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One-child families

Got questions about only having one child? Find the answers here.

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Original poster

I really dislike 'the Large Family' on cbeebies

24 replies

Lazycow · 02/03/2009 20:09

I know a grown woman should have better things to spend her time thinking about than a children's programme about an overweight family with long noses but frankly I watched it with ds today and it really irritated me.

Why does the uptight, prissy family next door have to be a 'one child' family with the parents from hell? They could just as easily be a family of two and be as obnoxious but I suppose the play is on the word 'large' which refers to their size as elephants and also the fact that they have 4 children. The fun-loving relaxed nature of their 'large' family has to contrasted with the prim and uptight 'small' family next door.

The child in the small family (Sebastian I think he is called) spends his life with his (also rather long) nose pressed up against the window of the 'oh so jolly and laid back large family next door' and his parents cosset and pamper him ridiculously.

I know it is only a story but it realy annoyed me I just had to get that moan off my chest

Thank you

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Twims · 02/03/2009 20:11

It's only a story

harpsichordcarrier · 02/03/2009 20:13

I think you may be overthinking this

morningpaper · 02/03/2009 20:15

BUY A PAPER

nickytwotimes · 02/03/2009 20:18

Methinks you may be a tad oversensitive Lazycow?

Gorionine · 02/03/2009 20:20

I love the Large family, It feels like home!

Gorionine · 02/03/2009 20:22

oh, and you have to watch more than 1 episode to really appreciate it!

Original poster

Lazycow · 02/03/2009 21:00

Yes yes I know. I am being oversensitive but we have recently moved and I have no friends locally and ds hs none either. He has no cousins and all our carefully cultivated groups of friends that ds played with has gone.

I want a houseful of children and I KNOW ds would like more children to play with none of which I can do much about at the moment. All of that just came into even clearer focus after watching that bloody programme.

I know it will take time. We only moved a month ago but it is just hard at the moment.

OP posts:

Gorionine · 03/03/2009 08:22

How old is your Ds? If he is already in shool he will start making friends pretty fast. If he is still too little, do try a mother and toddlers group, it might feels like a chore sometimes, but it will get him to see other children. For having mo ved quite a few times as well i do agree that in some places I found it really hard to make friends for myself., especially when we were in the Banbury area, people were so cold, it was very depressing! Where about did you move to? maybe we are neighbours?

MrsTittleMouse · 03/03/2009 08:26

I thought about that too - that it was celebrating the more-is-merrier school of parenting and poking fun at the parents of only children. And I have two children! In fact, I can't think of any one-child families on Cbeebies...

theyoungvisiter · 03/03/2009 08:32

Clifford the big red dog - which I hate but she's an only child isn't she?

To be fair I think it's more an issue of dramatics - you need 2 or more kids to9 interact and siblings is an easy way to get that.

fryalot · 03/03/2009 08:38

LazyCow - I love the fact that the "good" family are messy and chaotic and they have their priorities straight (in my opinion) The next door neighbours are prissy and uptight and twats not to my taste. I think the fact that they only have one child is not a dig at one-child families, more a dig at prissy straitlaiced people.

If your ds is under 5, you would be eligible for a Home Start volunteer who can introduce you to local parent/child groups, go with you to toddler groups, or even just sit and chat with you.

Also, is there a family centre in your local town? They generally have a drop in day where you can take ds to play and even borrow toys and things from their toy library.

scampadoodle · 03/03/2009 09:18

But Squonk, why not give the prissy family 3 or more kids as well? You'd still have the contrast in attitudes. I think it's saying that parents who have only one child do so because they don't want their house mussed up or something.(I speak as a mother of 2.)

I know it is probably overthinking it, but when you watch a lot of Cbeebies, it gets to you (thank god I don't, anymore) I used to wonder what they did with Clifford's crap & how come Bob could accomplish complex building jobs in a day, & why noone gives Barnaby Bear a good slap...

fryalot · 03/03/2009 09:42

but you could see it as a prissy family not wanting more children to mess up their perfect house, rather than people with one child being prissy (iykwim)

I suspect that paragraph may come across as offensive, which I don't mean at all but I'm not eloquent enough to phrase it better.

But I know what I mean and I hope you will too.

Yes, they could have given them more children, but if they did, then that would have meant that there would be eight children and four adults who were regulars in the programme and that may have been too much for small viewers to keep track of. (especially when they all pretty much look exactly the same)

And if we're talking Barnaby Bear - how come he talks about his "paw prints" when he's clearly wearing caterpillar boots - surely they would be "footprints" as the boot is in the shape of a human foot, not a bear's paw? eh? eh?

Original poster

Lazycow · 03/03/2009 09:51

Sorry not to reply before but I had to do some other stuff yesterday and this mornign have spent nearly 2 hrs playing with ds!!

Scampdoodle - I think we are similar, dh pokes gun at the way I TAke things a little bit too literally. How is it that Bob can do so much in one day ansd as for Barnaby Bear .....

Gorione - Interesting you say that about Banbury. We aren't there but we are in Oxford which isn't a million miles away.

I am finding it difficult to strike up conversations and I have noticed at ds's pre-school (he is 4.3 and been going for a couple of weeks) there are almost no one child families, although I suppose some of them might be child minders so you can't really tell.

I know it shouldn't matter but where we moved form I had at least 6 friends with only children. This made such a difference to our social life as they are more likely to accept an invitation or to invite etc. I did have friends with more than one child and they were lovely but generally a lot of them were too busy to make much effort outside their family. I suppose I just miss my firends really and ds does too a bit.

I'm sure it will improve - just off to check ds's cbeebies intake. If the large family is on I will make a determined effort to see past my own issues as I'm sure it is a great programme really !

OP posts:

TsarChasm · 03/03/2009 09:53

Actually I'm pretty offended to think that large families are portrayed as living in messed up houses.

Oh actually scrub that...

Original poster

Lazycow · 03/03/2009 09:53

Sorry about the numerous typos - I am alsoin the midst of trying to do a few job application things (my redundancy was what prompted our move) and am finding that an only child who needs a lot of playing with doesn't equate too well with spending too much time job hunting.

Still the 2 hrs of playing with ds seems to have bought me some peace - temporarily anyway

OP posts:

100yearsofsolitude · 03/03/2009 09:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gorionine · 03/03/2009 10:16

When we where in Banbury, I only had 1 child that was not in school at the time as we stayed there for 7mth between her being 6 and 13mths old. dd1 was really my life line as I was having pretty much zero adult conversations. DH was working shifts from 6am to 2pm or 2pm to 10pm and was sleeping whrn I was awake.

Do try to meet mums from school, it does not matter if they have more dcs than you. I have quite a few friends whith just one child and I never really saw it as an issue, in the sense that unless the parents are really not nice people, having just one child is not really a criteria to dismiss a friendship IMO.

Regarding the TV programm, it just depicts one single child family versus one multi children family, the description they make of it is not necessarely realistic.I have 4 dcs and it is nice, but it is not always as simple as the programm shows it. And all single child families are not obnoxious stuck up people thanks God!

I hope things will get better for you soon and that you will feel "acclimated" enough to make new friends.

Gorionine · 03/03/2009 10:18

Oh Lazycow, sorry to be curious but where were you before Oxford. ( I did live in Oxford as well for two years when DH was a student I did love it but it was in the pre-children era!)

Original poster

Lazycow · 03/03/2009 10:37

I was living on the Surrey London borders so not really miles away (about 60) but enough to make it impossible to have regular mettups with friends etc.

Anyway I know I just have to adjust and much of my obsession with one vs more than one child families is due to my sadness over not being able to have any more - I know that really.

I suppose being away from the support network I so carefully built over the last 5 years in addition to my pre ds friends makes me aware of how quiet life is with just one child no family and precious few friends around and tbh that doesn't really suit me at all.

I spent the weekend visiting and looking after my elderly parents and got roped in to seeing another elserly aunt in need of help/shopping etc and as stressful as I found it (had to deal with ds as well0 I noticed that I was feeling quite chipper as at least it was busy and I was being useful - as soon as I got back here the depression cloud descended again

I have to go now as ds is calling that he is bored- bless him I really don't blame him at the moment!!

OP posts:

daisy99divine · 03/03/2009 11:59

LazyCow - in the nicest way your posting made me laugh. Poor you, you have a lot on your plate at the moment - and it seems that the Large Family has just pushed you over the edge - let me send you some soothing vibes to cheer you up!

I haven't seen the Large family but almost anything on CBeebies can get on your tits irritate when you're not in the mood!

FWIW....Postman Pat has a lovely one child family - he has one son and his best friend (the scientisty one - Julian?) is also an only ...

As for Oxford, it will no doubt take time. I lived for a few years in Jericho when my DH was studying. It was pre-children but there were lots of community things going on which was a good way to meet people....

If I don't get lambasted for it, you would be very welcome in the Tea-Room - everyone (Large/ Small/ Banbury/ Oxford/ London etc etc) always is - if you need a chat and a drink of some sort....

Gorionine · 03/03/2009 12:05

Where is that heavenly TEA-Room daisy?

daisy99divine · 03/03/2009 13:44

oh, sorry, I am hopeless at links - it is here, I hope!

MadBadandDangerousToKnow · 03/03/2009 22:36

What a fascinating thread.

We're past the CBeebies stage and I don't remember The Large Family clearly. TV programmes for very young children tend to be very simplistic simple and very high contrast, which may explain why there is a large boisterous family on one side and a small, prissy family on the other. It may not have been the intention but it does seem to reinforce the stereotype. But there are other representations of one child families, as daisy has pointed out.

We had a thread a while ago about depictions of one child families in books, but I'd never really thought about TV programmes before.

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