Still crying at drop off :(

[Chosenbyyou]

Hi

Wondering if you could offer me advice. My DD has being going nursery since she was 7 months and is now 2.4y and has always gone two days a week. The other days she is looked after by me, DH and Gps one day each.

Problem is she cries every single time she is dropped off. She has not cried twice in the whole time. She is really happy there and has a bff who she loves. At pick up she is really happy and if I hang around I can hear she has stopped crying within minutes.

Is this ever going to stop? When I do drop off it really puts a damper on my day and same with DH. Do you have any suggestions what we could say/do - she has very good understanding and verbal comms so I have tried talking to her lots but she has always cried.

We have tried dropping her late and early but neither make a difference.

Any ideas would be helpful!! Thank you xx

How long do you stay around?

I am a nanny but also have worked in nurseries - and in fact am doing so now.

I often notice parents lingering, taking their time to leave etc or trying to stay and settle their child and often this isn't the best option. I think a child benefits from a quick succinct drop off, where they know that Mummy will hang up their coat, give them a kiss and leave. When they receive a mixed message that if they cry Mummy will stay longer, will try allsorts of different distracting techniques, or that Mummy hangs around watching them within the room/within reach they don't calm down as they obviously want their parent.

This morning 1 toddler got visibly upset at drop off; tears, howling etc and it didn't abate no matter what Mummy did - give her a new toy, offer her breakfast, check her temperature, talk about her day or while watched through the playroom window, however as soon as Mummy left the toddler stopped, looked around - found herself a cup and bowl then came over for breakfast like nothing had happened.

My DS does this too (also 2 days a week for the past year). I know he has a great day, and I'm told the crying stops very quickly. I don't know that you can do anything to stop it, but if you know she is happy, try not to feel guilty about it and let it ruin your day. It will stop eventually. I just feel it's part of our routine now strangely, and has become a habit, but he's not upset for long.

I can sympathise with you. My dd has been in nursery since being 12 months old and she is now 16 months. She also attends 2 days, she cries most of the time when I leave her. I read somewhere that the best thing to do is to give them a kiss, smile and cheerliy say goodbye. It can make things worse for them if they can sense you are also distressed. I do this at every drop off, and the staff say she settles very quickly after I leave.

Thank you for your responses most helpful. I will def try for a more swift drop off from now on and well mention to DH for his days. You are probably right that I am not helping by over talking it which I do when o get stressed!

Thanks once again xx

Talk about something else as you're walking in (i.e. Look at that lovely pink car), then quick drop off with a cheery have a nice day and leave.