Overreacting?

[Wholelottalove]

Hello

I am new to Mumsnet but I just wanted to post about something that happened in DD's nursery today and check whether I am overreacting in other people's opinion.

DD has just moved to the 12 months-2 yrs room. She has been with the nursery since she was 7 months old p/t and on the whole I have been happy with her care. She formed a very strong bond with her keyworker in the baby room who clearly adored her and was very supportive. The baby and toddler rooms are combined first and last thing so DD does get to see her old keyworker at these times. This is her 2nd week in toddler room and she seems fine, although a bit tired.

Sorry, getting to the point now. When I went to pick her up today as I got out of the car I heard what sounded like two or three children crying and someone saying 'shush!' in quite an angry tone. When I walked in, DD was fine and came to me with a big smile but two other children were having a scrap over a chair which was causing all the crying. Another was crying in the corner. There were two staff there - DD's new keyworker and another. The second member of staff went off to get a pushchair to put the child who'd been in the corner in (to rock to sleep). Meanwhile there was still a bunfight going on in the other corner and DD's keyworker just ignored them and carried on telling me about DD's day. The other member of staff is normally very cheerful but she looked really stressed out and was saying quite crossly she only had one pair of hands.

I know this may seem a silly concern, but I have ntoiced once or twice during DD's visits to toddler room and at the end of the day that her new keyworker seems a bit, er, clueless really. She kind of stands there ineffectually saying to the other staff 'x is taking the toy from y again' but not actually doing anything.

I've got a feeling I may just be projecting my anxieties about DD moving up and away from her old keyworker here. It just made me feel slightly uncomfortable today.

Sorry for such a long post!

Hi
I am just getting to the end of my dd sessions in nursery and going off to school. She has been going part time (AM'S)since she was 6 months and is now five. I would say that if you feel unhappy or concerned about something speak to the nursery, either the keyworker or their manager. While your child is at nursery the keyworkers have to fulfil your role and your childs and your wellbeing and confidence in the nursery is far more important than worrying about upsetting someones (an adult's!) feelings. It took me quite a long time to come to this point (and quite a few tears from me when I wasn't altogether happy with my first nursery!) There, it took me a long time to come to the point as well!

how many children were there overall? surely there should have been more than 2 members of staff?

thisisyesterday - there were five there in all, so I guess that is within ratios? They have told me they try to keep to 1:2 but sometimes it is 1:3 staff to children.

I just feel concerned about the level of individual attention DD is getting now she is in the next room up. I am once again wondering about looking for a childminder. I did look a couple of months ago but couldn't find any in my area with the space on the days I needed. DD is just coming up 14 months by wya of context.

Can anyone offer any advice? A similar incident has happened again today with the same two members of staff. This time, as I was coming into nursery DD's keyworker was ushering another child from the changing area back into the toddler room. He was crying and she was actually telling him to shut up.

I didn't get to find out whether DD had eaten ok as her keyworker was not on at lunch and when she asked the other worker just got a very crosss 'well, I don't know!'

I changed DD who had done a poo and left. I haven't said anything as I was feeling pretty angry and didn't want to make a big scene in front of DD.

Don't know what to do. I've never had a problem like this at nursery before Don't want to take her in tomorrow.

Have you got chance to ring manager tomorrow before she attends and express your concerns? Is the key worker qualified? What area are you in maybe someone can recommend child minder or other solution

So one of the staff seems clueless, you heard her tell a child to shut up and they had failed to notice your dd needed changing?

That all sounds rather disappointing to me but it can be fixed. Speak to the manager, be clear that you don't feel comfortable and ask them to act. It's a shame they've moved her up really. My nursery doesn't do it on ages but rather looks at the individual child and moves them when they are ready as well of course when numbers require. Dd3 split her time between the rooms for a long time and only went full time downstairs when she was 20 months or so.

I think you're right to be worried about this. "Shut up" is not on and being cross/short-tempered is not on from a paid carer. Yes, if you tell us roughly what area you are, someone may be able to recommend somehwere else. I don't think you're ever going to be happy with this nursery now, even if you do speak to the manager.

I do feel really disappointed and worried too. Everything seems fine when it isn't this particular combination of staff on. DD has seemed to settle well in the room and enjoyed having others to run around with and more space etc.

The worse thing is I have a horrible week at work so will have to go in and probably do a reasonably long dya tomorrow. I was thinking of dropping DD off and then going to speak to the manager. I know DD's keyworker, who is the one who seems clueless and also doing the shushing, has only just started in that room. I think she was with the older ones before.

I really just don't feel right about this. I am in north Wiltshire. I did look for a childminder a while ago and went with the nursery as couldn't find one in my area for the hours I wanted to do. Also I get a workplace discount on nursery and it is next door which was great when I was still breastfeeding as could feed in lunchtime. Not BF now though so maybe it is time to look for CM.

Actually, I have been thinking of something else. DD has started hitting herself on the head occasionally the last couple of weeks. When she was younger and vrey tired/teething she used to scratch at her ears and pull her hair. This head hitting is new though. Is it a sign she is stressed? Wondering if she is internalising things as I have noticed her keyworker seems to always praise her for being 'good' and not crying. She's pretty bright and would cotton on quickly I think to realising she's expected to behave a certain way. Or am I overinterpreting this?

Just feel so concerned. She is my first so I have never dealt with nursery or been in this situation before.