3 yr old still unsettled at nursery even after 2.5 yrs of attendance

[Tiggerrrrr]

My 3 year old is still unsettled at his nursery, even though he has been going since he was 6 months old.

They have "rooms" to group the different ages and he was just about settled into the yellow room (up to 2 yr olds) when he was 20 months, just about settled into the blue room (up to 3 yrs) when he was 32 months. So each time he settled into the situation just before being moved to the next room up.

He is there two days a week for 6 hours per day.

He says he is bored and that there are "scary people" that he doesn't like (4 of the other children and two members of staff).

He cries when he is told that it is a nursery day. Is visibly upset on the way there. Clings to me or my husband when we drop him off. However, when we pick him up we can see that he is running about happily.

Is it normal for him to be this unsettled and for so long? And even if it is normal, is it right? One of the reasons for starting him so early at 6 months (just for two 3 hr sessions at that stage) was to make things easier for him as he got older.

I'm not sure if it's normal but dd age 4 is very similar and I'm starting to worry a little at how she's going to manage when she starts school next year. She's been at nursery since age 6 months too and goes one and a half days a week so similar to your ds. Today she was hysterical before going but when I ask her why she doesn't like nursery she says she'd rather be with me bacause when she gets hungry at nursery she doesn't get given a snack . She is always playing happily when I pick her up and I've spoken to her key worker who was quite surpirised and said she's always fine when she's there.

I wonder if it's partly because she's not there very much, so is obviously going to prefer being at home with me, and partly to get attention because when she does make a fuss it really taps into my guilt at leaving her and going to work .

I was wondering if a child minder might suit her better, more of a homely situation IYSWIM.

Sorry for the ramble but you're not alone.

Sorry your DD is going through the same thing, but you're right, it is very reassuring to know that I am not alone. Everyone looks very when I mention it.

Today I picked him up and he was really over the top about what a great day he'd had. I tried a new tack and thought I would reason with him there and then and said "well, that's interesting, you had a really great day and did (x/y/x). You didn't want to come this morning. I'll bet you are really glad you came."

he is prob to old for this now but even if they are age ready to go up, at my nursery we look ar their overall development and if they are not emotionally ready they stay behind for a term and parents can request for them to be held back. although he must be in the last room now and so not much use.

is there a red room to?

it sounds as if nursery isnt the place for him, could he not go to a childminder where things will be a bit more stable and then maybe send him to a preschool for a few hours a week which the childminder could take him too pick up as well as you on your days off so he gets in to the same pattern everyday whether you are at work or not.