Settling into Nursery - how flexible can it be?

[FunnyOrca]

Hello,

I am hoping to hear from anyone who works in a nursery or who has maybe asked for a similar accommodation.

My 12 month old is settling into Nursery. The stay and plays (some with me, some with dad) have been FAB, as in, she’s trying to get back in as we leave! This filled me with such confidence… 😬

She had her first time alone today. The Nursery took her off dad at the door and we said and short, sharp goodbye. They called after 30 minutes to collect. As we approached I could hear her screaming like I had never heard her scream before. It was really awful. Worse than vaccines or a blood test.

The Nursery staff were being wonderful, but it was clear she had also really distressed the other children. They suggested the next two settles also only be 30 minutes.

my questions are:

1. Have you seen improvement in a second settle following this as the first? (Will she be ok going back?)
2. Do you think it would be overstepping to ask the Nursery if I could go in with her, and leave once she’s engaged? In the stay and plays this was literally 1 or 2 minutes.

I have 3 kids and none of mine went to a nursery they all went to a childminder but all of them found it hard to start with but as time went on it got easier and they were excited to be going in
From one mum to another - be guided by the setting and If they say 30 mins, go with their advice, they’ll have had this before.
it’s really hard and emotional but it does get better I promise.

Awr bless her!

Honestly, you going in with her isn’t going to help. She needs to learn you aren’t going to be there.
We settled my DS and DD in over a week, making each day longer.

She is going to cry, and it will last afew weeks until she’s properly settled.
its how she is once she’s calm and settled in the room.

it does take time, it’s really hard. My DD is now 2.5 and doesn’t even say bye or look at me she runs in.

With my DC's nursery, one you always went in and dropped at the classroom. The other you went and dropped inside until DC felt comfortable being left at the door. Other than a short phase at 3 for my eldest, neither was ever upset at drop off. I would ask nursery about doing what you have suggested as it may work.

Talk to the nursery, I know some that allow parents in to help settle and others don't.
We did a slow transition for our second, building up from 30 minutes to a few hours before doing half days then full days.
It helped a lot and he's so much more settled than my first was at this age, with my first we did basically full days from the beginning.