Biting

[PenelopeWaterMelon]

My 11 month old son has been bitten very badly on the face by another child at his nursery. This is the 4th incident by this particular child! I don't know how frequent these incidents are, who else was bitten or who the biter is. I feel the bite to the face is particularly nasty (please see the photo). I know it's difficult to be the parent of a biter. However, I am still angry that this happened. Am I being unreasonable to assume that what ever measures have been put in place are not working. And demand further action?

No absolutely not 4 times and bitten on the face is horrible for your child to have to experience.

DD got bitten twice while in the baby room (same child), I told myself if it happened again I would probably demand that the biter is moved rooms/ supervised at all times of asked to leave (if they even do that..) otherwise I’d be finding another nursery. Luckily it didn’t happen again and after about 18 months there have been no more incidents.

I would call the nursery tomorrow and talk to the manager straight away.

Hope you’re son is okay.

Thank you! I got in touch with the nursery today but the manager was on leave. I kept my baby at home today. I will have a conversation with the manager tomorrow as right now I feel like the sensitivities around the biter are being looked after more than the safety of my child. My son still has bite marks on his cheek, and they are clearly from a seasoned and experienced biter. A bite on the face is more serious than a bite to the arm or leg. I feel devastated.

Your poor boy. Biting is a horrible stage that some children go through. There is usually an underlying factor for example frustration, teething, I have been in a situation where a child bit 7 other children in 1 session. It was awful we all felt awful, the parents were mortified. We had one member of staff 1-2-1 with the child but it just happened so quickly and without warning. It became a real problem. It has now been resolved as the child got older. The nursery can't tell you any other details about other children in case of a backlash against the child or parents. You are perfectly within your rights to ask if they have a policy on biting and how they are dealing with it. It is a horrible stage to be on the receiving end of and often children do copy others. I understand how hard it must be for you.

Biting is a common stage and more children do it than you might expect. There is a good chance the staff are already shadowing the child as much as is practicable as they don’t want the other children harmed either. Biters tend to do it quickly and without an obvious trigger which make it hard for adults to predict when it will occur and it’s generally when you are distracted by another child for a moment.

There is no harm in having a chat with the manager and seeing what is being put in place, they are likely doing what they can. Babies don’t bite for malicious reasons, it tends to be a sensory or communication need, or because they are curious at the reactions other children have and are exploring a cause and effect situation. However your child needs to be kept safe from the other child so see how the nursery intend to do this. It is horrible and alarming seeing the bite marks.

Have a chat when the manager returns I'm sure she'd appreciate you speaking with her over your concerns.

4 times is much too much. They should be on a ratio of 1 adult to 3 babies so should be capable of supervising the biter so this doesn't happen.

It's not the baby that is biting that is the problem here, it is shoddy management/practice in the nursery. I'd focus on that, not the other baby. Why are they failing to keep your child safe?