Nursery near work vs near home

[Beaurevage]

DH and I are having trouble deciding which is the best choice - Assuming the two potential nurseries are identical in every way (they're not, but let's just assume they are) should we send DS to a nursery near our home or one that is near our offices?

If he goes to the one near our offices we would be able to spend that extra time with DS on the commute into town (approx 45 minutes each way). Granted it's not really 'quality time' as the commute is from the Greenwich area into the city of London so is an assult on the senses for a 1 yo. The train will be packed and the 20 minute walk at the other end will be full of suits rushing around and not all that happy about a pram to contend with.

If he goes to the one near home we would have to drop him off earlier and pick him up later in order to not take the piss with work hours. We are going to takes turns doing the nursery run. So there is the possibility that we can come to agreements with our respective offices such that it will be acceptable to come in late and leave early on those days that it's one or the other's turn... But we're still talking dropping DS off at say 8am and not picking him up till 6pm. That's a long day and doesn't leave much time at either end to spend time with him.

Thoughts / experiences welcome!!

TIA

I had the same question 3 years ago :)

We opted for the nursery close to home for 2 reasons. 1 - If one of you is off sick/taking annual leave and DS is still going to nursery, it's much easier to drop at the one close to home. 2 - I didn't want DS spending 1.5 hours a day in the car when he didn't have to, as I don't have the safest commute in the world.

Could one of you change to an early start and one work later so that one of you always does the drop off and one always does the pick-up to minimise hours at nursery?

DS does 7am - 5pm and has done since 1yo, and while he found it hard initially he loves it now.

...and somehow missed the London aspect. Christ.. don't take a child into London in rush hour unless you absolutely have to it will NOT be quality time.

Let's imagine DS is ill and the nursery phone you to collect him as soon as possible. Which one is quickest to get to? If he is vomiting or has a high temp the nursery won't be happy if it takes you nearly an hour to get to them.
Also, what happens if the commute takes longer to get to home nursery- say an accident or something. The nursery won't be happy waiting for you to arrive.
I would probably go with the nursery nearer to work.

I'd go for one nearer home and try and make the work hours between your and DH suitable so he is not there as long , easier said than done in that respect I appreciate that.

Also having a nursery nearer home is more stable in that at some stage your may change jobs also you decide that you work from home . As someone has alreay said if your are sick you can still take DS to nursery.

A commute into London will not be a plesant experince for anyone .

If you are late for picking up for whatever reason then expect that they will charge you so be prepared for that cost . I would rather have my child in a nice cosy nursery - all be it paying extra - whilst I am stuck on a train / traffic jam than having a screaming tied child with me on a overcrowded train.

In circumstances where you are going to be late have a backup plan so someone else could pick him up .

If you're driving then I'd say it doesn't make as much difference but if you're commuting into London then definitely go for the one nearer to home. Rush-hour with a small child can be heartbreakingly awful. And that's when the trains are running properly.

I might have got the wrong end of the stick but were you planning that the person doing the drop-off would be the one doing pick-up? If so, it might work better if one dropped off and then worked a bit later, and the other got in early but did the evening pick up. That way you could each still work a full day in the office.

Thanks all for your thoughts. DH and I keep going back to the horrid commute into London. Just don't think it's going to be fair on the kid. Especially when you think about it in the long term as Avantia suggests. More so though in the - can you imagine a crowded train with a toddler acting up...I think I'd lose the will to live.

Also, the nursery near home is quite a bit nicer. If push comes to shove DSIL might be able to help out...

We're now discussing the one drops off and the other picks up. This is a good idea....

We had a similar dilemma and opted for the nursery nearer home. My H and I both commute for 1hr+ (driving) and even though it meant a longer day for DC (8.15ish to 5.45ish) we thought this was the better option than having them in the car for 2 hours a day when they could be doing something more constructive. People advised us too that as your child gets older (around 3 maybe when they've dropped their day time nap but are shattered having had a full day at nursery) a car journey - especially if its an hour or so - would mean they'd end up falling asleep and then they probably wouldn't go down at bed time. I certainly wouldn't want to do a lengthy commute home from London on the train with an overtired 3 year old!!

As others have said, it's not ideal but things can change work wise in the time that your child is at nursery and you might be able to get a job closer to home / have days off when you wouldn't want to be commuting into London just to put your DS into nursery etc.

We have arranged it so that my H drops the DC off and gets into work 15-30mins later than usual, and I leave slightly earlier to miss most of the traffic so I can collect.

The downsides are that you are not close by if anything happens - my DS had an accident at nursery and they phoned me at work to collect him and advised that they thought he might need a stitch in his lip so I'd need to take him to hospital - and that felt like a really long hour before I could get to him. There have also been occasions when I've been stuck in a traffic jam (suppose it could be train cancellations / tube strike etc in your case) where I've known I wouldn't get back before 6pm when the nursery closes and my H has had to leave his work and take an alternative route to try to get there. On one occasion - when neither of us could get back in time - we've had to ask a neighbour to collect. Most evenings I'm stressed about getting there in time and have to leave work on the dot which isn't great.

Hi Mandy, just noticed your post. Sorry, was out of commission all week with a migraine! Horrid things.

Thanks for your detailed reply, we have opted for the closer to home nursery. As you've stated, the commute isn't really going to be quality time, especially as he gets older.

As for the close to home, I think that if we're in a pinch, DH's sister could pick him up... Sorry to hear about the split lip! I'd be beside myself!

Thanks again for your experience.

B

Just to add my two cents from the other side. I commute with DS (now 16mo) into central london about an hour each way. The commute isn't that bad, we read books on the train and people are surprisingly helpful. I think I've been offered a seat more times with a child than when I was pregnant. It works well for us. I wouldn't be able to work even my core hours if I had him in a nursery at home. The only problem as someone else mentioned is that if you do take a day off sick, it means your DC will prob have to stay home too.

Oh and I don't take a buggy. I've got a toddler carrier. I think a buggy in rush hour would be difficult.

And just noticed this is quite an old thread...