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Am i being PFB about this or should i rightly have a word?

15 replies

mamakim · 24/09/2009 14:35

Ds is 2.2yrs, he goes to nursery 2.5 days a week.

He is currently potty training - this is not me pushing it, i thought he's be too young, but he has different ideas. I bought a potty a while ago and he wasn't very interested. He went to my mums and his 3yr old cousin was there and he saw him use the toilet. Since that he was obsessed with "weeing and pooing like x". Sooo, last thursday after picking him up from nursery at 12.30 i put him in pants and he didn't have a single accident for 5 days. I put him in pull ups to go out because i was sure it was too good to be true but he never wet them.

On tues he was back at nursery and my dh sent him wearing a pull up and explained he'd been dry for 4 days. I picked him up at 5.30 and he had been dry all day. Yesterday i picked him up and i asked how he'd been with potty and the girl said "oh, he hasn't bothered all day" I got him home and he wqas wearing a proper nappy (with tabs - not one i'd sent) and he seemed really down and disinterested in the toilet/potty.

Dh dropped him off today and emphasized the fact he had been doing really well and please use pull ups not proper nappies because we think that is confusing him! They said sure. I just picked him up at 12.30 and he's got another 'babies' nappy on and wet again.

Apparently he's the first in his room to be potty training and i get the feeling they think it's a case of oh he's weeing on the potty occasionally, and not taking it seriously. Perhaps they think i'm pushing it early but he's done so well and it feels like they've undone it! One problem is when dh drops him off, it's in a 'holding room' downstairs because it's 8am and when more kids get there they go off to their rooms. So the message is being passed on the his workers if you get me. AIBU to call them and speak to them again. AND i think if i can get him to go dry again until next tues just send him in pants with changes of clothes? Then they'll have to make more of on effort with it because they won't want him having accidents.

He is my pfb and i don't really know the protocol here.

OP posts:
mamakim · 24/09/2009 15:00


OP posts:
bigstripeytiger · 24/09/2009 15:04

I think you should speak to the nursery, they should be doing what you ask with this. I think that just sending him in with pants not pull ups is a good idea.

Do you have any other concerns about the nursery?

WriggleJiggle · 24/09/2009 15:04

2.2 is young, but not unreasonable. Sounds like a good idea to send him in his pants and trousers rather than a nappy. If he is dry for the next 5 days he should be able to manage. dd never used pull ups, just went straight from nappies to pants.

I'd consider sending him in with a couple of spares though.

If messages are not getting passed on, perhaps you could write them a note and put it in his bag?

daisydora · 24/09/2009 15:05

No i don't think you are being PFB about this at all.

My DD was 2.1yrs when we sent her to nursery 'potty training'. They were incredibly supportive. i rang them prior to taking her and we talked it all through and they said to bring her with several changes of clothes and they would do the rest. I only asked they put her in a pull up for her nap, which they did.

I think the nursery is being really bad on this. What do they say their procedure is for assisting in the potty training?

ElectricElephant · 24/09/2009 15:12

I don't think you're being PFB, this would really piss me off.

Ring the nursery and speak to the manager - just say that you're concerned that the message isn't being passed down, and it's confusing him.

Or write a note on his pull-up in the morning

lynniep · 24/09/2009 15:14

you definately need to have a word. This isnt on at all. They should be supporting you with the potty training - and they should be using the nappies you have provided, not random nappies with tabs (They should be doing that regardless)

Its sounds as you say as they arent taking it seriously - and in the process they are making him regress when he was clearly ready for no nappy. You need to kick up a fuss. with the person in charge. make it clear you arent happy.

Imagine if they just made all the kids wear nappies because they couldnt be bothered with potty training!

mamakim · 24/09/2009 15:15

Thanks for the replies. I only sent him in pull ups to make it easier for them, but maybe this is why they're not taking it seriously. I have called and asked if his worker will give me a call back when she has a sec. They're very good, a little disorganised maybe. But he loves it there.

I don't want to become one of those mothers who i'm sure they roll their eyes about because they're precious about everything. I tend to let things go to much for that reason but i really don't want ds feeling demoralised when he's been doing so well.

I'll put my all into reigniting his spirit with it until tues and if he's fine definitely no more nappies of any sort. He doesm't even nap there anyway.

OP posts:
mumof2222222222222222boys · 24/09/2009 15:30

I think the only thing I would do differently is put him in Big boy Pants - roary / Fireman Sam / Thomas / take your pick!

My DS's nursery suggested potty training when he was 2.3, and they were brilliant. Pull ups are fine at night/ long journeys etc, but I don't think they help training.

NB We don't bother for naps either - occasionally there has been a widdle, but not usually.

nurseryvoice · 24/09/2009 16:53

pull ups are awful, any nursery worker will tell you that.
It confuses the child because they still feel like a nappy.
They are hard to get off especially with a poo.
2.2 is very early especially for a boy and he may regress later (they sometimes do) but he seems keen. Agree with others send him in pants with a lot of changes of clothes and dont forget socks!!
Expect some accidents, they get so engrossed they forget.
Good luck

mamakim · 24/09/2009 17:40

He was having no problem with the pull ups when i was using them. He didn't want to wee or poo in anything other than potty or toilet. Also they do tear off at the sides. I did expect accidents because he's doing to be engrossed with playing at nursery. I didn't think 2.2 was that early.

OP posts:
babbi · 24/09/2009 20:37

Pull ups are not the way to go at all . He needs to be in pants if you are serious about giving potty training a go.
You can't be serious to say that the nappies will confuse ham and the pullups not !

Nurseryvoice always speaks sense in these matters .. you should listen to her ..

EverySingleStar · 25/09/2009 02:19

Agree with others. Can appreciate he was doing well with pullups but has it occurred to you he might have been doing really well because he feels the confidence of still having a nappy on?

If you put him in pants, it could be great - or not. If it doesn't work out, it's no big deal, and if it does woohoo for you no more nappies to buy .

I would speak to the nursery as it's more not following your wishes that I'd be upset about rather than the nappy thing.

mamakim · 25/09/2009 12:39

EverySingleStar he's been in pants permantly at home, i just put him in pull ups when went out in the car and at night. When we went out he didn't do anything in the pull up at all. I simply put him the pull up for nursery because i thought his taking to it was too good to be true and i wasn't confident that he could have really been ready.

I have spoken to the nursery today and agreed he will just be in pants from next tuesday. Saves any confusion - for him or nursery.

OP posts:
nurseryvoice · 25/09/2009 17:27

Thanks babbi

HSMM · 25/09/2009 21:08

Send him in in his pants, but don't just send spare pants and trousers ... remember spare socks and shoes (in case they all get wet). The nursery should support you in this.

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