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One-child families

Got questions about only having one child? Find the answers here.

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Original poster

Nativity Play - feeling like the worst Mum ever!

27 replies

RomanMum · 06/12/2013 11:50

OK this is the deal - I work Wed & Thurs, DD goes to breakfast club at 8am.

Nativity Play parts were posted on the board at school during the day on Wednesday. It was first come first served to sign your child up for parts. You know what's coming next...

The annoying thing is that I could have, should have, gone in to school yesterday to sign up DD to be an Angel (if indeed there were any left, only 5 angels up for grabs) which is what she had her heart set on. I had the day off to do Xmas shopping etc. I didn't, and because of this the only parts left this morning were shepherds and animals.

Now DH is not talking to me, DD has yet to find out the bad news, and I feel like a complete a*wipe for not going in especially.

Not sure if I can even bring myself to go to the play. Help!

OP posts:

LoganMummy · 06/12/2013 11:51

Why didn't you make it in?

Rooble · 06/12/2013 11:57

Can't believe school has a system of parents having to sign up children to be in a play... It's kind of irrelevant that you were shopping yesterday - any child whose parent works is at a total disadvantage. (And I speak here as a sharp-elbowed SAHM who would have been there). You need to object to school about the stupid system!

LydiaLunches · 06/12/2013 12:08

a) that is a daft system.

b) it is in your power to sell an animal to her, cute costume etc.

NatashaBee · 06/12/2013 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

RomanMum · 06/12/2013 12:13

She's an animal - species TBA. Is there anything good to say about an animal as opposed to an angel?

OP posts:

randomquicknamechange · 06/12/2013 12:15

What an awful system, it's not your fault the Angels were probably all allocated anyway.

BornToFolk · 06/12/2013 12:22

That is an appalling system that's discriminatory to children who's parents work I'd be having a word with the teacher and head. Awful!

Anyway, animals can be awesome, much more scope for a comedic performance!

Original poster

RomanMum · 06/12/2013 12:24

Just feeling guilty that I could have gone in yesterday and I didn't. Yes the angels may well have been allocated already but we'll never know. I didn't make it in because I forgot, plain & simple.

I know I'm overreacting - there are far more important things in the world after all, but to a 4 year old this is a big deal and she will be devastated when I tell her this afternoon. Not a good day.

OP posts:

littleblackno · 06/12/2013 12:27

How old is she? Why is your DH not speaking to you? He sounds like an arse imo. Why did he not go in if he's that worried about it? You took the day off to do other things for the famly not lay about watching jeremy vile (but even if you did so what?).
Sounds like a stupid system, I'm sure your dd will recover, there are going to be others who didn't get what they wanted, and you are far from a terrible parent because of it.

iseenodust · 06/12/2013 12:30

Most stupid system for allocating parts.

She will not be devastated if you tell her she will be most cute/furry/lovable whatever animal. You and your DH wallowing.

littleblackno · 06/12/2013 12:30

sorry x-post. I know it's important to a 4 year old but it's also a good lesson for her. 4 year olds are fickle, can you find out what her friends are going to be and pair her up as sister sheep or something?

YouAreMyRain · 06/12/2013 12:48

Parents have to go in to school, during the day, to sign their children up for parts in the play?! That's crazy!

Are you in the UK?

defineme · 06/12/2013 12:55

people make mistakes, she honestly will get over this and yes sell her the animal idea - they have the most fun-angels have to be serious.

I can never understand why anyone would ever put up with a partner not speaking to them- I would never do it to someone - childish, controlling, ridiculous behaviour.
He should be giving you a hug and saying 'Let's think of a way to cheer her up.'

PeterParkerSays · 06/12/2013 12:55

I do one pick up a week, with another child's mother doing the others. My son would be third ferret from left by the time I'd have got in to sign him up. rotten system.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 06/12/2013 13:04

My DS would never have had any part if our school did this.
How on earth is that fair? A lot of parents work, how are they supposed to do this?
I would have a word with the school tbh. It can't be right that your child gets the best part simply because you have a parent who has time to come into the school first?

Honestly, don't worry so much.
We all forget things. It's not the end of the world.
It's her first nativity. Enjoy it, have fun with it, and if she is disappointed with her part, it won't last forever.
She won't remember in 10 years time, she won't spend her entire life thinking you were a terrible parent because she had to be an animal at 4.

And your h sounds like an arse. Why on earth is he not talking to you? Because you forgot? Has he never ever forgotten anything?

Misfitless · 06/12/2013 21:13

That's a really shit system. You won't be the only parent feeling like this, surely. The parts should be allocated fairly. I'd be starting a petition. Hope your DD isn't too devastated. Whilst I understand that you will be feeling crappy, it really isn't your fault.

Original poster

RomanMum · 09/12/2013 13:28

Thanks for your words of support. I was feeling a bit rubbish and had to vent. It wasn't so bad after all - sat DD down with some chocolate and told her the news. She was a bit sad but not the meltdown I had expected. The chocolate helped (just like her mum). We did some animal acting together and all was fine.

DH also had a bad day but he's (mostly) over it.

OP posts:

SqueakyCleanLibertine · 09/12/2013 13:33

Just at your dh being more pouty about it than your 4 year old!

IsThatTrue · 09/12/2013 13:37

I forgot dd's gymnastics performance on Friday. I was labeled 'worst mum in the world' and had several punishments over the weekend (carrying their school bags home, buying them chips, letting them have extra reading time) to make up for it.

We all forget stuff sometimes. :)

WoodBurnerBabe · 09/12/2013 13:49

I have forgotten, just in the last couple of week, celebration assembly, where DD1 won a prize for excellent maths and non-uniform day, so she went in her uniform on a day when everyone else was in normal clothes. I also forgot to bake cakes for the school bazaar and I lost her reading record (now found in the pile of magazines in the loo - no idea how it got there!).

She said to me "you're still the best Mum even if you have a sieve for brains". I think she's been talking to DH as I am famously absent minded, even when not sleep deprived by a teething 1yr old and working 4 days a week!

Animals are great, she'll love it :-) DS isn't even getting to go to his nativity, as it's on a day when he doesn't go to preschool and the childminder can't get him there for various reasons. Am currently contemplating trying to find someone to collect him from CM, take to preschool, take photos of him being cute in the play and then return to CM. Don't think it's going to happen though, which is unfair on him. I am at least getting to go to DD1's nativity this year...

Misfitless · 09/12/2013 13:52

This is turning into a competition and my entry is.....
Forgetting pretty much every non-uniform my DD1 ever her had at her primary school. We'd get to the road the school is on, see everyone not in uniform and then turn around and go home and get her changed!

I think I win hands down, we're talking at lease 1 non-uniform day per term, per year, for 7 years!!

SqueakyCleanLibertine · 09/12/2013 14:15

I still haven't 'sourced' a bloody sheep mask for my ds, and the plays on Wednesday

Misfitless · 09/12/2013 16:27

Come back to us on Wednesday morning, Squeaky, and we might reconsider your application. As it stands, that's a pretty lame entry for worst mother ...it's only Tuesday!

Misfitless · 09/12/2013 16:38

In fact it's Monday, and I meant least not lease, too!

Spacecraft · 09/12/2013 16:53

OMG what time do you have to be there to get Mary? I'm sure there would be actual violence if such a system was used here.

DD will be fine. IME these things matter far more to the parents

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