Always wanted just one child...now I have two

[tonton]

Of course I must say straight off that I love dd2 to bits and wouldn't send her back for anything!

And I know am VERY lucky to have two children - this is not a 'feel sorry for me' thread.

HOWEVER I had always wanted just one child and after I had my beloved dd1 I could see no reason to have another. I was so happy to have her in my life. One reason I wasn't keen to have another is that I couldn't imagine having more room in me to love another an equal amount.

Well 7 years on I had dd2. And she is wonderful. But if I am REALLY honest i will always have a special place in my heart for dd1 and will always wonder what life might have been like if we'd stayed with just 1 child.

So good luck to all you 1 child families - I know you'll be very happy.

Hello tonton and thank you for sharing your experiences.

Um, thank you for those encouraging words. I think!

thanks tonton

Things dont always work out as you plan, do they? I wanted 2 and ended up with 3 as I eventually had twins conceived naturally after 4 long years of trying. I have found myself too on dificult days thinking well I only bloody wanted ONE more not TWO!!!! Then I feel guilty on the other hand as I tried for so long and should be grateful to have 2 happy bright healthy boys.

I can relate to how you feel but I'm sure that you will feel differntly in time.

Just think how having a sibling will bring out a different dimension in your DD1's personality that you would not otherwise have seen. Sure, you wouldn't have missed it if you'd never had the chance to see it but now you've been given the chance to - enjoy it!

You will no doubt love to see their relationship grow and it will bring you a lot of joy that you would otherwise not have experienced.

Try to draw on the positives of the situation and enjoy both your children and the relationship you will all enjoy as a family.

Amazing your honestly tonton, very taboo to say that I'm sure. But I'm afraid I don't get it though. I wonder how old dd2 is? Its one thing only wanting 1, but when a 2nd comes and they play and interact together it is another dimension to the family. When you see the love they have for each other (well you have to look past the fighting!) it is heart warming.

does that sound too slushy???

And when a 2nd comes along and they don't play and interact together that's another dimension to the family, too

Rebecca, very true, it took at least 3 years for dd 1 to forgive me for having ds1!

I quite often wonder what it would be like to still the parent of an only.

I imagine myself driving a two seater sports car, and not having to entertain another child will ds1 is in an after school club. [green]

Well, you're not missing anything on the motoring front. I have an only (baby of 10 months) and a two seater sports car, as well as a larger four seater sports coupe.

I have never used the two seater with the baby because the luggage space in the front (engine in the back) is generous enough for a gnat's knapsack. No pushchair of any description could ever go into it and I don't use slings.

As for the four seater, this has indeed been a very stylish way of transporting baby. However, all good things come to an end and the car is being replaced by an estate! The baby is now ready for the next stage car seat and this can only go into the back. I do not see myself with a baby in arms scrambling across the back seats as being a dignified sight. So practicalities win and it will be a novelty doing double digit mpg, not to mention getting the pushchair in one-piece.

tonton - I have an only and have absolutely no intention or desire to have another.
Hypothetically speaking, if I did have another I think I could empathise with you.