Would like to put son into nursery?

[Kt1991]

Hi there everyone, I was just looking for some advise about whether to send my son to nursery at least 1 day a week. He is nearly 16months old, and at the moment, while I work 3 days a week he is cared for by his grandparents. I would really like him to go to a nursery 1 day a week so he can mix with other children (as he doesn't really see many little ones of his age) but I am quite concious about sending him somewhere we both don't really know. I am quite obsessed with his routine as I have the perfect routine for him that works really well and has done since he was a baby, and I am quite funny with change, as I noticed that it distrupts him too. I would be greatful if some other mums could let me know how their little ones got on with going to nursery, and how it works for them.

Thanks

My DCs had/have a bit of a varied routine - 1 day a week they were looked after by DGP's, 1 day a week by me or DH and 3 dys in nursery. Every bit of it worked for us. My DCs have a fab relationship with their DGP's because they had/have regular contact with them, I was comfortable that they were spending at least 3 dyas a week being cared for by me/DH and they got loads out of being at nursery - mixing with other children, learning to share, becoming independent, growing in confidence, getting to do all the messy play things you don't always do at home because of the damage/cleaning up involved!

I would add that I love my DCs nursery and have complete confidence in them, which is essential.

I think that nursery is great for tots although you are unlikely to find a nursery that will follow your son's routine to the letter. Also children change and what is a great routine for a baby is not a great routine for an 18 month old or two year old. I think that your son would find it hard to get used to the routine of the nursery with just one day a week. You would be better with two mornings. If the granparents are prepared to pick up at the end of the morning, your lo could sleep when being cared by the granparents.

DD has done really well at nursery and really enjoys the activites. The down side is more illness than having a child at home with granparents. I suppose a lot depends on how fit your child's granparents are. A tiny tot is tiring for anyone.

personally i think that for a young child having family looking after him is far better than being in nursery. right now he has one to one care... that's a good thing!

the other thing i'd say is that a lot of nurseries won't take a child only one day a week as it makes it quite difficult for them to settle in as it's a long time between each session and it can be hard to form friendships

i'd be more inclined to ask his grandparents if they coudl take him to a toddler group while they have him?

i think nursery/playgroup is great for older children, but at 16 months I am not sure the benefits of it are greater than being looked after by family members who can stick to his routine and who he knows and loves

I have just decided to put DD (21mo) into nursery for the same reason. She loves to play with other DC but we don't have many LOs around. TBH I started thinking about it when she was about your DS's age, but my DP said she was too young.

I have decided on one morning to start with, I'm at work that day and DP will have her in the afternoon, and when I'm happy she is settled then I will put her in a second morning. I think she will get more out of mornings rather than a whole day.

WRT routine, the nursery I've picked will try to adapt to your childs routine, but there are some things that of course are give and take. They have a sleep area that they will put your child into at whatever time you tell them is nap time as an example, but lunchtime is standard for all children.

Overall though, I think any of the 'downsides' for my DD at least will be more than compensated for by the positives she will get from mixing with other children, having lots of activities, and different stimulants.

I also think that a little bit of variety to a routine is not always a bad thing, and if you want to keep it the same perhaps make the changes that will take place in nursery apply to the other days, perhaps move lunch to match the nursery time etc.

What RT said really. Our first started nursery when he was about 15 months ( he is now nearly ten).
I won't lie to you, some children take some time to get used to their new routine at nursery, therefore choose one that takes the settling in stage very seriously.
Btw, I think a good nursery is a wonderful experience for a child.

Also, keep in mind that by going once a week it might take longer to get used to the new environment.

From what you have said, I'm not sure a nursery would be right for you and your DS. (Nothing against nurseries in general, DD1 loves hers and DD2 will start in Sep at 15 months).

A good nursery will try to follow your routine but it won't always be possible as he'll be distracted by other children and so on. It will also take a while to settle, and I do think that it's harder for children to settle if they only go once or twice a week.

In your position, if I was happy with the childcare from the GPS, I would wait a while, take him to some toddler groups and send him to nursery when he's a bit more able to understand what's happening.

Thank you everyone for your advise, think I may leave it a little longer till he's at least 2 years old. His grandparents love having him, and hes formed a strong bond with them,but just dont want it to suddenly happen where they can no longer look after him on those days anymore so nursery would have to be an option. We're going to look into some good toddler groups too so they can take them there. Also think when we do enroll for him to go to nursery 2 mornings would work a lot better.