Is nursery a good idea for a sensitive 14 month old

[peacefuloptimist]

Im going to start a new job soon and last minute they informed me that my days would be changed. I had previously arranged for my mum to have my 14 month old ds for the days I would be working (its part-time) but now my days have changed I need to find alternative childcare for him on one of those days as she is not available. Im torn between whether to put him in a nursery or find a childminder. I have two weeks to decide before I start and Im not at all sure what is the best option for him.

Some background on my son. He is quite sensitive; doesnt respond well to changes to his routine; is breast fed; is super clingy at the moment; likes being held and having lots of attention; hates having his nappy changed and is very active. My worry is that he will struggle in a nursery setting as he will be overwhelmed by all the new faces. However I feel more secure knowing there are lots of people.

I just need advice as I am really desperate at the moment. This is not what I wanted for my 14 month old baby but I am in this situation now and I need to find the best solution for him.

Childminder.

My mum was a cm when I was growing up and looked after a couple of toddlers who were sensitive and clingy initially.
The home environment seemed to help them ( and we all loved playing with them and cuddling them).

If I were you I would try to go and see some cm local to you.

Good luck.

I would be trying to find an AP style childminder or nanny in your shoes, and ideally a CM with only 1 other in the early years age range. Nursery would be a big upheaval - I know my easygoing, confident 15month old struggled at first because he was used to cuddles etc and nursery staff just don't have enough arms.

It may also be hard to find a nursery place for just one day a week whereas a cm might be more flexible.

I would go for a quiet childminding setting if you can find it, ideally one who doesn't do school runs and where he is the youngest child.

When my DS was 12 months I went back to work and chose a nursery. He sounds like your DS and he really struggled. He couldn't settle there at all and just wondered round the room until I came to pick him up. He also wouldn't sleep there and is a child that really struggles when he was tired. He was used to going out with me every day - walks in the park, playgroups etc and hated being in one room.

I ended up leaving work and pulling him out as he was so miserable. I then returned to work and he went to a childminder. It was so different! Whilst he still cried at the separation, he loved going on the school run and she went to the same playgroup I did and took him to animal parks, the library etc. All the things I did with him. He also had a travel cot in a bedroom which was his place to sleep and he happily went off for his nap.

Choose a childminder carefully - one that does the kind of things with them that you consider important and that he enjoys.

Initially I wanted a childminder for him before my dm offered to help. I only have two weeks though now to find a childminder (I dont know any) but I do know at least 3 nurseries within walking distance of my work place who all have places for that one day. I hoped as its only one day he will be in the nursery it wont be too traumatising for him. He does like mother and toddler groups and is happy to leave my side when we are there without too much trouble. Im going to visit one of the nurseries on Friday and I will see whether he gets on well there but at the same time Im going to look for a childminder.

By the way one of the nurseries Im considering does not have a designated baby room. Instead the over 1s are in an open plan nursery with the 2-3 year olds. Does that sound normal to you? The other two rooms have special rooms for the 1-2 year olds and I found this other approach strange.

• other two nurseries

Nurseries might not take him just for one day as it will be so much harder for him to settle in.

I don't like the sound of all the over 1s in together - in fact I thought under 2s had to be in a separate room? They should be in a different staffing ratio to over 2s.

I would look for a small group for him, certainly no more than 12 children. Large groups are very stressful for babies/toddlers.

If you google your local Family Information Service, contact them tomorrow and they will be able to give you a list of all childminders with current vacancies in your area.

I think whatever setting you decide on, it might be better for him to go twice a week, so he becomes more used to going and settles more easily.

Go to your mother and toddler group and ask if anyone there is a CM. Chances are there'll be one there. ( and one that takes lo's out and about and to the MandT group your LO already knows)

According to me a child minder would be a better option because doing makes the child stay at home and his daily routine is also not disturbed . As you have said your child is sensitive and is not very happy changing his daily routine and is clingy nature d. Keeping a CM will give your child home environment and he will be much happier there.