Please can I have a sense check about how to deal with this. I want to make things better, not worse, for DS.
For context, he is in Y5, autistic, high masking, very bright, very anxious, sociable but not socially confident. Doesn't tell us much at all about school, does not tell teachers about issues there and very rarely tells us, even.
We moved house and school about 18 months ago, I've felt very conflicted about this but ultimately decided it would be better for DS in the long run (he's now at a feeder school for the secondary he will go to, which should make the transition slightly easier).
He was happy and popular at his old school, but struggled with the move, complained a lot about teasing after he first started at the new school. He did actually tell us and his teacher at the time and we thought it had calmed down, he stopped mentioning it anyway.
But we have recently discovered that a boy in his year (different class) is bullying him, frequent unkind comments when the adults are out of earshot, during break, lunch and after-school club. I emailed the school and their response has been woeful so far. Short reply saying they would investigate and get back to me, and they haven't (it's been 3 weeks). Checked website for anti-bullying policy and it barely says anything. I cracked today, sent a more strongly worded email and asked his teacher to call me which she finally did. She asked what we want her to do (!) and I suggested talking to him PRIVATELY about it. We agreed I would tell DS that I've spoken to his teacher and we've agreed she will talk to him.
So I told DS this tonight, he was very upset and angry with me, says he should never have told me anything, and that telling the teacher will make it all worse :( I now feel as if I've done the wrong thing and broken his trust.
DS says "he's used to it now" and he doesn't care. But bullying is not ok, dammit. I was bullied myself at school and it was horrific. I don't want DS to suffer in the same way but have no idea how to protect him from it. I don't want to project either. Arrrrggghhhh :(