I’m undiagnosed, although I scored highly on both the ADHD and autism self-assessment questionnaires my GP gave me. My sister is diagnosed with ADHD though, so I’ll answer for both of us because we had quite different experiences. This is all from what I can remember as well, because being nine was a very long time ago 😂
What were you like in primary school with friendship circles?
Me: I had one main friendship group of about five of us and I was quite close to them, but I was a very impulsive child. I would do or say things without thinking that would piss my friends off, and I’d end up being outcast or picked on by them for a while. It happened quite frequently, then we’d patch things up and I’d be back in the group again. I didn’t really gel with most of the other people in my class either. They seemed to think I was a bit weird or peculiar.
My sister was completely different. She was friends with everyone. She was extremely chatty, a proper social butterfly, and absolutely loved being around her friends.
How did you manage in lessons in primary school?
I was quite academic in primary school. I didn’t struggle with reading or writing, I understood the work and I was able to complete it and hand it in. The big thing that came up constantly though was daydreaming. The school complained about it regularly and would always describe me as staring off into space when I was supposed to be concentrating.
My sister struggled much more academically. She was later diagnosed with dyslexia and dyscalculia as well, so the work was genuinely difficult for her. She also just didn’t really want to sit doing it and would much rather be talking to her friends, so she got into trouble quite a lot for being disruptive in class.
How did you present if you were worried about going to school?
For me it was very up and down. Up until about the age of nine, I’d go through periods where I would cry, become really anxious and even feel nauseous about having to go to school. It could take a lot of reassurance, coaxing and basically my parents having to make me go in. Other days I’d be absolutely fine though. Around nine-ish that seemed to settle and I started going to school without the same level of anxiety.
My sister was the complete opposite. She loved going to school, mostly because she loved being with her friends. I honestly think she treated school more like a social club 😂
What was your sleep like before age nine?
Until I was about five, I needed one of my parents to sit with me until I fell asleep. I had horrific nightmares, a lot of anxiety around sleep and I was basically too scared to fall asleep unless one of my parents was there.
From about five to nine I did still have bouts where I struggled to sleep, but they didn’t usually last very long. I also tired quite easily and was usually ready for bed, so I think that probably helped.
One thing I absolutely could not do was sleep anywhere else. If I went to a sleepover or stayed at somebody else’s house, even if someone was just babysitting me overnight, I could barely sleep at all. I’d pretty much be awake the entire night.
My sister never really had any sleep issues before the age of nine.
Did you have any obsessions growing up?
I absolutely loved playing by myself, especially imaginative play. I could play alone for hours and hours and honestly preferred nobody else joining in because they wouldn’t play the game the way I wanted it played 😂
I’ve never really had one lifelong obsession though. Mine are more like obsession after obsession after obsession. I’ll become completely engrossed in something, then eventually move onto something else. I’m still exactly like that now.
My sister was very different again. She loved playing with other people and was never really into independent play. She didn’t have obvious obsessions either, but if she decided she wanted to do something, she could become extremely focused on it and really struggle to concentrate on anything else until she’d done whatever she’d set her mind to.