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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Are nursery staff allowed to hug children?

20 replies

MrsMerryHenry · 23/09/2009 11:04

Surely they must be? While dropping off DS today one of his classmates was in floods of tears. The very nice nursery worker with said child was trying to distract him by singing loud songs, which (surprise, surprise!) wasn't working. All I could think was: that child needs a cuddle and a listening ear. But it occured to me that perhaps nursery staff are now discouraged from 'unnecessary' physical contact?

Please reassure me that this is not the case!

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Habbibu · 23/09/2009 11:05

DD's nursery staff cuddled her a lot, and any other sad child - the amount of cuddles and affection we saw was one of the reasons we chose it. She even had a sleep being cuddled once or twice.

PortAndLemon · 23/09/2009 11:05

Yes, they can. DD gets plenty of hugs and kisses.

PandaG · 23/09/2009 11:06

I cuddle upset children all the time, and sit with them on my knee. Do it in full view of other staff members, but do it nonetheless. A colleague had an upset child fall asleep on her the other day, which is exactly what the child needed, to be cuddled to sleep.

Habbibu · 23/09/2009 11:06

Sorry - that makes out dd was sad - all children got lots of cuddles, and they'd hug her every morning when she came in. Sad ones were cuddled to make them feel better.

bodeniites · 23/09/2009 11:44

funnily enough my sons speial needs school sent our letters2 weeks ago saying all taxi drivers/escorts
(dont know about the teachers and staff)had to show NO physical affection towards the children as they are trying to make it that just the parents do this as i am a parent and an escort i did not receive the letter but everyone else is quite angry about it

notevenamousie · 23/09/2009 11:45

It's the one thing I am insistent on when finding a nursery - that they give cuddles. My dd needs them!

CMOTdibbler · 23/09/2009 11:48

At Ds's nursery, they def do hugs and cuddles. I wouldn't send him to one that didn't

Original poster

MrsMerryHenry · 23/09/2009 12:01

This morning on our way to nursery, DS said 'I want to go home' with a tinge of sadness. After a failed diagnosis of the problem, I gave him a huge hug and sang 'Moon River' (one of his fave songs). Then we hopped off the bus and he rushed into nursery with a massive smile on his face.

Oh, the power of physical affection (oh, er, and Henry Mancini! ).

OP posts:

pippel · 23/09/2009 12:05

the day I cant cuddle a child at work would be the day I left

stealthsquiggle · 23/09/2009 12:08

DD's nursery certainly cuddle as needed, and clingy babies get carried around all day if need be.

You would think you would know with DC2, wouldn't you, but it is only with hindsight that DH and I have realised that clingy / unhappy DD over the last few months was because she was bored in toddlers - since moving (her idea, but supported by the staff) into preschool she bounces in to nursery, and has declared that she doesn't even need to take a cuddly friend with her any more.

Original poster

MrsMerryHenry · 23/09/2009 12:14

Well, perhaps it was just that particular member of staff then - or maybe she resorted to cuddles after I'd left. AFAIK she doesn't have kids so I guess the day she does the scales will fall off!

OP posts:

PortAndLemon · 23/09/2009 12:29

Or possibly she'd tried a cuddle but been shrugged off? Both of mine, while ordinarily cuddly, have sometimes had crying fits where they really didn't want to be cuddled despite my best intentions and attempts and I've had to settle for being there and trying to deal with it somewhat ineffectually instead.

Original poster

MrsMerryHenry · 23/09/2009 13:11

Yes, that's possible, too!

OP posts:

Foxy800 · 23/09/2009 19:33

Hi there, I work in a nursery too and I quite agree with pippel that the day I cant give cuddles to children that need them will be the day I leave the profession!!!!

nickytwotimes · 23/09/2009 19:35

My friend is a nursery nurse and gives loads of cuddles.
My son frequently comes home from pre school smelling of his nursery nurse's perfume, so I know he gets cuddles and I am VERY glad of it.

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 23/09/2009 19:38

oh yes, love cuddles and spent yesterday sitting on playground floor with a LO curled up on my lap asleep, while i cuddled him and drew on outside chalk boards with the other

nurseryvoice · 24/09/2009 14:02

I was cuddling a little boy yesterday as he was feeling ill and crying for his mummy. He sat on my knee for ages until he was settled.
(Rang mum, she came at the usual time for pick up)

mummytowillow · 24/09/2009 22:18

OOh I hope so, my daughter loves cuddles and I would hate it if she didn't get any.I often turn up to nursery and she is on one of the ladies laps, lovely!

didoreth · 08/10/2009 13:44

I think it would be abuse NOT to cuddle babies and small children. My ds started part time nursery at 10 months, and at first he used to come home reeking of perfume - I found this reassuring. He's 17 months now, and very active, so clearly has less time for cuddles - though I still sometimes find him sleeping in someone's arms when I pick him up.

seeker · 08/10/2009 13:48

My ds wss still sitting his teacher's knee in year 3. It squashed her a bit, but she coped!

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