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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Don't trust nursery sorry long post

25 replies

BooshFan · 02/03/2016 19:02

My 3 1/2 yr old attends a private nursery attached to a steiner school, when I first started him they assured me they were separate & the steiner side didn't kick in until kindergarten so viewed the nursery as just a nice homely place & son soon settled. They have had numerous difficulties as alot of staff left end of last yr & manager went off for an op for 3 months was a very unsettled time for my son, when manager returned she really started pushing for my son to be moved up to kindergarten & after a visit decided it wasn't right for us but nursery originally assured me they take up to 5yrs. Since then I feel my son has been picked on by manager as he's now too big for them she wants an easier time with the little ones, she makes wild remarks about him & has punished him for normal toddler behaviour like not washing hands etc by taking snacks away other staff say they have no problem with sons behaviour. I have started to suspect they are sending him to the kindergarten after I drop off as twice now his clothes been left around there & he's been talking about the older children. I am really upset as I didn't want to take him down the steiner path & goes against my direct wishes, what shall I do? I feel this is a serious breach of trust

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

outputgap · 02/03/2016 19:06

How long do you have before he goes to Reception?

I would try to move him regardless. You've lost trust in the nursery, I doubt it will be resolved to your satisfaction, and if you think the manager is picking on your child, it's time to leg it asap.

Original poster

BooshFan · 02/03/2016 19:16

Hi thanks for the reply he should start regular pre school this September, I think your right as I will find it hard on balance to trust them again after all what's happened, she also restrained him to a chair because he knocked over some juice which she claims is not a big issue, I don't belive it's normal to strap a child that age to a chair

OP posts:

FoxesSitOnBoxes · 02/03/2016 19:21

Really? She strapped your child to a chair and yet you didn't think this worth mentioning in your first post..... I'm just trying to imagine how that could possibly have actually happened.

Lostmyemailaddress · 02/03/2016 19:24

As far as I am aware they are only allowed to restrain a child if they become a danger to themselves or others. I have 2dcs with special needs and if they have a meltdown that is the only time they get restrained and it has been this way since they started nursery/school. I have 1 dc in nursery now and she has never been restrained especially not for spilling a drink which it common for children.

If I was in your shoes I would be removing my child and reporting what as happened.

Buckinbronco · 02/03/2016 19:27

If someone restrained my child is have to call the police just to prevent myself beating them to death with said chair, to be honest.

Buckinbronco · 02/03/2016 19:27

*i would have to call the police

StitchesInTime · 02/03/2016 19:40

I would remove my child if I was in this position.

And the only reason a child should be restrained in a chair is if it's required for their safety. Not because they've been knocking juice over.

Original poster

BooshFan · 02/03/2016 19:44

Thanks everyone I only mentioned it afterwards as I am still not sure it was a genuine complaint as was told by nursery they are legally allowed to and I was making it out to be more of an issue than they thought it was. I did raise my concerns I was very explicit it must not happen again and instructed they call me if they feel he is too much and I'll come get him. It's really hard as a mum to judge what they are telling you as supposed professionals is right and what's overacting as a parent if you know what I mean?

OP posts:

outputgap · 02/03/2016 19:44

And report to Ofsted on your way out. That's disgraceful.

Lostmyemailaddress · 02/03/2016 19:53

Your not over reacting and the only time they are legally required to restrain a child is for safety for the child or if they are posing a safety risk to others or damaging property.
I'm on my phone but I have a link that states this if anyone can tell me how to post it.

Staff also have to be trained on how to restrain properly as there are only certain ways they are allowed to do so and strapping a child is not one of them.

Lostmyemailaddress · 02/03/2016 19:55

Op I've pmed you the link.

Original poster

BooshFan · 02/03/2016 19:59

Thank you so much this was very helpful as now I can confidently go in on Monday with facts, she cannot deny it happened as she WROTE it in his communication book! I am definitely giving notice now and putting in a complaint

OP posts:

TheLadyWithTheYellowHat · 02/03/2016 20:16

They have taken his food away and have strapped him to a chair? That is awful behaviour from a nursery, is there not anyone more superior to her that you can make a formal complaint to? My ds is a similar age and if his nursery did this I would be hopping mad! Id take him out straight away

TiggyD · 03/03/2016 21:08

Report to ofsted.

Using not food as a punishment.
Using restraining thing not as a safety method.
Taking a child out of agreed setting to put them in a different one.

Really not on.

AllChangeLife · 03/03/2016 21:11

Ofsted. Now.

That is wrong... Please pull your dc out now. Food should never be withheld and I'd have screamed blue murder if my child had been restrained to a chair.

Namechangeregular · 03/03/2016 21:12

keep the communication book and report to Ofsted. Does the book really state that the child was strapped to a chair?

AllChangeLife · 03/03/2016 21:12

Oh and they are lying to you too. They are sending him up to the kindergarten no doubt.

AllChangeLife · 03/03/2016 21:13

I wouldn't even go back to them to ask them to clarify. Pull dc out and straight to ofsted.

Pigeonpost · 03/03/2016 21:13

Holy shit, they strapped your child to a chair?!?? Definitely withdraw and Ofsted.

SirNiallDementia · 03/03/2016 21:19

OFSTED are going to take a very dim view of the strapping to a chair which the daft manager has actually given you written proof of by WRITING IT IN HIS BOOK!

My mind is boggled by why she would evidence this!

RandomMess · 03/03/2016 21:24

Are you actually in the UK?

Original poster

BooshFan · 04/03/2016 01:57

Hi sorry not checked this til today ladies I am in the UK & my post is a genuine query. I was informed by manager in person the day chair incident happened it was not only written in book & she has always maintained it was within her rights so I have no cause for complaint. I did approach her & other members of staff asking what led up to this & it was because son had spilt juice twice. Other members of staff have acknowledged manager is seemingly singling my child out & I have been trying to find alternative placement for him ever since, this all started end of January it has been escalating leading to the chair incident 2 weeks ago & the suspected taking him to other setting end of last week/this week. I was already keeping book out of bag as the whole situation just wasn't sitting right & I wanted to at least photocopy it incase she tried to retract anything & she had acted wrongly. I needed advice as to if this was normal for nurseries that's why started this thread, I am very greatful for your replies it has reassured me they are very wrong I am looking to involve OFSTED & my son will not be attending again.

OP posts:

FishWithABicycle · 04/03/2016 05:35

Sounds like a terrible place.

insancerre · 04/03/2016 06:21

The manager strapped a child to a chair because he spilt some juice!?!!!!???

Please report to ofsted and send them a copy of the proof

The manager needs removing from the nursery

I'm a nursery manager and yesterday I gave a member of staff a verbal warning for raising her voice to the children. If they had strapped a child to a chair I would be sacking them on the spot and ringing ofsted and the lado myself
Its really not on

RandomMess · 04/03/2016 13:47

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