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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

How long is appropriate to stay at nursery when collecting your DC?

30 replies

getoffthecoffeetable · 31/10/2012 19:43

I tend to stay between 5-10 mins getting DS's coat on etc depending on what he's doing. Can I ask, do you pick up your DC and leave immediately? DS is one and a half. Thanks.

OP posts:

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Meglet · 31/10/2012 19:50

I'm always chatting during drop off and pick up, unless we're late for work / swimming etc.

If I collect after 5pm it's usually quiet so I let DD carry on playing while I have a look at what she's done and have a chat to the staff, not necessarily about DD though. We're often there for 15mins while she plays then puts away.

Original poster

getoffthecoffeetable · 31/10/2012 19:54

That's what I have always done. However, nursery have just contacted me to say DS plays up when I pick him up and that they want me to leave straightaway with him. The more I think about it, the crosser I am.
I wanted to see what others did and if I was staying too long on pick up.
Thanks Meglet

OP posts:

lindsell · 31/10/2012 19:56

It usually takes me about 20-30mins to encourage ds1 to leave, find his various scattered drawings of the day all of which must be taken home or the world will end get him to put his coat on, get him to go to the toilet etc. If I actually want to speak to the staff add another 10mins.

He's 3.7 and I'm on ml with ds2, it was much quicker when I rushed in from work to pick him up 2mins before they closed - he couldn't mess around then

lindsell · 31/10/2012 19:58

X posts - odd comment from the nursery - I know that it's not a good idea to hang around at drop off as that can upset them but I can't see the problem at pick up did they explain the thinking behind it?

Original poster

getoffthecoffeetable · 31/10/2012 19:59

Thanks Lindsell The more I think about it, the crosser it's making me. Am feeling like I've been singled out as it's not their usual policy or if it is, it's the first time I've heard about it. Also, DS shows off but I definitely wouldn't say he misbehaved loads or anything. I honestly don't think I'm looking at it through rose tinted glasses.

OP posts:

Gumby · 31/10/2012 19:59

We just dashed in and out
Listened to a run down of their day , got bags & coats & left

Original poster

getoffthecoffeetable · 31/10/2012 20:06

They did explain their reasoning but I don't agree with it, which in turn is making me feel uncomfortable about the nursery and have been thinking I'd like to pull DS out but I wanted to see if I was overreacting or not.

OP posts:

mogandme · 31/10/2012 20:06

I was a nursery nurse - it ranges from 2-10 minutes. Odd comments BUT does Ds really cause a problem? When you say show off - how? If a child was too noisy, was running about, not listening, throwing, fiddling, being silly and causing a scene/causing others to copy then I wouldn't be happy and tbh we are also caring for the other children having. a child playing up and a flapping parent doesn't help us do pure job etc

mogandme · 31/10/2012 20:07

What was the reasoning?

Jollyb · 31/10/2012 20:08

Another in and out here - 5 mins max unless there was a problem.

ceebeegeebies · 31/10/2012 20:10

Am that you all stay as long as you do tbh.

I have been using the same nursery for nearly 6 years now and I have only ever stopped as long as it takes to get my child in his coat and shoes and out the door - 5 minutes max. Don't generally chat to the staff other than hello as they will always tell me if anything unusual has happened (which is very very rare). I don't really see the need to stop any longer - I just want to get home!

That seems to be the norm at the nursery aswell.

RyleDup · 31/10/2012 20:12

Out as quickly as possible here. No reason to hang round unless theres a problem.

getoffthecoffeetable · 31/10/2012 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mogandme · 31/10/2012 21:10

Why did getoff delete her message?

So he kicked something at a smaller baby, refused to say sorry for several minutes (what were you doing?) then apologised and both fell over.

Tbh as a nursery nurse I can see/imagine several things that may have also happened ..... Come back op

ceebeegeebies · 31/10/2012 21:27

Just what I was wondering...why was her message withdrawn?

crackcrackcrak · 31/10/2012 21:30

Dd decides! Sometimes she's wants to dash out of the door. Sometimes she wants to show me things or squeeze in another few minutes with her pals or a favourite activity. Dd nursery don't seem to mind if she hangs around.

NickNacks · 31/10/2012 21:34

It's a hard time of day because no one takes control of the child and thru know it!!

It bothers me a lot as a cm when parents hang around too long. We have a good chat about the day whilst gathering things etc but then they don't leave and the children start getting toys out again, siblings fight, they run around my house with their shoes on. I try to step in as it's my house but without parents backing its futile. These children are perfectly lovely before their parent arrives!

SamSmalaidh · 31/10/2012 21:36

I tend to stay for about 5 minutes I suppose, sometimes 10 if I am a little early and DS is still eating his lunch or something.

From working in a nursery though, I do recognise that it is a real pain for staff when parents hang around for ages, their child plays up and staff can't discipline them, they monopolise staff time and take up lots of space. So I try to be respectful of the difficulties hanging about and wanting to chat can cause!

NotQuintAtAllOhNo · 31/10/2012 21:42

When sons were in nursery, I was in and out as quickly as possibly, as I did not want to take up the time of the staff, unless there was an issue. No point lingering.

MikeOxardForHalloween · 31/10/2012 21:46

I'm gobsmacked how long people stay too. I'm in and out in a couple of minutes, just long enough to give her kiss, pick up her things and one of the staff will usually say she was good today/had a lovely day. It would be awful if all the parents hung about for half an hour when picking their kids up, disruptive for the kids and staff. Why not just get on with it, there's no need to fanny about for that length of time.

mogandme · 31/10/2012 22:15

Totally agree NickNacks - am now a nanny and it astonishes me how behaviour can change drastically during my end of day handover and with me not 100% sure I should step it - until I just get cross and take charge

As a nursery nurse it's the same - the children know the rules; even the 1-2's and behave, however a mix of end of the day tiredness and parents being there cause ructions that would normally be dealt with quickly and swiftly to escalate ie kicking toys and not apologising.

MrsCantSayAnything · 31/10/2012 22:18

II don't think you need to stay that long. They're busy...get your child and go. Pop in once a week to see what he's been up to.

PurpleGentian · 31/10/2012 22:25

Usually I stay long enough to ask the staff how DS has been, then put his coat on etc and leave. This doesn't usually take long - maybe a few minutes?

Generally I only stay longer if I turn up in the middle of dinner and DS is still eating.

HSMM · 31/10/2012 22:26

If collecting right at the end of the day, you should leave quickly, so the staff can clear up and get home. If collecting while other children are still there, you should leave quickly, so you don't disturb the other children. If there is something urgent that needs talking about, hopefully someone will grab you before you get as far as your child anyway.

mogandme · 31/10/2012 22:41

Agreed HSMM :)

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