Tantrums at nearly 34...Bad Mum confession

[marthamoo]

Looking at Angiel's thread it's obvious tantrumming children are pretty normal...

I've just chucked the Duplo DS1 and DS2 were bickering over, across the room. Reduced them both to floods of tears and now feel like ten kinds of s**t.

Bad day.....

It's an age thing, I'm nearly 34 and I've done this too.... boohoo. Happens to us all and children have to see that we're only human sometimes (I am obviously perfect the rest of the time)

I don't believe there is anyone of us that doesn't do this sometimes. The difference is we have to be pushed a long way whereas they do it if you try to put the wrong colour socks on them or give them the wrong kind of biscuit.

You are not alone, I throw wobblies every now and again - dh thinks I am a little psycho as they are often over the smallest thing but he has not seen the build up. I am sure they do us good so don't feel bad.

Dont worry mine reduced me to floods of tears today and i know which way i prefer it

I used to have conniption fits at the kids when they were smaller - some kids more than others - you know, the kind where you scream so hard your throat hurts?

My worst tantrum ever was at DH though - he was just being totally intolerant, unsympathetic, nagging and awful (a lot like me at the kids sometimes now I come to think of it ) and I slammed my dinner on to the floor - smashed plate, pasta everywhere and holes in the laminate. Oh the shame.

(I am quite nice most of the time...)

CP, are you married to my husband??? He puts it down to 'cultural differences' between us!!!!!

Never mind, marthamoo, the next time they start to bicker over something you can say sweetly "now then, boys, do you remember what Mummy did the last time you argued like that...?"

Awwww, thanks everyone, nice to know I'm not alone. They are in bed now and we are about to have a takeaway and a bottle of wine..

I'm still trying to get over the guilt of when, about 3 months ago, when DS1 repeatedly kept hitting his baby brother with his plastic Harry Potter magic wand, I snatched it out of his hand, snapped it into 4 pieces, and ceremoniously dumped it into the kitchen bin shouting, "OK, maybe now you'll stop it?"

bad, bad, mother....

I'm 34, can I use that as an excuse. I am getting more & more like dd at her worst, even find myself saying the things she does & throwing stuff, which I would never have done before.
It has been worse as all together on "holiday" for last 2 weeks, both dd & dh driving me Nuts, I feel so guilty but can't seem to help myself.
I'm basically horrid. Oh well.

mo2, why is that bad?

I threw the tv remote control once when dd was crying in her cot and ds was refusing to go to bed. It hit a wooden pillar in the middle of the living room and smashed into several pieces! Ds just stood there and said "Mummy, you've broken that"

Luckily I managed to mend it before dh came home!

What a good example I am

Mo2 - that sounds like a perfectly reasonable response to me.

Or maybe I am just a bad mother too.

I'm guilty of some terrible tantrums as well. One of my worst was when I threw a knife into the sink and it went straight through the washing up bowl and left a massive hole in it.

Yep, been there, done that - and I'm nearly 34, too. Thrown things (and broken them), screamed, shouted. And usually feel worse after. But at least we're not alone!
I remember when I was a child, hearing about my aunty jumping up and down on a selection bag of crisps because my cousins were arguing over who should have what flavour. I never understood why on earth she felt the need to do it until I had kids of my own.

oh i am so glad i read this thread!!! Every now and again,(but rarely) i feel like this and once i chucked my dd's doll out of the room and hit her head (THE DOLLS> THE DOLLS) off the wall and i cried about it afterwards thinking what example am i setting???????????????

(i'm 29)

PHEW........I am normal after all. Thanks ladies these posts have made me feel like I'm not sooooo bad, although maybe worst on here as I've done most of them at one time or another. I have to admit that I rarely feel that guilty though as these reactions from me only happen after ALOT of crap from everyone that has wound me up.

Hoo-Hum.

Nearly 43, very moody and occasionally have major tantrums, which have me in tears and the kids walking round me patting my shoulder as they pass, muttering "Ok Mum, calm down..". You'd have to be a saint not to snap occasionally and if you don't, then your children must be angels or you have two nannies, one au pair and lots of money. I think it's good for children to understand that parents aren't perfect and that Mummy/Daddy have feelings too. Example-yesterday was the anniversary of my mum's death and I hung it together all day, even when dropping off littlest one at school, and yet when they started fighting I yelled at them to stop.As usual, everyone ignored me and it really hit me then. I sat on the stairs, sobbing and DS1 (13) asked me what was up. I told him and he organised all the others, whatever he said worked and each one of them quietly came up to me and gave me a little hug and a kiss. (It's making me all choked up thinking about it.)Whatever the kids are doing, take a depp breath and walk away. It really confuses them sometimes when you don't yell! LOL

Oh Jollymum, bless their little hearts. It must have been a difficult day for you.

Even worse today - today I chucked DS2 across the room

OK, I exaggerate, I chucked him onto the settee but bad enough. He had screamed blue murder for half an hour because he threw Buzz Lightyear on the floor (see, he's picking it up from me) and broke his leg. DS1 was going on and on "oh why won't he be quiet, he's making my ears hurt.." and I just lost it.

Flamin' dh had disappeared upstairs while all this was going on - I was also trying to make dinner, got it on the table but DS2 was screaming too much to eat and when I shouted dh to come for his he ignored me. So I threw it in the bin.

When he did come down he was all chuffed cos he had managed to fix Buzz Lightyear's leg..was quite taken aback to find me sobbing uncontrollably, DS2 still yelling, DS1 patting my shoulder and saying "it's OK Mummy" and his dinner in the bin.

He thought he was doing the right thing fixing the initial cause of the tantrum, when really what I needed was some hands on support.

He ended up having tinned spaghetti on toast for tea. And the best bit..it was our Wedding Anniversary today.

Do I get the Worst Mum of the Week Award?

Jollymum..cyber hugs to you.

My sister shuts herself in theloo if her kids drives her nuts.

It drives them nuts - not being able to get at her.

I sort of tried that - have my copy of "The Little Book of Calm" in the loo (you know, open at random, read the words of wisdom therein and intantly feel calmer).

Only I kept opening it at things like "sailing on the ocean makes you feel calm" and "wear Donald Duck underpants". Er...yeah.

May keep a bottle of gin in there instead.

Marthamoo-do you, like me, start each day with the words"Today is going to be different"? Well today is! My dh had his friend round to play last night and both of them were fairly plastered. I wasn't but owing to going to bed at 2.30 in the morning and only having 4 hours sleep (because Dh had curry last night and the awful smell in our bed woke me up) I AM TIRED! So far, evrything's OK, reasonably quiet but give it time....Really hope your day is better today-I always feel better at weekends 'cos I know I can go out if everything gets too much and leave dh with the kids. Mid you, my "baby" has just started school and I do really miss him (never thought I'd say that). I'm working from home, so I am busy but it just seems so quiet! LOL

Our day has already involved massive row - in front of both kids - by DP and me, culminating in him shouting I FEEL LIKE A SERVANT and me managing not to retort IF YOU WERE I'D HAVE SACKED YOU...but then telling him later which rather took my brownie points away, in double doses.

Stash the gin in the loo, marthamoo. May do same myself.