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Nursery issue advice wanted
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DaughtersDaddy · 24/11/2019 22:08

Hi all,

My daughter started nursery going 2 afternoons a week since she was 11 months old. Is now 2 years old and has never settled. She always cries being brought there. When asked if she wants to go to nursery she will get upset and say 'No I want to stay with mummy/daddy'.

She is our first so we assumed this is normal. Plus we have assumed the fact she doesn't go that often could be part of the reason she is taking so long to settle.

On the flip side though she very happily goes to our friends and family when they take care of her often waving 'bye bye' to us. She is also generally happy to go to the childcare that our church has on a Sunday during the service. She is also generally an outgoing, happy, chatty, strong-minded little girl.

On another side note, we have decided to pull her out of nursery because after over a year of her getting upset at it and nursery being the one thing that seems to upset her the most we'd had enough and decided to give her a break.

However today something worrying happened. I was asking her if she's excited to go to nursery tomorrow. She responded upset and saying 'No I want to stay with Daddy' which has been normal. But I inquired more as to why she doesn't want to go and asked 'Are your teachers nice?' and she responded (in her broken toddler English):

'No, bang on my face and say naughty'. (whilst actioning being hit on the face)

My wife and I looked at eachother gobsmacked. Hitting on the face isn't something she would be familiar with, especially not as a result of being naughty. We don't hit her at all when she's been naughty.

So we're very concerned now, but feeling mixed because she is 2 and perhaps doesn't entirely understand what she's saying?

As I said, she is leaving the nursery already but should we be reporting this to at least the head of the nursery? Has anyone a similar experience they could share?

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Alicealicewhothe · 24/11/2019 22:15

I would definately report to the nursery manager about this and contact your local authority safeguarding designated officer (LADO). It may sound extreme to do this but what if the staff are doing this to children. Only recently in the news we heard of a woman working in a nursery abusing children. The LADOs job is to investigate all allegations in a fair and safe way. If an investigation happens and staff are not doing this - then all will be fine. Any good nursery will have no qualms about letting LADO investigate.

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Bluerussian · 24/11/2019 22:45

Get her out of that nursery, same thing happened to mine aged 2. I did believe and took him away from there. Years and years later he can still remember a staff member smacking him.

It's dreadful.

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Louise91417 · 24/11/2019 22:54

By all means report this but going to the nursery itself be prepared for them to close ranks..id be reporting to the nurserys governing body. I dont think a 2 year old could make something like this up..

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Thefaceofboe · 27/11/2019 20:16

I would mention to the nursery 100% but don’t go in all guns blazing, children do come out with funny things. I’m a nursery practitioner and I asked a child today to stop hitting me. Another child repeated ‘stop hitting me, ***’ and said my name. I explained to her mum just incase she repeated it at home!

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MadeForThis · 27/11/2019 20:21

It could be that another child hit her in the face and the nursery worker told that child off for being naughty.

But I would definitely report it to the manager. If they weren't receptive or couldn't offer an explanation I would report to ofsted. Or through the relevant route.

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MadeForThis · 27/11/2019 20:22

Children that young don't make things like that up. It's came from somewhere.

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TheCatInAHat · 27/11/2019 20:28

At that age my DD said her key worker bit her. It was clear from the bite mark that it had been done by another child. I wouldn’t rush to conclusions.

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LynetteScavo · 27/11/2019 20:55

I wouldn't rush to conclusions, but I couldn't send her back for even one more session.

I would definitely report.

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Chrissyho · 04/12/2019 14:45

Are there any cameras at the nursery? Maybe it is something you need to look more closely into. Do not dismiss your child and take it very seriously. You just scared the s.,.t out of me, as my 9 months old is starting 2 afternoons a week in January.

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bloodywhitecat · 04/12/2019 14:54

I'd want it investigated further. I have worked with children for years and a child once went home and reported that I had been hitting an child which was true, I had. (I hit the child because they were choking on a boiled sweet and had a whole room full of witnesses)

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jannier · 06/12/2019 21:34

I wouldn't say 2 year olds dont make things up a friend was accused of doing something whilst driving by a 2 year old she didn't have a car that day and was at a group with a childcare development worker before walking to school accompanied by 2 other minders.
I'd remove a child who hadn't settled in a few months

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