choosing a playgroup

[olek]

hi, im new here. would love some help as cant sleep at night. Have a lovely dd who will be 2 in dec. Whilst i work she goes 3 morn a week to childminer, and one day mother, and the other morn to mother in law.

Having second in jan, do i keep her home (she is a good girl, and a potterer) or send her out?

and cant choose playgroups...one is walking distance (can do walking rota), does more 'things' with the children, but 9 out of 12 children were 2 by sept, so all a little older. and she is £38 a week.

The other means using the car a short distance (can do rota so only one way) has younger children, more 'free play' but all 7 are boys! and costs £30

Neither are registered, impossible to find in my area, (registered baby coming for Sep 07 and is on waiting list!) but both have helpers and are lovely ladies.

The second one would possibly do half a week to keep costs down (as you can see finances is important) but would that be a bit bitty for my daughter? and may be choosing that in order not to make a decision! First one says in her experience didnt work for her or child as harder to settle.

feeling very sad at my indeciseveness, hope you all can help. many thanks

I would keep your dd in a similar routine when new baby arrives, as that will be more familiar to her. You could always reduce the number of days she's out if you wanted to (although I don't want to do any childminders out of work!!)

Do you mean that the playgroups aren't registered? Does your dd have to go to a playgroup anyway?

Can your childminder give any recommendations about them?

Personally, I would probably choose the closer one because I hate having to drive anywhere, even though it costs more. I don't think I'd necessarily be worried about the children being a bit older.

Most friends who have their second say it is a big help to have older kid occupied for three hours to rrest from night time feeds etc. is that true?

If continue her existing childminder than prob means driving there and back to fetch her - not far, is prob just a pain to buckle two kids up etc. would it be worth the 3 hours break to just look after number two?

Also the kids the childminder have is generally till age 2, though there are about 3 kids her age. but it is more glorified babysitting, with a few activities.

Plan is to get her used to new place about 4 weeks before baby comes.

Yes, I would definitely encourage older child to have something to do when new baby is around, especially if it is something she is used to doing, and will continue to enjoy doing. Having a second baby is hard work when you have a toddler around.

If you want to still have the childminder, could you do slightly longer hours but maybe only for 2 days instead of 3? It's a shame if she doesn't do much in the way of activities though. How can she have three other children of the same age? Unless she has an assistant or has permission from OFSTED to have that many children, then she should only have a maximum of three children under the age of 5 years.

yes, she does have an assistant, but they do not stick to the ratio of 1:3 for under fives. Is that the ratio? Though they are friends of ours so have no problem trusting them.

Went to see the playgroup nearer to me today. Was very sweet, children seem happy. the room seemed a little small though. Just feels a wrench sending her out (even though i have been doing it till now!). But am worried new baby will be overwhelming and i will need that time. I cannot remember what my dd was like as a baby. I do not remember it being as time consuming and tiring as everyone talks about - and is that only for the first few weeks? then why not send her to chilminder for first 6 weeks - except that adds a fourth option to worry about!

thanks for your help

It's really hard to know how you will feel with a toddler and a tiny baby - some people seem to sail through it all, others (like me!) feel like they have never slept. It does get better though!

If you already have things in place to help you manage when the baby is born, and you can financially afford to continue doing this, then go for it. Are you set on your dd going to a playgroup still?

Most childminders will be registered to care for 3 children under the age of 5 years. If you have an assistant or special permission from OFSTED, then you may be allowed more under the age of 5 years.