Is this normal? What to do? (PFB?)

[Safmellow]

DD (just turned 1) started her nursery induction last week, stayed half an hour alone, then one and a half hours alone, and was fine both times.

Today I took her and as soon as we arrived she became hysterical, I tried to leave about 5 times unsuccessfully over about 2 hours.

I don't know what the best course of action is now, or what I should have done today. Should I have abandoned it altogether and taken her away, left anyway in the hope she would calm down, or stayed with her to play? I am worried she may start to see it as a place where mummy plays with her.

The nursery have a blanket policy of leaving it up to me to decide how to ease her into it, so they couldn't give me any advice at all :(

you could try staying and playing for a bit, then leaving her for a short time, so she sees you are coming back. Her comfort level depends a lot on how you are feeling about leaving her.

If you can bear to, I think there is some merit in putting her in the arms of her keyworker, kissing her goodbye brightly and leaving the room quite quickly, then peeping through the vision panel in the door a minute or so later to see how quickly she settles with the nursery nurse.

I put DS into nursery at 11.5 months, and had to do this from time to time once I'd gone back to work. I found that he settled very quickly with a cuddle from his lovely keyworker.

I'd stay for a few sessions and help her develop a relationship wih key worker then leave her alone for longer and longer amounts of time, take her in late and leave he alone, then get earlier and earlier. That way she will know when you will be picking her up as it will always be the same point in the nursery routine.

Also, try not to show any anxiety about leaving her and don't drag it out. Maybe say goodbye, explain you'll be back at such and such point. Then kiss, hug and no further eye contact. Just leave.

Obviously, you'll have to adapt it to her level of anxiety and understanding.

Thanks everyone for your advice x

Just an update - took DD back yesterday for another session.

When I arrived I decided to stay with her for a little while. She settled well but while I was there I observed the following:

Safety gate on the stairs hanging open.

DD was given a ballpoint pen to play with.

A baby who looked about 7 or 8 months old was left alone with chunks of raw apple to eat.

Highchairs were filthy - I struggled to get DD out of hers because the clasp was so greasy.

I also haven't been allocated a key worker or told about the signing in and our procedure (discovered it myself leafing through some info at the door).

So I am not taking her back! Will lose my deposit sadly. The hunt continues! :)