Housing situation. Feeling really low.

[DancinUnderNeonLights]

Hello. Is anybody about tonight? I could do with a friend.

I posted previously about a situation with my new letting agents & them not taking my ex off the tenancy. (This still isn't resolved)

Anyway, today they sent me a letter stating that the rent will go up by £300 a month.

I cannot afford this.

I contacted the council (online, it says that they can negotiate with landlords, but all they actually said was to make a council house application & go away, really)

I did the council housing application.
I also applied for the crisis & resilience fund (I had this previously & it just ran out)
They sent me an email stating that I'm spending more than I was back in April & why is this, & that I have more CC debt than I did in April, & why is this. So I don't think that this will be successful this time.

What else can I do?

I'm not working (I get LCWRA) but I'm trying to find a job.

I struggle really badly with anxiety (As well as having other stressful situations going on in my life right now)

So I feel like this doesn't look like I've done 'much' but it took a lot of mental strength to do what I've done today.

I was trying to find a friend who I could go & sit with today, in my contacts, but I didn't want to burden anybody in the end. So I thought that I'd ask on here tonight.

Solasum I will look up Almshouses, thank you. I cant find anybody to help me apply for any grants. I am on 'Lightning reach' which lists a load of them in one place, but I asked CAB previously & they said that my bank statements don't show that I'm in financial hardship so they won't assist me with any grants.

I spoke to them again & said that I was getting money paid into my bank from my mum & about the CC covering food & the vets & they said that their decision was final but they'd give me a voucher for a food parcel, but this second one wasn't 'my' branch & when I spoke to my branch again they said that I don't qualify for a food parcel or anything else.

I emailed Lightning reach & asked if they know who can help me apply for their grants as CAB aren't able to help, & they replied with 'Ask CAB'.

Speak to your water company and see if they do a tariff for people who use more water than the average household due to medical needs.

Does your water bill also cover sewerage charges?
Are you on a meter?

MrsMoastyToasty Thank you, they just put me on this a couple of months ago. I believe it does, there's no separate bill. Yes it's a meter.

They may offer water saving devices to reduce consumption. Its also a good idea to check your meter regularly to see if your consumption goes up drastically (usually down to a leak).

Not ideal I know but could you take in a lodger for a while to help you get back on your feet and give you some breathing space. The kids would have to stay with their dad full time or could they sleep in your room temporarily?

It's horrible when you get into a debt spiral and it's hard to get out. Just check the income from the lodger wouldn't affect your other income as there wouldn't be any point otherwise.

The other option of course is to downsize to a one bed and have a sofa bed in the livingroom for the kids. Again not ideal but in desperate times..... Again you would need to check your income does not change if you do that or there wouldn't be any point.

I wouldn't get rid of the cat simply because that will have a huge impact on your mental health (dog owner here). Pets are supportive and it sounds like you are needing all the support you can get.

I hope you figure things out. Keep posting if it helps.

Are you the only adult in the house?
If so are you claiming 25% discount on your council tax?

Have a read up on the Renters Rights Act to see if your landlord is doing everything by the book.

No advice on the housing situation but you haven’t mentioned much about your incontinence. Are you getting much support from your GP for this? Are you on a waiting list for surgery or do you have any treatment currently? You really need to push for this. If it’s impacting your life so much that you can claim LCWRA then I’d be speaking to the GP again. Also, the NHS can provide free products fir incontinence so speak to your GP and explain how you’re struggling financially and see if you can get your pads etc for free.

AvidMauveCrab Its just normal every day crappy life so I don't talk about it really. It's been 10 years. Sometimes I try not to wear a pad overnight as I'm sore & then I waddle to the bathroom in the night whilst weeing myself. Or there's been a couple of times when I'm out with the kids & can't hold it & it all goes through my pad & clothes.

It's not nice to talk about but it's just normal crappy life for me.

I was trying these tablets but they give me horrendous dry mouth, like I couldn't swallow or anything. & I just couldn't bare it during the stupidly hot summer so I'm not taking anything currently (GP knows this)

There were a few options involving surgery but none if them had great success rates so I've just accepted it really.

Why do you pay for DC lunches if they are entitled to free school meals? Or maybe I misunderstood.

Thesillysocks It's a little extra for a drink & a snack although sometimes it's less than £50 but sometimes they have a packed lunch for school when they are with me or I give them snack & drink to take.

I know that I don't have to do this but I was doing this before they went to live with their dad & I don't pay him maintenance.

DHP/CRF should be able to help

13. Authorities must use the CRF to offer support to low-income households to:

• individuals who have experienced financial shock. A financial shock is a sudden, unexpected expense or drop in income, that can place pressure on their budget and wellbeing, or
• prevent individuals from entering crisis. Providing timely support so that people can manage pressures, maintain control and avoid being pushed into crisis or prevent crises from escalating.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/crisis-and-resilience-fund-guidance-for-local-authorities-in-england-1-april-2026-to-31-march-2029/the-crisis-and-resilience-fund-guidance-for-local-authorities-in-england-1-april-2026-to-31-march-2029

You dont need to have your ex removed. DWP can treat your tenancy as 'untidy' and assess you as the only tenant.

Thank you questioneverything01 I think that's the one that have just said that they will top up my rent for me now, until February.

I wanted my ex removed as he was & still is abusive towards me & he can choose to end the tenancy since he technically still lives here (according to the new letting agents)

It's for my own MH as much as anything, knowing that he hasn't got this hold over my home... And it would have been nice if the letting agents hadn't completely blanket me regarding this issue, it just isn't nice

But it doesn't matter anyway now, he's still on it, & I won't be living here much longer.

Yes that’s correct OP will need to fill out if not already done and select ‘my home is no longer affordable’ complete the form/application, I did mine online on the computer when we had a council service near by, and they will then get in touch to ask questions, from there someone is supposed to contact and ask for details/documents. You are then supposed to get a housing needs officer who will look at your situation/case.

They will sometimes try to negotiate with your landlord, or you might get told to/can apply for discretionary payments to help. But yes £300 is a lot I had this.

I couldn’t pay, went through above process, this was prior to the new renters rights, and they did not enforce it, but used that time and I think we’re going to do so anyway, whilst they got a bit extra out of me, to get their paperwork together, and then in turn gave me notice last November, and used Section 21-accelerated lol, but unfortunately because of errors and I defended we are still here and still awaiting because of a court error too, a further hearing, having had two already 🤦‍♀️🤣

But yes get legal advice if need be along the way, and keep on with the council! I think now under new rules a landlord has to serve a Section 13 for rent enforcement if they want you to pay more.
Do not sign anything or agree to anything. If they contact you wanting to know what’s happening you can tell them I am seeking advise on this matter.

I got mine off as he committed DV within the home which reached the terms of the tenancy agreement

Hi, DancinUnderNeonLights. I don't think anyone has suggested Christians Against Poverty (CAP). Despite the name, you don't have to be Christian, or a believer at all, to get help from them. My sister and BIL were in a lot of credit card debt some years ago, and CAP was so helpful to them. They did not try to convert them at all, were just lovely and supportive. Worth you contacting them. Best wishes, and I hope things get better for you.

If youre on UC your child should be entitled to FSM

The housing element is capped and the cap is well below actual private rental rates. It's a huge problem for lower income people in private rentals.

’you’re only suggesting that because I’m poor’ I’m not sure thats a fair thing to say, PP was trying to help you. What’s stopping you just communicating with them or their DF through calls or texts?

What do calls and texts have to do with it? Surely the mobile bill is a red herring - you can get a lot of data for a £10 a month plan. The poster she was responding to was saying she needed to move to a shared house to afford rent meaning the children wouldn't have a bedroom with her. Given that they stay with her 40% of the time that's a bitter pill to swallow. I don't know if OP could find a one bedroom place for less than her proposed rent increase but if so that would be better than a shared house as the children could have the bedroom during their time. Advising a mother to do away with space for her children to sleep might be practical but it's also extremely harsh.

Thank you so much SethAndReubenTooSendGaloshes for the kind post.

I am hoping for a 1 bedroom so that I can at least have them to stay, but I know that it's not realistic. I had them for 6 days (5 nights) in a row over the summer holidays & then another 5 days (4 nights) & a couple of months before this, for 8 days (7 nights) in a row due to illness on their dad's side... This was sprung on me with an hour's notice & I, & the kids, never knew what was happing which day or when it would end. Although of course I'm happy to have them.

The parenting App is court ordered so we shouldn't be calling or texting outside of that.

UC like to put notes in your diary that don't really say anything, such as 'No changes this time' or 'Review due in a month' but you have to log on & read them in case it's important.

As I said, if I stopped paying for my £10 a month phone, that isn't going to pay the £300 rent increase.

Nor is the £6 parenting app.

Redruby2020 Yes I've sent the council what they've asked for. I won't be signing the 'new' tenancy either way, as it lists us as joint tenants.

Yellowcakestand I'm glad that you did He shouldn't still be on it & I sent the new letting agents emails from the old letting agents stating that he had been removed 9 years ago but (I think it was Shelter that said this) they didn't get me to sign a new tenancy agreement that time, & I should have done, & the new letting agents are just going by the original tenancy.

reallyalurker Thank you, I am aware of them.

And yes, SethAndReubenTooSendGaloshes I believe the maximum housing allowance for a 2 bedroom in my area is £750 (I may be wrong) so even if I still had the children with me & UC payed the full £750, I'd still need to pay £300 on top.

dancehysterical22 I stand by that comment to be honest. Nobody would suggest to a well off woman that she should not even bother trying to have a bedroom for her children any more & should happily accept never seeing them again. Because me & their dad are only supposed to communicate through the parenting App, which I would no longer be paying for, so I would simply never talk to or see them again (until they are adult I suppose, possibly) And I don't believe any of you on here would suggest this to a woman with money.

Sorry, it's £9 for the parenting App.

I had similar situation with estate agent. Ex still on the tenancy.
DWP had no problem with that.
However council was completely incompetent, understanding my UC statements, and told me to inform DWP that my ex isnt there.

Can you use the PDSA for your cat's treatment? When I used to work in benefits yonks ago, we'd do a letter for claimants to take to the PDSA to show they were entitled to free or heavily discounted vet treatment. I'm not sure of eligibility but it's worth looking into ❤️

Thank you Emmylou22. Unfortunately it's not an option.

questioneverything01 Yes UC have been fine. I gave them the email from my old letting agents stating that it's just me in the home, & that was the end of it.