Nursery not following our routine

[SG74]

Have had 10m old in nursery a few afternoons a week for last six weeks, she loves it. Transitioning to full time before going back to work, started last week. Nursery advised they would follow our routine for baby when we first went in but are completely ignoring our routine. Spoke to them during week but lady who runs baby room seems to have no interest. Any advice? Are we expecting too much? Baby normally sleeps 9-930am, 12-2 and a short nap at 4. Baby normally happy all the time but have had meltdowns this weekend and no sleep as routine has been thrown out the window.

Are they ignoring it or is your baby acting differently at nursery? Dc1 was too interested in the activities at nursery to stick to his at home routine. He adjusted to a new routine in a couple of weeks though.

As Zebra says perhaps your child is distracted by the newness of nursery at the momemt?

Or perhaps the nursery have 1 routine for all the children of that age group (set times for lunch/nap/play/snack/music/going out etc otherwise every child will be doing different and the staff find it easier to have just one lunch time etc.

The thing with routines as anyone with one or more baby/toddler to look after is that they often go out the window a bit when you have more than one child to care for. A busy nursery environment will stimulate your child. I would definitely expect them to have a proper nap after lunch and the opportunity to doze when tired at other times.

Your baby maybe disturbed because they are starting a whole new way of life. I would see how it goes.

Personally I found childminders much better than nursery, once they’d done the school run they only had up to 3 kids to care for. It’s also a home from home. They tend to be parents themselves as not all nursery workers have their own children, which means they’ll understand and empathise more how a baby can get overstimulated and be a nightmare at bedtime. They have probably lived that hell themselves.

It depends on what your child is like.

I'm a nursery nurse and have previously worked in a baby room for years, we always follow baby's routines and follow the parents wishes. When the baby first starts nursery we write down their routine and put it up on display so all staff in the room know and can follow the routine 😊 obviously sometimes being at nursery can change the baby's routine naturally because of the change of environment, noise, new carers etc. In my opinion they should be trying their hardest to follow your DC routine and respect your wishes.

Thanks Lozzy25

We wrote out and emailed and gave them a printed copy of routine. The head of the baby room is completely uninterested in even trying to follow it telling me most parents just give them babies and leave the routine up to the baby room to sort out. I softly said that wasn't 'us'. Office at nursery has spoken to baby room team but I fear it is falling on dead ears.

I appreciate they are 1 to 3 babies and it won't be perfect but we were told when we first visited they would follow our routine. I appreciate for perfect routine follow we would need a nanny which I don't want as want social interaction of nursery.

Baby loves her routine and is very happy and gaining weight well, she was premature so that is very important.

We are central London and not many child minder options. Facilities at the nursery are great and is close to home but am not willing to throw routine out window and have grumpy baby that doesn't sleep at night because nursery don't want to follow our routine.

Thanks for thoughts everyone.

They can’t force your baby to sleep if she doesn’t want to. It’s perfectly normal for routine to go out the window when starting nursery where they already have an established routine and the baby has Logan if interesting things to see and do. It is also very normal for the baby to be tired and grumpy for the first few weeks while a new routine is established and a new normal found. Your baby is also coming to the age where nap times change anyway as they get older and more mobile and naps get dropped and missed because playing is tooo much fun.

They should be following your routine as far as possible. However I’ve found a lot of our parents say their baby sleeps longer at home than they do with us. It’s noisier and there’s more going on at nursery so it can make it harder for them to settle in the early days but they will soon get used to the nursery environment and won’t be so over stimulated which will mean baby will settle better at night again.