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One-child families

Got questions about only having one child? Find the answers here.

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Original poster

How often do your only DC see their school friends during the holidays?

21 replies

gibba8 · 31/12/2010 20:34

Just wondered really.
I think I try and overcompensate for my DD being an only child and so I am always inviting her friends around to play and for tea.
She just lights up when her friends come to play and really enjoys their company and they usually play so nicely together.
I do wonder though if the parents get fed up of me often inviting their children around although they never refuse!

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sarah293 · 31/12/2010 20:35

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Bonsoir · 31/12/2010 20:37

This holiday (a fortnight) - DD has been invited on three playdates by classmates, we have been round to tea/play at friends once and my sister and family came for the Christmas weekend and DD played with my niece, her first cousin, who is the same age. So - 6 days with other children. Plus other days with grandparents and out with me.

She loves seeing friends and, I agree, when you make the invitation, it is rarely declined! This holiday I have been reaping the rewards of invitations I have made in the past!

nameymacnamechanger · 31/12/2010 20:39

Usually once in each school holiday about half a dozen of us meet up at a soft play place. DS might have my friends son come round with her too once (they are in same class) but that's it.

DS isn't fussed about seeing school friends though.

Original poster

gibba8 · 31/12/2010 21:06

Wow-thanks for the quick replies and on New years Eve too!
Thought every one else had a life and would be out partying by now!(smile)
My DD rarely gets invited back to friends houses but I understand that they have more than 1 child and work full time so I really do not mind.
She has had 1 invite during these holidays and also an invite to a xmas party so not too bad.
I have had 3 of her friends over to play on 3 seperate occasions - used to invite them all together but the excitement and noise levels were too much even for me!

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Original poster

gibba8 · 31/12/2010 21:07

Why did my smile not work? Try again :)

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Acinonyx · 02/01/2011 12:27

gibba - I also try to invite dd's friends regularly - she loves to have them and adults just don't do that kind of kids free play (this adult doesn't really want to either tbh ). I managed to kidnap her best friend for 2 days last week.

I don't mind if it's not completely reciprocal, but I prefer it to be at least partially reciprocal. Experience has taught me that it works better if it's not completely one-sided.

I'm sure I put a lot more thought and work into arranging playdates for dd - I just accept it goes with the only-child territory (if you have that kind of only dc).

TheMonster · 02/01/2011 12:35

Only if there is a birthday party. I'm not friendly with the parents (although they are all very nice, don't get me wrong).

compo · 02/01/2011 12:46

Just as an aside I love my kids being invited round
I've got two dcs and my eldest is school age and we tend to have one friend round each holiday and he goes back once a holiday or after school once a half term

Blu · 02/01/2011 12:53

Quite often - all the friends love to see each other all the time now they are about 9, so DS gos to friends and friends come here.

BUT I make sure that sometimes I take all the siblings of DS's friends too, as that way the parents get a break and it acts as childcare - so there's something in it for them, and it is the same as when they have our one child and we have child-free time.

UniS · 03/01/2011 22:53

Most holiday weeks we will bump into some of his preschool/ school mates at some point in the park and might have one popping over to play .

This christmas hols ... one meand boy at friends house afternoon, one afternoon boy went sledging with friends family. 2 sessions we went sledging and bumped into friends, Carol singing and at pub we have bumped into his friends.

BUT hes had a nice time with me and his dad.

HSMM · 04/01/2011 08:15

I told my DD (age 11) she could organise herself for the first week of the Christmas hols and we would organise the second week. She had a stream of friends coming round to play and sleepovers for the first week (one day a whole group of them met at the local park) and then we organised a couple during the second week. She loves to spend time alone with us, but she loves being with her friends too.

Acinonyx · 04/01/2011 09:10

Dd (5) is deeply into dressing up and playing princesses/fairies which I feel is best played with other 5 yr-olds. I'll do board games, crafts and books. But please, not princesses and fairies....

Blu - I sometimes struggle when I have a whole sibling set over as they don't really play together and I end up having to play with the other siblings (or the consequences are dire - it's like having 30 dc in the house) while dd plays with the 5 yr-old. I really have to be feeling bright-eyed and bushy tailed to go for that.

Extremelychocolatey · 05/01/2011 02:41

None! DD (6) has seen the DCs of my friends but no "playdates" as I'm pissed off with inviting her school friends over and it never being reciprocated.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 06/01/2011 06:20

DD is going for her first meeting with another child tomorrow. We live in Antwerp so tend not to bump into people. The friend lives in the centre so it's a train journey for us.
DD adores the company of other children but her two 'best' friends are away in foreign parts and don't return until the day before school starts.

howtoapproach · 10/01/2011 18:48

Must admit not once over Xmas holidays. She met up with cousins a couple of times and she was invited to a party - but apart from that no. Mind you, she was at the childminders for 5 mornings where she had some friends to play with.

Hulababy · 10/01/2011 18:54

As an only child 8y dd does crave time to lost with other children. In nicer weather it isn't so bad as she will play on the cul de sac with children the same age.

In holidays, if not way,she will have friends rou d at least once a week and will to a friends bout h same. We often do a small for a big play and sometimes have 2 or 3 for a sleepover each holiday.

Her best friend, nnot from school, is katz's dd1 and we see them usually t least once a week, sometimes more in holidays. Intfact just been way for a week with them.

Another school friend we see a bit more often we are friends with the family.

FattyArbuckel · 31/01/2011 09:19

I have an only child and am friends with many other parents of one. Some of the children love being with friends and would chose to see a friend every day. Others would prefer to see friends less often - once or twice a week. My dd is in the latter category at the moment. She is 11 and I suspect may want to see friends more often once she is in secondary school.

Original poster

gibba8 · 23/04/2011 19:33

Thought I would bump this thread up and see how often your onlies have had playdates during the Easter holidays. My DD has not been invited to any these holidays but has been in to play with little girl next door and we are meeting up with friends one day next week.

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DooinMeCleanin · 23/04/2011 19:37

Daily. Dd1's friend lives directly opposite us. Although she had now taken a fancy to a boy who lives further up the street. I think maybe because his mum doesn't like him playing out alone so she gets to go in his house and eat all his biscuits [bublush]

fedupandfifty · 23/04/2011 22:11

My DD is 9 and is constantly craving company. She's more independent now and will go to knock on her friends. She plays with local mates usually - if they're around- but I try to have arrangements made in advance as well. Most of her school friends either go off with family or are in daycare. Some days I hardly see her, some days I spend with her and her friends in the park or somewhere. At the moment she's quite lucky to have other children of the same age around, who also happen to be in the same class. I don't really spend time with other parents-of-one, as most are working, but I'm always available to look after other children during the holidays as I work school hours. I quite often look after other people's children during the hols, mainly for company for DD.

GoInky · 27/04/2011 23:31

None. I find it quite hard to find them as everyone seems to be keen to have family time or is off to their house in France, Cornwall etc. It does worry me, as me DS (6) loves playing with other children. I do loads of invites, and don't worry about not being asked back, I don't dount as I do realise how much easier it is for me to be flexible and how much more we need the playdates. I even explained this to one mum who was open enough to share she didn't want so many playdates at our house as she couldn'd invite as back due to lack of time. That really worked. I also offer to pick up or take him if needed. It's easy for me to fit in. I guess it comes with the territory of being the parent of one, I agree. You just have to work much harder to create playmates for your children

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