Any tips on how to deal with this

[ohnonotthemilk]

DC1 3.5 started at a new nursery a month ago, it's got great reviews and lots of people recommended it. Before that she had done a couple of sessions a week at a forest school. dc is quite shy and has struggled with toilet training. She has good days but struggles with wanting to go when prompted and then asking in time to not have an accident. Nursery have been fine with this and their are others in her class who are in nappies/ are still training. That is until today. Mil picked her up and could see that she was soaked in urine - down to her socks as soon as she got there. She had also had a poo which seemed to have been there for a while too. Mil changed her and left, nursery staff told her that she had also had two earlier accidents. She had also poured/ spilt her lunch (soup) down her and despite having spare clothes wasn't changed. Mil is apoplectic and saying this must have been deliberate / lack of care - I am concerned too of course but can perhaps see how it could happen in a busy nursery especially if she doesn't speak up- thoughts ?

I personally would go crazy. If the nursery is that busy that they can’t change a child then they need more staff or to accept less children. Poor thing

Poor little one. My daughter has been at nursery since she was 10 months. I'm ok with the dirty clothes from play / food / fun but not being changed after an accident isn't acceptable. I would be having a word with her keyworker or room leader. The ratio of adults to children means they should always notice stuff like that.

I find it hard to believe nursery would just leave her dirty because Rhett can’t be bothered. For one it stinks the room out, plus obviously other children and parents are going to notice. More
Likely she went into quiet corner or sat at a table and did it. Rather than walking around soaking wet and every adult there decided to ignore it.

Thanks for replies, and sorry if I wasn't clear, other than the mess MIL says she was in, I have no evidence that she was ignored and like Akire, I wonder if she had done it whilst sitting down which meant it quietly spread and was only clear when she stood up.