Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

One-child families

Got questions about only having one child? Find the answers here.

Flip

Original poster

xmas with onlies and no relatives close by

23 replies

jen127 · 20/09/2011 12:16

What do you do on Christmas day with your onlys? We live in Ireland and have no family here. DS is now 9 and before dinner is finished he is twitching to be with people his own age! We play games etc but he struggles terribly on Xmas day!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Hullygully · 20/09/2011 12:17

We always have people round in the afternoon for games and even more wine , do you have anyone you could ask round? Loads of people are grateful for the chance to have a change of scene.

dottyoddsocks · 20/09/2011 14:26

I have the same problem as we also have no family to see.Dreading christmas for this reason.It is really hard when you think that everyone else is having a really social time with lots of family and friends.I feel quite embarrassed for my dd that our situation is the way it is as it makes me feel like we are really odd compared to others.
In past years we have taken a walk in the afternoon to use up some time.Is there anywhere nice to walk to where you are?We go and look at the local pigs and cows for some company.

UniS · 20/09/2011 21:26

DS is a bit younger. But I hope that a walk to church ( where he sees friends) followed by popping in to teh pub ( more friends probably) then home for lunch, opening presents, phoning GPs, playing with new stuff, tea, storys and bed... will suffice for a few more years.

Original poster

jen127 · 21/09/2011 08:57

We have very good neighbours and maybe now is the year to extend the hand of friendship and see if they would be interested in doing something in the afternoon or early evening after dinner.
This is just a difficult dilemma around what should be a fantastic time of year!
If he was older and a non believer i might if finances permit think of going away at Xmas.

OP posts:

Hullygully · 21/09/2011 10:34

Definitely jen! Invite them round for tea and cake. Go for it.

I think most people think xmas is family time and no one is interested in doing anything, whereas most people are actually desperate to do something! Unless they have a house of 20, of course - in which case blag an invite..

nickschick · 21/09/2011 10:40

Theres lots to do to fill up christmas day ....we now live nearer to friends and family but in the past have been v isolated,one is to introduce church and go to a service (v christmassy),long walks with a dog or a frisbee or both,something constructive gift wise to build after dinner ......then after that a dvd hes desperate to see and a game of monopoly or cards.

nickschick · 21/09/2011 10:43

We always have grandad for entertainment though...... one memorable year he actually set himself on fire whilst i was cooking lunch.....another year dh found a huge dog and brough it into our tiny little grade 2 listed home with an open fire and no guard (every time the dog wagged its tail the fire blew up .....another year the turkey didnt defrost so dh put it in the bath ,,,,,,ds1 saw it and thought it was a dead person and refued to bath or eat turkey.

dottyoddsocks · 21/09/2011 14:26

Good idea to invite neighbours around.Maybe I should try doing that too but where I live they seem to have lots of relatives and would probably be busy with them.
I would also like to go away somewhere in the future.Maybe in a few years we will.Church would be no good for us though as we are not christians.I guess it is only one day to get through though but the build up is very long then there is new years eve to endure.

Hullygully · 21/09/2011 14:29

dotty that is really sad.

Is it really that grim?

dottyoddsocks · 21/09/2011 15:05

Yes it has been quite grim in recent past years especially new year because most of my family(grandparents,dad etc) who we used to celebrate with have now died.I think xmas for many people can feel quite lonely because of feelings of loss and memories of how things once were.Not sure what the answer is really.

mumblechum1 · 21/09/2011 15:12

We're in the same boat with (now17 yr old ds). All our families are hundreds of miles away and they all do stuff together, so we've always had quiet Xmas, but we rather enjoy it. DH always does a treasure hunt for a few of the presents and DS does one for us which takes up quite a while and they are fiendishly difficult and usually funny.

Other than that, it's a pretty nice, relaxed day, we'll watch some Christmas film, eat loads, phone the GPs etc, have a few drinks.

I used to agonise over our pathetically tiny Christmas but you kind of have to get over comparing your family to the ones you see in the Waitrose magazines and enjoy what you have.

Original poster

jen127 · 22/09/2011 09:08

Thank you for your replies, it is great to not feel alone with this issue. I guess I just think to much about it! I will invite the neighbours in after dinner for a refreshement and a game of whatever Santa has brought.
Dotty my neighbours all have large local familes but i will be going on the premise that they would rather spend time with friends than family :)

OP posts:

QOD · 22/09/2011 09:17

We have an only and we hate Xmas day with a passion. SO boring, she will be 13 this year.
We used to pop to see the inlaws for a while, but they both recently went into care so whilst we can go and see them still, I can't see it will be particularly nice :(
Hard to explain it to people usually, but my DD is one who ALWAYS wants someone to come for a walk with us, bike ride with us, day out with us. And then Xmas day - nothing.

We do socialise with DH bro and family on Xmas eve, Boxing day with my parents and sis and family and have fantastic days. But Xmas day is always poop.

munstersmum · 22/09/2011 09:35

Consider creating a new tradition that is yours as a family. How about letting DC make an Xmas ice cream house/log? Make a vanilla or choc ice-cream yourselves in the morning. In the afternoon turn it into a full blown gastronomic creation. You get the idea all manner of garish colours and e numbers sweets & choc chunks stirred in, decorative sprinkles...

CMOTdibbler · 22/09/2011 09:58

I quite like the day of just the three of us tbh - we have a really lazy day in pyjamas and eating the food we like rather than having to be posh. We don't often get the opportunity to do nothing, so its a really special day

MediumPretty · 23/09/2011 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scoutliam · 23/09/2011 00:41

Medium, are you Mary Poppins?

nickschick · 23/09/2011 11:51

Scout thats a bit harsh.

MediumPretty · 23/09/2011 12:18

No, scout, but my family and I have a bloody good Christmas

nickschick · 23/09/2011 12:20

Sounds like it mary poppins mediulpretty .

nickschick · 23/09/2011 12:20

mediulpretty???? sorry - medium pretty .

thesurgeonsmate · 23/09/2011 12:37

I was an only, although we did have a grandparent who lived with us and another who attended, it was all adults. I loved Christmas. My mum said that she thought opening a stocking on your own was a bit sad, so she packed stockings for everyone. At the start, she was packing her own, but my dad eventually got the hint, and as I got older I helped him with it, initially he gave me the stuff to wrap, then he would get me to go and buy stuff for it. We used to have people who were on their own for Christmas for Christmas dinner - this was easy for her as we happened to have a renewable source of compliant "people on their own". I also used to have a party on Christmas Eve, which my Mum now says was very easy to organise, because little girls all up for christmassy traditions and parents very grateful for an hour or two to wrap presents.

I have to agree with what Medium Pretty says about all the fun with none of the squabbling and resentments - my parents were in charge, they had no-one else to please, no competing expectations, and they always played a blinder, I have to say.

EssentialFattyAcid · 18/10/2011 06:24

You can adopt a lonely old person fir Christmas - a vicar would help you to arrange it.

Or do voluntary work together and serve lunch to the homeless?

Flip