No im not a nun but im starting to feel like one!!!
Ive just been reading some posts from people who have experienced vaginal problems after birth and Im in awe and amazement at how people ever find the strength to, ahem, get back on the horse so to speak! Especially after some of the terrible experiences some of them have had.
I was lucky enough to have a pretty normal delivery no forceps or major tearing (thankfully) but i cant seem to come to terms with what I call the deflated soufflé effect that resulted! I get feelings of pressure, discomfort and theres no tightness left around the vaginal opening so basically what should be inside and hidden is not, yea nice.
It took me months to have sex with my partner after the birth and the experience was awful, I barely felt anything and he looked well...less than enthusiastic. So a few more attempts and one failed relationship (for various other reasons including he went looking elsewhere for it) and i was through with sex. I no longer own a vagina its just a thing thats there and has no use anymore for me. Well thats what ive tried to convince myself anyway!
After talking to friends who have kids i just get the blank look. They seem to have great sex lives and have regained some tightness after pelvic floor excersises.
I just wish i could get the confidence to accept what im sure are the normal results of childbirth! Im so lucky to have the most beautiful dd and its all worth it for her, but being in my early 20's the prospect of a life of celibacy is starting to get me down a bit.