How do you know if you want children?
user1474627281 · 13/11/2016 22:31
Hello everyone, Ive been lurking on mumsnet for a while now but this is my first post. I'm not a mum but I really enjoy reading all the posts.
My dilemma is I'm starting to feel very confused about my feelings towards one day starting a family. I'm 26 and have never been the maternal type, I met my partner 4 years ago and he's always said he doesn't want children, it's never bothered me at all as I felt the same. About a year ago I started to question if I will regret my decision not to have children but still never had any maternal urge to have children. However these past few weeks I'm starting to feel differently, Its not like I've been around any babies or seen any cute photos to make me broody but it's more like there's something inside me giving me these warm feelings, hard to explain but it could be broodiness. Last night I had a Chinese takeaway which always makes me bloated and I found myself admiring my tummy and imagining what it would be like to be pregnant!
What I would like to know is if it is normal to be so unsure about kids at my age? I feel like I need to be proactive and make some decisions in the next year or two because firstly I have a really physical job so if I do decide I want children I need to get out of this job and choose something new since being pregnant in this job would be dangerous to the baby. Secondly and probably most importantly If i do decide I want children one day I have to have a talk with my current partner and potentially break up if it's really not what he wants! I'm also worried as he's not in a great financial position at the minute and still lives with his mum though he is trying and slowly improving his situation (very slowly) but he is a lovely man and treats the little doggy I came with like a princess.
I know I'm still in my 20's and have plenty of time for babies but life move so fast and I'm scared I will do nothing and before I know it years have past and it's too late.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated and I apologise for my rambling and poor punctuation and sentence structure but it's been a long day, I hope it all makes sense!
Givingupwine · 24/11/2016 23:22
I'm about 6yrs ahead of you & would say listen to the warm & fuzzies. I would also not assume anything of your current partner; have an open discussion about this & go from there. I wasn't lucky to find my forever fella until I was 27 & unfortunately for us the whole reproduction element is proving really hard. I get the whole changeable feelings... i was broody from about 21 but now I'm questioning if I should/want them. 26 is not too young; it could take years to get to the point of actually having one and plus biologically speaking, we can have children much much younger & should really in terms of recovery etc. It's a new phenomena starting families later so definitely plan ahead. All the best x
InTheKitchenAtParties · 24/11/2016 23:39
I was indifferent about having children. Never really got broody feelings. Then I had a surprise baby at 32. She's made my life!
Give yourself a good year or so to think about how you feel. If you're considering having children you probably do want to have them really don't you? Maybe you're just not ready yet.
And that's OK. I definitely wasn't ready at 26
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