Nursery, what age?

[EthanDC]

I'm wondering if sending my unborn son, due in July,to nursery early will be beneficial. My DP won't be working so I would only do so if it's better.

I have heard it can help them develop in a number of ways.

Please help with your experiences & advice.

Thanks in advance :)

How early?

I am a sahm and wouldn't consider putting my kids in preschool until they are 3, and even then only if they actually enjoy it.

Friends who use nurseries just seem to have to deal with a constant stream of illnesses for the first year. When ds went to preschool I was braced for this, but he only caught chicken pox... all the colds and viruses were brought home by dp from work!

Around age 2.5 to age 3. I would not use a pre-school/nursery before then unless you require childcare, rather than early education.

There are lots of opportunities whilst being home based. Going out and about, going to baby/toddler groups, meeting with other local parents with similar aged children, parks/playgrounds, going swimming.

There is no real benefit unless your partner aren't taking the child out to experience different things! Dads don't usually like baby and toddler groups because they are places dominated by mums. But once they are old enough for on their own classes you will see many dads doing them even on week days. Things like gymnastics, ballet, etc.

If he is not into chit chat with mums, there are parks and playgrounds. And the more activities oriented group. Like forest stories, library story time etc.

Also from 3 they get support to attend preschool.

The benefit to attending a day or two half days early is so he can have a little break to get things like haircuts done. Or a bit of me time.

There is no benefit to the CHILD until about 3 years but if you feel there would be benefit to you (for a break or to go back to work etc) then you musnt feel guilty about it

Sorry to say but even if I did stay at home I would send my child to nursery for at least a couple of days from 12 months.

The benefits I have seen out way the problems of illness etc. I really struggled sending my DD but she absolutely loves it now.

But this is a difficult and emotive subject. Bit like childbirth! What works for one won't work for another.

Follow your gut!

My little one (20 months) goes to nursery 2 days a week and absolutely loves it. She runs in and loves to play with the other children. She is an only child and I work so have no choice. It wasnt untill she was about 17 months that she really settled. I notice a difference with her, she learns a lot at nursery but its a great earthy type of nursery with lots of animals and outdoor space. If i stopped work and could afford it i would still send her 1 day a week or 2 x afternoons at least as she loves it.

Thank you for your replies.

I am the father & I would really love doing things with my son!

It's not about childcare, more about socialisation & early education.

It's no problem for newborn to be with either my partner or I. We like to do things & will be a pleasure taking unborn son to all different places to stimulate him.

So the general idea is around 2-3 years old? That's fine, I was just checking. Do any of you use a playgroup, from what age do you start & how do you find it?

Sorry I'm a concerned dad, I want the best for my son & I find the information on here so valuable. I've been reading posts since my partner & I started trying for a baby & recently signed up.

Thank you again for all the support :)

Both mine went to nursery when I had to go back to work. So around 1. We were lucky in that we live near excellent nurseries that we could afford to use. However, I now work in nursery setting and I have to say if you don't need to do it then hold off and go for around 2.6 and only for a a few hours a day or a couple of full days you will reap massive social rewards that nursery can bring to children around this point.

Both mine started when they got their free hours at age 3. You can go to baby/toddler groups before that for socialisation. My two did a baby/toddler gymnastics class that the parent participated in too.

Mine went two short days at about age 1. I think the lively one would have been a bit bored at home and it helped the shy one develop social skills. Thinking about all my dc cousins the one with the least social skills was the one who went to nursery aged 3 rather than as a baby- however dn perhaps developed other skills instead. I think it might be different if there were lots of young children of friends and family that your dc will be able to socialise with most days.

If by choice I wouldnt of sent my DD at 14 months old but work required it. Every child is different but mine certainly loves it now (21 months) and as as an only child/first child gets the interaction she needs. I also did classes some free some paid for. I found Baby signing good and she still does bits now, plus it give you something to do with your hands when singing endless nursery rhymes and songs plus a good place to meet other parents. Check out your local library's too they often do rattle and rhyme or simular and are a good place to meet people for free. Some friends did baby massage, yoga, sensory etc where they met other parents and made friends. Some other freinds did the NCT classes where you go with both parents generally and meet other first timers and learn how to look after the baby thats good if you want to meet other dads too. I think they normally pair you with others with a simular due date.

Ds was 7 months. At nearly 10 he's doing well at school. So are kids who stayed at home with their parents til much older.

Tbh I wouldn't if you don't need to. It's so bloody expensive

Depends on the child. Started sending my eldest aged about 2.5 for a couple of sessions a week, went very well. She was really ready, and this was having attended various playgroups etc beforehand. It meant that when she got her free hours, she was well used to being in a nursery setting. Will probably do the same with the younger one. It doesn't have to be particularly expensive either. By using vouchers, our six hours a week for the eldest cost about the same as her child benefit, including snacks, which was money well spent. Of course I understand that for some people this would be money they don't have, but it's within the grasp of a lot of families too.

However, not all children enjoy or benefit from nursery. That's also quite normal. You play it by ear.

DD has been going to nursery since she was 5 months old (DP and I were both students and she was born at the start of the summer break so she went into nursery in the September).

She'll be two next week and she absolutely loves going to nursery, always has done. We've had very little separation anxiety, very few illnesses (no pox/scarlet fever/other scary contagious ones, just one cold and one tummy bug), she's developmentally ahead for her age, very sociable and happy and really benefits from the interaction with other toddlers - especially as our friends aren't having babies yet, so she wouldn't have anyone to play with if she wasn't at nursery. She's forever saying her friends' names when she comes home I got criticised for putting her in nursery at a young age but I have zero regrets.

It isn't for every child, but you have to give it a while before you can really tell if it'll suit them or not.

I think it really depends on circumstances, nurseries can be beneficial from any age. Children from 6 month upwards can be very happy there

If money was no object, then i say why not give it a go and see if they like it / benefit from it.

My DS went from 8 months old for 3 days a week as I had to go back to work and within a couple of weeks he had become more confident, outgoing and social (as much as an 8 month old can). You could see a change in him. 2 years later and he is full time and loves it, I can't get him to leave at the end of the day!! He loves it there, is happy and friendly and we have had little illness other than colds (which he usually then passes on to me...! thats the worst bit)

but at £1000+ a month its a pricey

DC2 due in July, and I am already down on the list for them to go to the same nursery at 7 / 8 months - no hesitation.

I have zero guilt / regrets about him going from 8 months old and wouldn't change a thing. I LOVE his nursery and the ladies there.

We also do loads on the weekends but its great for him to have his own little friendship group and great relationships with his key workers - every day before we leave he has to go in to the "baby" room to say goodbye to his first ever key worker and talks about all his friends and what he did that day.

My DS has been at nursery part time since 3.5 months, and is already, at 2.5 much more gregarious than I am in my 30s. When he was tiny, he loved watching the older children. Now he is bigger they have a huge range of fun activities to do, and he loves it, and gets to do things I would never have thought to do with him (most notably visit from a snake, lizard and spider specialist).

I think it very much depends on the nursery though. Ours is small and family run. I looked round several which were run by chains and had great facilities but felt soulless. My ideal would be 3 days of nursery from 6 months to school age. Sadly that didn't/doesn't work for us work wise though.

DD started with a childminder at 8m because I had to go back to work, and stayed with a CM until she was 3.5.

She moved to a nursery then and I have to say, the change in her has been amazing. She's learning, and absorbing things like a sponge, and all much more than how she did with the CM. For some children that slow introduction to learning can really make all the difference, and she went within a month from not holding a pen properly, not writing and not drawing much to writing, drawing and knowing her alphabet.

I went back to work so DD had no choice but I would say from about 2ish there was visible effects - she's got good manners which I can't take credit for, she has proper little buddies which is lovely, and she knows shapes and her alphabet, neither of which we've taught her!

The first year she was there I'm not sure how much she got out of it. They did loads of things like painting and messy play that I wouldn't do at home but does that matter to a 1yo? However, they did teach her how to do a monkey impression which is hilarious and made the fees worth every penny

My dd went half day a week from 5 months to give me a break, I got no other help and was finding it hard. Do whatever feels right. She enjoyed it and it made going back to work easier as she was settl6

I'd say 2- 3.
I put mine in 2 days from 17 months as I work FT and she was ok. She. Started to really love it from just over 2.
It is good for some stuff and I would get one with well trained staff so there is some structure.
She has learned a lot. For me the UK guidance on ratios is the key point. If there was a poor staff child ratio then I wouldnt have been so happy.
My observations were that girls settled in better at an earlier age than boys.