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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Would you complain?

22 replies

MrsWhirling · 01/12/2015 13:53

It was my 3yr old son's first day at nursery yesterday, he has been given a part-time place at the nursery at my daughters primary school. He is not fully potty trained, but class teacher said it would be in pull-ups. My son only turned three last week and has never been left with anyone apart from me, DH or my parents. Anyway drop off was great, he was excited, said bye to me and ran off to play. I left an after an hour the school called to say I had to go get him as he has pood'd in his pull-up. When I got there 15minutes later, they had taken him to the outside area of the school office where he was sat on a chair alone. The receptionists sit in a separate room with a large window, if that makes sense. Anyway, he was distraught and when he saw me couldn't even cry. He looked tiny and scared. Surprise, surprise, this morning he refused to step into the room let alone stay. We have decided to defer his place until Jan when hopefully he is fully potty trained. I am angry with the school for taking him to the office like that. I spoke to the teacher and she just said: "I hope it hasn't put him off coming back in Jan" I wish I had said more :(

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SouthYarraYobbo · 01/12/2015 13:57

That sounds horrible OP, your poor DS. I wouldn't have thought nursery would take children that weren't potty trained but if that's the case they should have made it very clear to you.

Original poster

MrsWhirling · 01/12/2015 14:09

I called them the week before and explained that he was still not fully trained and the class teacher said it was fine in pull-ups but perhaps she thought he was more independent than he is. But it's the leaving him in the office part which has really upset me. My poor baby must have been so confused about what was going on :(

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NickNacks · 01/12/2015 14:13

Did you leave changing things? I wouldn't imagine they have the staff or space to change a nappy and that is why they called you.

Original poster

MrsWhirling · 01/12/2015 14:23

I have NO issue with them calling me, or was I expecting them to change him. I am upset and considering complaining because they took my three year old son and left him sitting in the eating area of the school office, on his first day. Surely he could have stayed in the nursery for 15minutes. He was wearing pull-up, he didn't soul his pants or trousers. He was terrified.

OP posts:

ButtonMoon88 · 01/12/2015 14:35

I think that's really wrong and I have never worked in a nursery where this would happen, calling a parent to change is one thing but deliberately singling him out is another. I would call back and let them know your feelings, but do it in a way that sounds like a suggestion so something along the lines of "my son felt really confused and upset as to why he was taken away from all his new friends perhaps in future children should remain in nursery room to wait so that they don't feel punished"

NickNacks · 01/12/2015 14:59

I'm sorry I skim read and missed your point in the op. Yes send it as a suggestion as pp recommended.

Original poster

MrsWhirling · 01/12/2015 15:01

Thanks, I will do. Feel quite strongly about it x

OP posts:

ButtonMoon88 · 01/12/2015 15:13

I don't blame you OP, good luck!

turquoisetoad · 01/12/2015 17:40

OP - I totally understand why you're upset on your son's behalf. I would definitely raise it as a concern. I work in a private nursery and children of your son's age regularly have accidents. We change them and get on with the day. It's no big deal and nor should it be!! As far as I'm concerned it's part and parcel of working with very young children. No child should be left sitting in their own poo... I just don't understand why school nursery's have such an issue with it? It seems wrong that he was made to sit in reception like that - your poor DS.

I would definitely put your concerns in writing (email?) as they need to think carefully about their 'inclusive' policies (i.e. including and not humiliating children who aren't fully toilet trained yet)...

HSMMaCM · 02/12/2015 11:40

They should have just changed his pull ups my DD would have loved to spend time in the office

TiggyD · 02/12/2015 19:00

It's childcare. The nursery are not capable of caring for children doing regular children stuff. They're shit.
A lot of school nurseries think they don't have to change nappies and even have no children in nappies policies. That's indirect discrimination against children with SEN.
Report them to ofsted.

Original poster

MrsWhirling · 02/12/2015 21:46

HSMMaCM - My son wasn't in the office, he was sat alone in the waiting area of the office I.e where visitors wait. He has just turned 3 and it was his first day. I doubt any child would have loved it!

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rollonthesummer · 02/12/2015 21:49

I can't believe they would do that to a 3 year old! I'd definitely say something-poor little lad :(

Original poster

MrsWhirling · 02/12/2015 21:57

He was so sad rollonthesummer, that when he saw me he could barely breathe or let out his cry. My poor baby, I feel so upset for him.

OP posts:

HSMMaCM · 02/12/2015 22:09

Sorry MrsWhirling, I didn't mean to suggest it could have been fun for any other child than mine. She's funny like that !

CultureSucksDownWords · 02/12/2015 22:17

My son is 3.5 and I would have been livid if he'd been treated like that. How can an organisation that claims to offer care for under 4s not be able to deal with such a common occurrence as this? Children have accidents, even ones that have been toilet trained for a while. The nursery staff should have the facilities and training to change him and carry on as normal. This probably happens daily at the nursery (private) my DS goes to. I hope your DS recovers from this and I wouldn't take him back there in January, I'd find somewhere more caring, and tell them that.

Littleonesaid · 02/12/2015 22:18

Your DS is the same age as mine and I'm almost in tears reading how scared he was; mine would have been too. Why on earth didn't they just change him, or at the very least get him to sit quietly in the class room?

I would want to know why the hell my 3YO had been left unsupervised in a strange environment, and to be sure that it didn't happen again. Poor little mite, I hope he's ok

CasualJersey · 02/12/2015 22:25

Oh OP that's awful!
Dd is 6 and wouldn't have liked that if she was in that position so I can only imagine how confused your little boy was.
I would certainly complain.
I find it baffling that school nurseries don't operate in the same vein as private in regards to nappies.
I would therefore consider whether this was the setting for my child even in Jan, as clearly their care isn't suitable.
I hope you get m answer.
Im sorry

Original poster

MrsWhirling · 03/12/2015 00:08

Thank you everyone for your replies xx

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Kelly3452 · 07/12/2015 22:15

Im really upset for you and your son reading this! Nursery is a big deal and that coukd stick in his head and cause you big problems later! My son started his nursery in april he was just 3 and not fully potty trained. We were told they wont change pull ups and so to put them in pants and send them with spares. My son wet himself alot his first term and was often changed when i picked him up. Im not sure about poo incidents but i cannot understand how they think leaving a child in their own poo while they wait for a parent to come is acceptable. Especially in the way they did! Its almost making him feel ashamed for it! I would be questioning the nursery alot over the incident! And would definatly defer his place if thats the say its going to be! Im so sorry youve had to deal with that! Poor baby!

Kelly3452 · 07/12/2015 22:17

To be fair if he was wearing a nappy what harm woukd it have done letting him continue to play in the nursery while you came its hardly unhygienic, plenty babies poo themselves in nappies at soft plays for 10/15mins b4 their parents notice! It just seems rediculas! And older toddler can still soil themselves even potty trained id be asking how the nursery deals with those incidents too!

abbsismyhero · 07/12/2015 22:20

my dd is 15 even back then they had a policy of not cleaning up poo they would encourage the child to do it themselves however and supervise accordingly its surprising how well this worked

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