If you work in a nursery...

[RuthT]

What are your pet peeves with parents?

What would you say to new parents if you could?

What do you see as the most common errors parents make?

etc etc

Just though if I am writing this article it would help to hear some different perspectives!

One main peeve of mine is when a child is poorly, they shouldnt really be brought to nursery. Then we phone the parent so they can collect their child and get an offish manor.

I feel that some of our parents start bad habits like driving round the block to get their child to sleep, and then the child relies on this to fall asleep.
Or children that cannot sleep in their own beds as their parents have always allowed them into their bed.

When i think of more i will let you know!!

jbadgirl, about the bad sleep habits, I think you might have put the cart before the horse. I don't "train" my dd to have good sleep habits so that she can settle for naptimes at nursery. As it turned out, dd would only be rocked or nursed to sleep when I had to start her at nursery. The staff were really sweet and after a little rocking, she now falls asleep in her cotbed at nursery. If dd found naptimes too difficult, I would have taken her out of nursery and probably considered a nanny.

OK ... i would of said to my parents.

DO NOT expect us to be able to find missing items/clothes if they are not labelled!

DO NOT bring your child in designer clothes - we cannot guarantee they will remain spotless all day.

DO NOT act surprised when we tell you your child (who you claim eats nothing) has eaten all three meals here today. This was so very common, and i swear children didn't eat at home due to fussy parents - whereas at nursery they followed their peers and just got on with it.

Don't blame us if your child has developed nappy rash, we care just as much as you and it is not something we wish to inflict on any child.

DO NOT blame us if your child takes longer to get toilet trained here than they do at home, of course they will make it in time in the home environment with one-to-one attention - you need to give a little more time for nursery environment.

DO NOT secretly dose your child with calpol, four hours into the morning you could always tell those that were flagging as their drugs wore off

Thats all i can think of for now!

I can add to this!

Please try to remember the the nursery DOES NOT revolve around your child, ALL the children are EQUALLY important!

Please do not expect us to memorize every toy, cup, book, hat, dummy, hairband, and item of clothing of all of the 70+ children on our register.

Please pick your child up at the agreed time EVERY DAY A couple of 'on times' a month does not make all the other late pick ups ok.

Please tell us when major important things happen in your child's home life (Grandma dying, parents splitting up, moving house, house burning down etc..) We are not being nosey, it really helps us to know these things so we can support your child.

If your child is going on a trip where a packed lunch is required, please do not pack food that must be heated, like soup.

Soup lol( tell me they didnt )

This is useful - please keep them coming

where do i start? everything said so far i totally agree with, especially about ill children! how about keeping your child with you at times when you have a weeks holiday and bugger off to town to shop but still bring them in 8 - 6! pay your bills on time then you won't get into debt with us! don't try and bring them in before opening times and get annoyed when we won't let you leave. please remember we have a life outside of nursery

cheesecake,

Actually, it was a tin of 4 month puree baby food, for an ALMOST TWO YEAR OLD!

Didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Another one for the list

The nursery opens at 8.00am. This means you will be allowed in at 8.00am. Not 7.50, or 7.55 and especially not 7* bloody 45 WE ARE NOT INSURED TO HAVE CHILDREN HERE BEFORE THAT TIME!!!

• Ditto for other end of day.

dont send your child if they have a contagious condition. eg conjunctivus, headlice, sickness.
dont keep paying late, the nursery suffers.
dont be continually late then not apologise.

I have a new perspective - I own a Nursery but was also a single busy over-worked full-time Mum of 2 for several years so have seen the pressures from both sides. Isn't our job about parent partnership? I've read all the 'pet peeves' with a smile because obviously we all suffer the same problems! When the parents booked in they didn't sign their contract to say - 'hey I'm perfect'. Most parents are not concerned with other people's children so their child is the only one in the Nursery as far as they are concerned. Because we are qualified and work in childcare are we assuming that parents should know things that we only know because of our work? I know I'm a far better parent now that I'm a Nursery Nurse than I ever was in my previous life. Try explaining things to a parent first - most are quite shocked at the things we have to consider (they think we just play with the children all day) - the usual response is 'I never thought of it like that!' Yes, I know - it should be common sense!! Sadly not - but parents do pay our wages so let's smile through gritted teeth and keep trying to make things better and help them to understand. That way we know we've tried for the children and feel a little better about the disgraceful salaries we all earn!!! PS. This is my first message as I'm new. FAB site!

Sorry meant to say 'full-time working' Mum - sadly no working family tax credits in those days!!!

purplefraggle, ds (almost 2)goes to nursery 3 days a week. I work 40 hrs a week but work long days mon and tues (a regular shift weds)so I can look after him thurs and fri. I have been known to take him to nursery on the odd occasion that I've taken annual leave on the day he would usually go to nursery. That is much needed respite. What's wrong with it? I'm paying anyway and he loves nursery. It's not 8-6, more like 9-4, but let's not split hairs.

I agree, I find it hard leaving DS at nursery and I'm part-time, but when I can afford it I do plan to take the (very) occasional day off work and have time to myself while he is at nursery. I've been working a 12-hour shift every single day since he was born - either childcare or a combination of my paid work and childcare. One day soon i will need a day off.

However this thread is great and really interesting and helpful for trying to make things easier for the nursery.

Another thing, as a parent, I am very rushed in the mornings and have 3 children. It is possible that I would not notice if one was a bit off-colour but would obviously not deliberately bring in a sick child.
As to the call at work to come and get a sick child, the "off" manner is probably due to the stress of knowing that in one minute you are going to have to tell a manager who has no children and is 200% dedicated to his/her job that once again you are going to have to leave and pick up your sick child.

Yes I think that is a more likely explanation chipmonkey. Whoever said parents who can't get kids to eat properly at home are fussy....not true in our case. DS refuses to eat veg at home but eats without complaint at nursery. We've tried ignoring it, putting just one carrot on the plate, cajoling/bribing etc. Most likely explanation = other children at nursery eating their veg so he does the same.

There is also the theory that at home with you, a baby will test you to the limit with refusing food, having tantrums etc. because it it with their parents that babies usually feel most secure. At nursery they are more instinctively "on guard" and less likely to play up.

I am a nursery manager and i strive to understand the needs of working parents. Illness thing is main problem, often parents complain if their child picks up an illness at nursery but then refuse(well, protest loudly) at collecting their child when ill. If all parents abided by illness policy it would limit the illnesses doing the rounds. that said however all my families/parents are great and i am honoured to love and care for their little ones.

yes I hadn't thought of that snowleapard. Anyway I just wanted to add that I am very grateful for the care that ds receives at his nursery. The staff are all great and very caring. He doesn't want to leave when we go to collect him (and we're not abusing him!) so that says it all really.

2 sides to every coin, i'm lucky in that after 2mths of dd being in nursery p/t I decided to give up work and become a SAHM but I bet if a thread was started with "Parents who put children into nursery what are your pet peeves with the staff" well i'm sure there would be a few posts

DD nursery were great on the whole but what i couldn't understand was they ask you about your babies routine and when you tell them it doesn't get followed, dd always has an hour nap inbetween 8.30-9.00am not at nursery tho so by the afternoon I had an awful job getting her to take afternoon nap, they asked if I used nappy cream I say yes so the tube is returned unused, only little things I know but everyone has their pet peeves I suppose