Moving rooms - mums anxiety?

[MinnieMouseMaze]

Hi there. I'm hoping anyone can give me advice and tell me whether I am being silly or not.

My LO joined nursery at about 21 months so we decided to keep him in the middle room as moving from babies after only a few months would be disruptive I felt. So in that case LO has been in the same room for quite a while now and turns 3 early next year. I've noticed recently a lot of LO close friends, whom they talk about at home ALL the time, have moved up to the big room. LO is only 3 months younger but had not been moved. This has upset me because LO is now left with quite a lot of 'babies', there are one or maybe two max that are still his age but not always the same day etc and in the main most are younger.

Nursery can't understand why I am annoyed at this and why moving him around Easter next year feels unfair to me. The room is full apparently and they can't move until 3 anyway but I know for sure one of the kids moved isn't three till next month. They explained that the younger of the children moved isn't challenged enough in the middle room and I can't help but feel that even at 2 and 3/4 decisions are being made about whether my child is good enough or not.

Probably being unreasonable and over anxious but this has really got to me. I feel so sad that his main friends are gone for a good few months at least.

Tbh I think you are being over sensitive about this . It is only a few months till he moves rooms and he will have other friends in the room he is in now.

That's just it @user1483387154 LO doesn't really. Since September and people moved to school there has been a huge influx from the little room hence the 'babies'. A lot who Id never seen before. I think it would have been fairer to move them as a group together rather than leave one behind who has essentially been in there the longest?

I can understand your worry but I think you are overreacting a bit here. The nursery have filled the spaces in the next room with the oldest children. 3 months is quite a big difference at this age and it sounds like only one child has been moved 'young'.

Maybe chat to nursery and discuss how they will support him with friendships and what are their reasons for waiting until Easter (space v readiness). They might agree to reconsider sooner if its a readiness issue, trickier if its a space issue. Are there any options for mixing with the bigger ones e.g. outside, end of day?

@BendingSpoons thanks that's a good suggestion. Will discuss it with them. I really don't think they got why I was annoyed. I almost wish they'd just mentioned it was happening so I could have talk to LO about it. It was LO that told me and that really got to me.

Is your little man still happy and content going in? The same thing happened with my little one and at the time shared the same concerns as you. But she actually enjoyed that she was one of the older ones helping the younger ones and developed other key skills e.g. compassion to others and resilience making new friends

It’s also possible that the child who hasn’t turned three yet was moved because they thought he’d be a danger to the babies / younger toddlers. Violent kids often do get moved out of baby rooms a bit quicker than good kids. You need to arrange a meeting with the nursery to get to the bottom of it really.

Thanks all will do- have a meeting planned next week but all good suggestions and glad to hear I am not the only one to have felt this way.

We tend to move children up the term or half term after their birthday. So those born this side of September will go up a room in Jan. Those born between Jan onwards will move up either half term or Easter depending on the children.

Moving younger children into the next room before they are three depends on ratio and staffing in the rooms too. The one that has moved up at two now may have knocked up the ratio quota for now.

By staying where they are your child will gain confidence through being one of the oldest. There could be strong characters in the older room who are already 4.5 years and your child may get lost. There are a lot of reasons that children get moved or stay put and all of them are to benefit the development of the child. Perhaps he was being dominated by one of his friends - for example they always led the play and a bit of time without those playmates could help develop his confidence in choosing his own play. He may also be a bit young for the more structured approach a preschool room has compared to the toddler rooms. The staff will know best when it comes to this decision and you should be able to trust they will do what is right for your child.