13 month old just started nursery

[totatola]

My 13 month old DS had 3 settling in sessions at nursery last week before he is due to start full days on Wednesday. His settling in sessions were just for the morning and then I had to collect him after lunch each day as they couldn’t get him to eat anything and really struggled to get him to have his morning nap (managed to get him to nap for 20 mins on 2 out of 3 mornings).

I spoke to nursery on Friday and explained that I was concerned about leaving him for a full day on Wednesday when he’s barely eating/sleeping when he’s there and they’ve agreed that I can take him in for 2 more settling in sessions on Monday/Tuesday this week.

Just wondering if anyone’s got any tips? At home he self settles for naps beautifully so I’m not quite sure what to suggest they do at nursery when they can’t get him down for a nap. They do a lot of patting/stroking which I actually think might be overstimulating for him! He’s in a sleeping bag just like he is at home but I think he struggles with the distractions around him.

At mealtimes I’ve suggested more finger food as he doesn’t always like people spoon feeding him but it doesn’t sound like they are well prepared for this.

Any advice pls?

Can you send in a lunch for him on Monday, to see if he would eat his normal food? Otherwise, he's probably just adapting to all the different sounds and stimulation.

I think you just need to leave them to it as they need to work it out for themselves. And your son will adapt over time. When my then one year old we did half days to start with, but I actually think if we had done full days he would have settled quicker.

Nursery wont take external foods.tell them ehat methods you use to help him sleep so that they can adapt. But overall i agree as above. They will find there own way and so will your little one.

In my experience parents expect their child to behave exactly the same at nursery as they do at home. It simply doesn’t work like that. I would leave them to it (there is no risk to your child) and let them find their own routine. His days at nursery will be different to his days at home, but that’s totally normal

Maybe he would be better off just having an after lunch nap?

For for first few weeks it would be handy if you collected him slightly early (4:30/5:00). Many new children start getting emotional when they see other Mums and Dads picking up their children.

At 13 months many children transition to one nap a day and with the extra going on its very likely to happen more at nursery until you leave him to after lunch you wont know if he sleeps....and 3 sessions is very quick to decide.

The food - well you want him to eat normal foods presumably so in time he will, if hes hungry he will, but like me Im sure if he knows you will e along to give him something he likes more why would he eat new foods? That's a learning curve too - although at 13 months I would be leaving lo a spoon to try self feeding while popping in the occasional mouth from my spoon does he attempt self feeding at home? most 13 to 16 months will totally self feed, messily but they do it.

With the sleep I think you probably just have to keep at it: it will click eventually. DS2 started nursery at 9 months and for the first month or so absolutely refused to sleep more than 15 minutes. So he'd have 30 mins total between 7.30 and 6. Eventually he adjusted and shifted to two proper length (1hr + naps). He's now 18 months and usually has to be woken after a couple of hours.