Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

Struggling to accept DS likely ASD

6 replies

okroger · 31/07/2026 13:03

I’ve posted here before but I guess I’m just looking for further reassurance (although still realistic).

I have two older DC 9 and 10 with no ND but my third is looking very likely ASD. He’s a lovely little happy boy but I just can’t keep thinking how different our life might have been if we’d stopped at two DC, especially as the older two are a lot easier now (probabaly in that sweet spot pre teen!) in all family situations I keep thinking about how it would be easier now. It’s like an obsession comparing our lives to what could have been.

I know that sounds awful and I don’t regret having a third (he was very much planned).

I guess our lives are just looking different to what we expected. I also feel concerned it could or already is effecting our other DC.

His biggest most noticeable problem is delayed speech. He finds ways to communicate but speaks in phrases (Gestalt language professor). He’s got many of them and some are very clear but he engages in zero conversation, although he’ll day related phrases to some of what we say. He struggles with instructions unless they’re routine. He starts school in sept 2027 which I’m petrified about. I know a lot could change in a year but possibly not enough for mainstream. He’s having private speech therapy which I believe is helping. He shows no signs of potty training at all. HV said at 3 he was globally delayed.

If anyone else has been in this situation can you help me see what the future could be like? I know of course all journeys are different.

Also aware I sound a bit desperate!

OP posts:
okroger · 31/07/2026 13:03

Forgot to say he’s 3.5

OP posts:
30DegreesHighAndRising · 31/07/2026 13:18

A friend's son had global developmental delay (I think that's the phrase), he was a very floppy baby and had poor muscle tone, delayed speech etc. He's now 16 and you would not believe his history if you met him now. In his case he's also exceptional musically ( plays in national youth orchestra) and in top sets academically. Who knows what's in the future?

What does your paediatric team say?

okroger · 31/07/2026 13:52

@30DegreesHighAndRising Thank you, that’s incredible progress. So reassuring to hear. Do you know if he was eventually diagnosed with autism?

We are still awaiting a peadiatric assessment. We had an initial meeting but that was just to progress to a more in depth assessment. Our SLT believes he may be autistic and also his pre school do too.

OP posts:
30DegreesHighAndRising · 31/07/2026 13:54

Yes the boy is autistic. The whole family are autistic and high-achieving

okroger · 31/07/2026 14:19

Thanks @30DegreesHighAndRising I am now wondering whether anyone in my family is. Or me and DH!

OP posts:
okroger · 31/07/2026 18:13

Anyone else? 🙏🏻

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread