow. I hope you and your fanily have a great Xmas - it is a good idea about "Adopt and Oap" a friend of mine did it for years and the adopted oap ended up taking on a grandparent role.

You could get a suprise present sent to dd if you have a look at the thread about suprise xmas gift swap.

Nikki19, you sound so upset. Has either of the sets of grandparents seen your daughter? You know what I would be tempted to do, I would send a card and a photo of your beautiful, innocent girl to them this xmas and send them your love and hers. Tell them about her! If they can then be so cold towards her then push them to the back of your head - she is better off without biggots. I know it's hard at this time of year but just concentrate of those who love you and your boyfriend and child. They may not like your relationship but how can they NOT love your daughter. Lots of hugs to you xxx

Queenie - Good Idea.

i am upset all i ever seem to be is upset. i might try that sending them a photo i must admit i have been tempted to take her round there but they would just slam the door im my face my boyf showed his mom a ohoto of our daughted once and she threw it at him sad but true yes she has seen my mom and dad but thet soon lost interest

I'm not surprised you are upset. I am really having difficulty believing this even though I don't think I'm particularly naive. You're not alone, I know (an Asian friend of mine took her two mixed-race girls - beautiful, lovely girls ANY grandparent should be so proud of - to her father's 70th birthday. She introduced them and he just turned away); times are changing but they are changing slowly for some people.

And having your friends drift away to do different things makes things harder too, I'm sure (I think I'm more than twice your age, ooops!).

What your daughter does have is two parents who have shown that there are stronger things in this world than bigotry. In that, she is very lucky. I truly believe that. Please keep posting, and in the meantime invite people you like round for Christmas Day.

thank you very much for your messages they cheer me up motherinferior. i will im going to make christmas dinner even if it is just for 3 and make the best of it and then im gonna go shippong in the sales and cheer myself up

Nikki, where abouts in Luton are you? What school were you at? You must be roughly the same age as me.

I am in Luton too.

I know what it is like to live around here an i know the way some people frown apon relationships white females have with asian males - is this the case with your family?

springchicken- i live in dunstable and i went to northfields where do you live