Child sent home in wet pants

[RosyPoesy]

DS 3yo came home from nursery with urine soaked trousers. The wetness wasn’t visible on the fabric but was obvious when touched. I complained and nursery said he’s very independent and refuses to let them help with toilet because he wants to do it himself. They also said he should have told someone he was wet. Ok fair enough if he wants to use the toilet by himself, but shouldn’t they be checking afterwards that he’s clean?

Not at 3 years old with a child toileting independently, unfortunately. If it wasn’t visible and he didn’t say anything it’s not really appropriate for staff to look into the children’s pants for accidents. He needs to learn to tell his key worker he needs changed, can be something you say to his key worker you’re encouraging him to do.

When did you realise? They probably have 20 + children to manage. They can't really touch them all to check if they're wet!

No, they won't physically check every 3 year old's trousers if they are going to the toilet independently.

You wanted a nursery worker to look in his pants/feel between his legs just in case he's wet?

If it's a regular problem then you and the nursery need to work together to get him to understand he either needs to accept help or alert someone if he's wet.

If it's a one off I wouldn't worry about it.

Perhaps send him in trousers where it's easier to tell if he's wet for a few weeks?

Work on giving him the confidence to tell an adult he's wet. They can't go round feeling every childs trousers if he were in a school nursery he would be one of 30 3 year olds using a toilet independently unless they ask for help or obviously soiled.