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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Morning drop off... am i being precious?!?!

25 replies

tinybitmad · 05/09/2013 23:09

When dropping my one year old off at nursery in the mornings i like to physically hand her over to a member of staff, as opposed to leaving her to play by putting her on the floor etc..
Usually this is fine, but there is one girl/lady who says - oh you can just leave her there (by another child, orwith some toys) while she faffs about with papers or something. (I don't think this particular lady likes me anyway - after i asked them not to feed my daughter organix crisps when she was 7 months old). But that's not the point. Is it unreasonable of me not to want to do this, ie leave my daughter without handing her over?

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ChaosTrulyReigns · 05/09/2013 23:18

I think whatever mskes your DD happy is the key thing here.

If she's happy being plonked on the floor, then go with that.

gallicgirl · 05/09/2013 23:20

I always hand over to a member of staff, even now at 2.5.
Nursery teachers always want to do a proper handover so they know child is ok, especially when DD was smaller. They need to know if child has slept, eaten etc.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 05/09/2013 23:21

If the nursery staff take her, they're still going to have to put her down.

Why do you feel it's better?

BrianTheMole · 05/09/2013 23:21

I think whatever makes you happy and worry less. I probably would have wanted to physically hand dc over when they were tiny too.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 05/09/2013 23:22

But that doesn;t have to be a physical handover does it?

Tbh, it's been a while since mine were at nursery, so I may be out if the loop.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 05/09/2013 23:22

Sorry, also, what do you mean by "handing over". Do you mean physically, the nursery staff taking hold of her for a cuddle?

BackforGood · 05/09/2013 23:26

I can't understand what the problem is with putting her to sit on the floor with the toys . I mean, it's not like you are leaving her to toddle in by herself, obviously at 1 yr old, you are 'handing her over' by taking her into the room and having a quick word with the member of staff, she doesn't need to physically pick up/ hold each child that comes into the room.

AFishWithoutABicycle · 05/09/2013 23:29

I still hand over dd (2.5) otherwise she'll cry and the staff a brill at distracting her so it avoids any upset.

GampyWabbit · 05/09/2013 23:35

Dc3 is with a childminder, who always takes her out of my arms, gives her a cuddle and then stands at the window with her to wave me off. Dd is always happy to be left and I feel fine about leaving her in this way.

If you aren't happy to just leave your child in the floor, then this shouldn't really be happening IMO. How does your dd react to this?

teabagpleb · 06/09/2013 00:09

If your dd wants a cuddle, she should get one. If she's wanting to get stuck in with toys, let her - but I'm amazed if a baby room worker can faff about with papers most days at drop off time. At my kids' nursery, there's always at least one baby room worker on the floor cuddling a pile of babies - once someone has two, all the other babies want to join in!

Original poster

tinybitmad · 06/09/2013 09:44

thanks for your responses - muchos appreciated!

OP posts:

Rooners · 06/09/2013 09:50

I think sending a 1yo to nursery in itself is one definition of non precious tbf...I couldn't do it!

I would avoid this woman and try to find someone who appreciates that the details of the handover are important.

Bit worried about the crisps thing - I thought they were Ok? I think that's the ones I got for ds3 in waitrose the other week

SPBisResisting · 06/09/2013 09:50

Yanbu at all. If your dd prefers to be sat on the floor then fine but as a rule id expect a member of staff to interact with my child as I drop off: "how are you this morning? Shall we say bye to mummy?" Hold hand, cuddle or whatever. Ive used a lot if nurseries and childminders and that is how it's always been.

Inclusionist · 20/09/2013 19:55

Just 3 DS has to go in carrying his own bag and shake hands with the member of staff doing the register. My friend's not yet 2yo DS also has to walk into nursery under his own steam (different nursery). It's to do with independence and resposibility for self.

I think it's very reasonable to want the staff to acknowledge your DD's arrival but YABU about insisting on carrying her in and handing her over like a tiny baby. She 1yo not 8weeks.

cantthinkofagoodone · 20/09/2013 20:00

DS is 14 months and I usually hand him over. He's quite new and doesn't cry if they take him then go and organise brekkie. If she's happy then I wouldn't mind too much as long as they're taking an interest and asking if she's okay.

Whatevertheweather · 20/09/2013 20:00

Nursery staff always take my 13 month old dd for a cuddle when I drop her off. I'm sure she's put down to play soon after but I prefer physically handing her to someone too so I understand where you're coming from

Whatevertheweather · 20/09/2013 20:02

Oh and rooners its perfectly possible to be precious about your child even if you have to put them in nursery!

lovelyredwine · 20/09/2013 20:06

I don't think it's precious. That woman's attitude feels like the problem to me. It would only take 2 or 3 minutes to take your daughter off you and wave you off before popping her down to play. It's the fact that she's telling you to plonk her down over there, like you've just delivered a sack of potatoes rather than a human being.

I know that working in a nursery is a job, but it's a very important job and you should make the parents/carers feel comfortable leaving their kids there. The staff at dd's nursery always meet you at the door and know which kids like to wave at the window, which just want to get stuck in and which need a cuddle and some hand holding upon arrival. In other words they know and seem to care about the children. I think we're lucky, but I also think that's how it should be.

ChunkyPickle · 20/09/2013 20:17

DS is 3, (but going since he was 2.5) and whilst I don't physically hand him to someone, the person at the door with the register will always say hello to him, maybe ruffle his hair, and at least one member of staff in the main room will greet him and invite him over to join in whatever they're doing.

It's one of the reasons I love his playgroup - everyone is so caring and friendly, no shortage of affection and hugs.

PinkSippyCup · 20/09/2013 20:20

I can completely understand how you feel OP, I think that staff member is very rude. How hard is it to greet you and DD and take DD from you?

My DD is 11 months and just started nursery. I'd hate to have to leave her on the floor and walk off. I like a physical hand-over.

babybouncer · 21/09/2013 22:44

Both nurseries I've used have physically taken my 1yo from me. At the first it was part of their policy to ensure that they did a proper handover and effectively got messages etc.

To me, putting her on the floor isn't the problem, the nursery worker ignoring her is! She should be greeting the child and making sure that she is getting whatever she needs - toys, cuddle, breakfast etc.

I would take this up with the room leader or nursery manager.

ipswichwitch · 21/09/2013 22:51

Since DS could walk he will generally toddle in himself while I let nursery workers know how he is (they always ask and make sure they talk to each parent at drop off), and if there's any messages. He has some days where he's tired/grumpy/a bit upset for whatever reason where they take him from me for a cuddle, so they assess how he is when we arrive and respond appropriately.

vichill · 27/09/2013 23:01

Oh my god it would kill me to see my daughter cuddle a cm our kw before going to work. I would happily leave in a more neutral situation.

moogy1a · 30/09/2013 12:05

Vichill
"Oh my god it would kill me to see my daughter cuddle a cm our kw before going to work"
I don't get this? Would you rather she went in unhappily and no one interacted with / cuddled her??
All my little ones get cuddles throughout the day. Please don't say you don't approve!

Choos123 · 30/09/2013 13:42

Talk to the nursery manager, you shouldn't be made to feel bad about a perfectly normal thing.

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