In accordance with our on going efficiency drive, management has determined that there is no longer any need for network or software applications support.
Our goal is to remove all computers from desktops by December 31, 2003.
After this time, all members of staff who can demonstrate a business need will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch Pad.
Our Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support Team has advised that this will eliminate:
a) Operating System and Server problems
b) virus infections and
c) time-wasting through reading and writing e-mails, and surfing the Internet.
Given the introduction of this new technology, our Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support team has set out below a number of Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A. Pick it up and shake it
Q. How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A. Pick it up and shake it.
Q. What's the shortcut for Undo?
A. Pick it up and shake it.
Q. How do I create a New Document window?
A. Pick it up and shake it.
Q. How do I set the background and foreground to the same colour?
A. Pick it up and shake it.
Q. What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A. Pick it up and shake it.
Q. How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A. Pick it up and shake it.
Q. How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A. Don't shake it.