Parents evening told DS is too much of a leader, must learn to share, how do I help this?

[dontdillydally]

Not sure if this is a reason but DS is an only child and therefore never had to negoiate with any other siblings at home etc... teacher said today that he sometimes is abit of a leader....likes to take charge. During a role play incident the other day he wanted to be X but several others did also but he was adament that he was going to be X and wouldnt back down

I sort of knew what she meant but am putting it down to being an only child noone to compete with etc...

What do you think?

I think it is prob just his personality tbh Nothing wrong with being a leader, but you might want to work on 'sometimes its kind to let other people do the thing you want to do' side of things. How old is he ?

It could be his personality or because he is an only child. Either way he needs to learn how to negotiate.

he's 6 so early days...he is very considerate though she said and a joy to have in the class. She also said he was NOt the only one!!!

Nothing to do with him being an only. Plenty of bossy kids with siblings.

Did you ask the teacher what she was doing to encourage him to share?

How does he behave when he has friends over to play at home?

he's fine very friendly and considerate I think

I was one of four - (I was number 3) and I was a right little bossy madam! Or as your teacher put, a natural leader... I would really say its not because your dc is an only, but because that's just the way he is.

Hmm. This is one of those ambiguous situations, isn't it? Good or bad according to your point of view.

It seems to me that it's a good thing that your ds can stand his ground and maybe, 30 or 40 years from now when he's Prime Minister, his teacher will be boasting that she once taught him. But if he's always being too dominant and depriving his friends of the opportunity to be the leader then clearly this needs reining back. So I would begin by questioning how much of a problem this is - how often do these incidents happen? Do his classmates see it as a problem or is it something that the teacher has spotted and is sensitive to?

I think one can overdo the 'it's because they're an only child' argument - only child status can explain anything and everything, if one is that way inclined - and one could equally well say that only children would be a pushover for being dominated or bullied because they've never had to learn to stick up for themselves.