Ideal age for nursery

[RTJ]

What is the ideal age to send a child to nursery? My son is 10 months old and I don't know whether to send him to nursery for a couple of mornings a week so that he starts to learn to share and mix now or whether to wait until he is around 2. A few people have said that that is too late though as by then they are quite set.

No need to "socialise" until into toddlerdom imho. It is more for your benefit or necessity to do so sooner.

people will have differing opinions
my first started at 5 months, settled fine, my 2nd started at 9 months, settled fine
my friend's dd started at 20 months and is finding it hard to settle
yet another friend started at 2.5 and settled fine
really you just need to bite the bullet and try it if you can afford it. If you're not happy you can always take your lo out and try again later
Are you going back to work?

3 ish imo, bit earlier or later depending on child

by the way lewrning to share and mix can be done at mother and toddler groups, you don't need to leave him in childcare for that, as Lizs says it is if you feel like you need a break (and you doesn't?!!)

why don't you just take ds to drop ins and play groups where you stay then he can socialise and you can give him a wide berth and let him mix and share???

My DS did not "socialise" until he was about 2.2. Then it was toddler groups etc. He's now 2.7 and is kind to other children and will give toys to them if he is asked to. He also loves his baby sister and is very kind and caring towards her. The reason he didn't mix much before this was that I was very ill when pg with DD and we could not go anywhere other than hospital. So, it isn't what I "chose" but it is absolutely fine.

I'm going back 3 days and trying to work out whether to convince hubby to go part time to 2 days a week (hence covering my 3 days) or whether to have him do 2 full days and 2 half days - hence putting little one into nursery 2 half days. At least that way he at least shows his face at work 4 days. But he keeps asking me if its better for little one to just be with him for full 3 days rather than spending 2 half days at nursery and I can't decide......

Anyway, in answer to your question, I believe the answer is 3. This is why the govt. gives nursery vouchers (may be wrong name, mine are still under 3) once child reaches 3 as it is then deemed beneficial for them to mix in a nursery or similar setting.

I think if you are sending purely for socialising reasons then from about 2 and a half is a good age. Obviously it depends on the child and some are not ready until later and some get on fine a bit younger.

At 10 months there is no need to send to nursery just to socialise and learn to share.

RTJ - you would need to convince dh to work part time?!!! my dh would love to do that!!

I did not send any of my children to nursery before the age of 2 - and it was not too late!

DD went to nursery at 9 months because I had to work. Little problem settling in. She is now 3 and goes to the same nursery -loves it. In hindsight I dont think she really benefited from the social aspect of nursery until close to 2. However, I also dont beleive she has suffered in any way for going to nursery from an early age.

Thanks very much for your advice - really helpful.

Has anyone had any personal experience of DH being main carer? Has it worked?? Bit worried that my DH will feel daft surrounded by lots of yummy mummys at playgroups!

I think the mummies would make sure he was allright, he would be novelty though !
I waited til my girls were funded, so just over 3, to go to nursery, and before that they came to baby and toddler groups with me. I am a cm though, so they have been constantly surrounded by other kids.
I will wait til 3 with ds too, he is 17 mo now, and I think a year of nursery is adequate to prepare them for school.
If you have to go back to work though, you could visit both cms and nurseries to see what would suit your child at that age ?

IME, there is always one dad at every toddler group. I remember one really boring bloke I suffered listening just because he was a bloke, and I didn't want him to feel left out.

I think 3 is the ideal age for chldren generally. (personally, and from what I read from people who know what they are talking about)

I sent mine at 2.9, 3, and 2.3

My DH is a murder detective so hopefully he won't be boring!!

I prefer childminders for under 2s as it's more of a "home environment" then nursery for 2+ when they can enjoy the messy rooms, big toys you probably don't have at home etc.

Personally I think it's really important for men, if at all possible, to spend time with their kids without their partners around so I'd for for the "leave him at home with DH" option in your shoes. My DH has never been a SAHD but he has done things like take all three (including 14 month old DD) on DS1s rugby tour for a week, or spend the weekend with them on his own when I've been away with girlfriends. Domestic standards might slip but the strengthened relationships are worth it.