3 weeks and still not settled.

[Lottiebugz22]

Hi everyone.

My 2 year old daughter does 3 mornings of nursery a week 5 hour sessions. She's going upset, not eating and coming home upset. She's not sleeping at night anymore and has developed separation anxiety. AIBU to think things should have improved by now? I tell the nursery to ring me and I will come and collect her if she hasn't settled but they never ring so I assume things are okay. Should I be trying a different nursery or pulling her out completely? I'm also pregnant and it's causing me allot of stress and upset.

Its still early days so she will still be settling in. Every child is different in how they settle in but it is normal for children to take a little time to settle. She may also be picking up on you being upset and stressed. I wouldn't pull her out as she is still settling in. You could maybe send her in with a family photograph book or a comforter that smells of you.

It can take two year olds a little while to settle fully. We have a little one who will come in crying, have a great day and then start crying again near home time as they are anticipating being collected and thinking about mum again. However for the parent they are only seeing the unsettled bit and not the fun they are having during the session.

If they aren’t already doing so ask the nursery to send some photos of what she is doing in the day, hopefully you’ll get a better picture of how settled they are mid session.

Three weeks isn’t very long and it is common for some children to take a little while. Photos of home and to give the staff talking points with her can be helpful.

3 weeks is a really short time period. Are you up beat when you drop her off. Talk about how excited she must be. Give staff ideas of the things she likes to do. Do you walk or drive? May be come up with a special game you play on the way to nursery. If she goes home early then all she will learn is that if she crys and gets upset then you will come and get her. 3 weeks really isn't long enough

Some children do just take a little longer to settle
I wouldn’t worry too much about not eating, she’s only there for the morning and can eat at home. She will eat when she is more settled
Children who go in upset usually do go home upset too, but most have been absolutely fine for the session. It’s just that going home makes them remember they were upset coming in and it triggers the same emotional response
3 weeks isn’t really that long and most children do settle after a while
In the meantime, try not to show your own anxiety, keep all discussions about nursery positive and keep drop offs very quick and positive