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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Can i have your opinons on this please

11 replies

huggybear · 15/04/2005 14:45

For the past two weeks or so my ds (age 2.5) has been crying about going to nursery and i thought it was because his fav nursery nurse has left but as i was putting him to bed he said

"Mommy, i'm a rude boy arnt i? X put me on the list again today cause im not a good boy"

He was very upset and when i asked him why he was on the list he said it was because he hadnt eaten his dinner - he has never eaten a dinner at nursery in six months, dont know why. He said

"me sorry im a naughty boy mommy"

It broke my heart, the poor thing had tears rolling down his face!

also, he said that a boy had hit him in the side and said he'd done it again and again and this boy hurt him which is odd because its the same boy that the nursery nurse said to me "huggycub has got a new best friend, they are always together blah blah blah"

He cried about going in today and ive made an appointment for 5pm to speak to the deputy head but im unsure what to say and whether im right to say anything. Maybe im over reacting and there isnt anything really to complain about, i dont want to go in there and end up looking like an idiot.

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FairyMum · 15/04/2005 14:48

I think you are right to be concerned. Why is he naughty when he doesn't eat his food? A naughty-list? I'd feel exactly the same way as you and would want to now what is going on. Good luck!

Gobbledigook · 15/04/2005 14:50

So would I - ahhh, your poor little boy. There is no way he should be referring to himself as naughty boy or saying 'sorry' -ooh, my blood is boiling.

Definitely raise it with them - tell them exactly what he said.

Let us know how it goes too.

desperatehousewife · 15/04/2005 14:51

you're right to voice your concerns. It's heartbreaking isn't it? Mine cried for 18 months every single morning when i left him. He's fine now though. I know that's a different thing - but I wanted you to know I feel for you. Definately talk to them and see what they say. They absolutely must not be allowed to make him feel naughty for not eating. Just go in and be open minded. Mine (2.10months) has tended to exaggerate/make up things occasionally - i dont' think intentionally - they just get a bit muddled sometimes.

Good luck.

Original poster

huggybear · 15/04/2005 14:51

just wanted some reassurance that i wasn't over reacting - thanks

OP posts:

saadia · 15/04/2005 15:16

I agree with what everyone has said. For your ds to be so distressed is very sad and worrying. It's a good idea to have a chat with the deputy head.

I thought everyone knew that when disciplining children you're not supposed to say that they themselves are naughty, but that what they did was naughty or not very nice - in any case, not eating is not exactly a reason for punishment.

In general I think it's better to be overly vigilant when it comes to children's welfare.

chipmonkey · 15/04/2005 16:13

We had this in ds1's first year in school. When his friends grandad told him he was a good boy, he said sadly, "I'm not good, I'm bold" (in Ireland, we say 'bold' instead of "naughty") Teacher in question never praised him once until I said something to her. Some of them are so negative in the way they teach!

Blu · 18/04/2005 12:51

Have you spoken to them, Huggy? I think it's a good idea to get to the bottom of anything that changes, and something particular is obviously upsetting your DS.
You don't need to end up looking like an idiot - all you need to do is explain that you are v concerned because he has suddenly started to get v distressed about being called 'naughty' etc, and you need to talk to them about wy this might be.

BarbaraX · 18/04/2005 13:09

I am in shock!! I would be discussing it with the staff right now!!! no one is an idiot, this is a serious issue, if a child so young is so unhappy at nursery. if they are really using a naughty list for anything, let alone not eating?????, i would look for another nursery. better to double check first what it is really going on with staff.
they would not dream anything like that in my dd nursery. I do not agree with this way of disciplining kids, what about praising the good behaviour? but please not fuss to be made about eating, that's soo dangerous.

KBear · 18/04/2005 13:16

Huggybear, you aren't overreacting. I would be horrified at this.

basketcase · 18/04/2005 13:24

Hope that your appointment went well and that your little one has a happier time this week. It is so awful when your child is upset and you feel helpless as it has already happened and you werren?t there to stop it at the time. Most of us have experienced this at one stage or another, hope your meeting helps you all to sort this one out easily and successfully.
Do let us know how you got on.

dropinthe · 18/04/2005 13:27

OMG-he's only 2.5 FGS!!Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

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