I don't like people saying my name

[ofwarren]

Anyone else have this weird issue?

When people are talking to me and they say my name, I cringe so much its painful. I really hate hearing it. It doesn't matter if they use my actual name or a nickname, I just can't stand my name being used to address me and I don't know why.

I also struggle using other people's name to address them and inwardly cringe if I have to say it. I'm okay with my kids names though.

I googled it and lots of autistic people say the same.
I wonder what it is?

Yes, I have this. Although it's different to cringe, I feel removed from the name, like it is not me (it's not really, a name is just a label bestowed by someone else)

@SilentNoMore

Yes, I have this. Although it's different to cringe, I feel removed from the name, like it is not me (it's not really, a name is just a label bestowed by someone else)

I think I feel removed from it too. I'm so bad at recognising what I feel though. All I know is that I really don't like it. It's even worse when the person keeps using it in the conversation

I think I associate it with a telling off. Tho I'm dx with adhd so I was always being told I talk too much, etc.

Yes my DH does this and I hate it. Apart from my DC's names and family I don't like using names.

I’m like this too. Had no idea it was a thing.

I struggle to say other people’s names especially nicknames. If I have to I’ll say their full name.

I suspect that I am somewhere on the spectrum. I also hate when people say my name (usually I assume it's a manipulation tactic) and I cringe calling people by their names

I feel uncomfortable with people using my name. I prefer to remain low key and anonymous.

I feel like every time someone uses a name, they’re making a connection. Sometimes, it feels uncomfortable because it feels intimate? Especially if they keep saying my name. That probably sounds strange to most people but I have some mild issues with it. No one would know though

Yes, I hate it. Used to have a therapist who liked to frequently use her client's name in session for some reason — I think maybe it's supposed to build rapport? I told her how much I hate it and (praise be) she actually stopped doing it.

Oh wow, lots of people then! I can't seem to find out why it's common in autistic people. A few of the autism forums I've been on talk about it.

@Charles11

I feel like every time someone uses a name, they’re making a connection. Sometimes, it feels uncomfortable because it feels intimate? Especially if they keep saying my name. That probably sounds strange to most people but I have some mild issues with it. No one would know though

That makes sense actually. I wonder if it's similar to why eye contact feels bad?

Maybe it's one of those things that's actually common in lots of people? I guess you'd have to do a survey with a control group.

@ClumpingBambooIsALie

Maybe it's one of those things that's actually common in lots of people? I guess you'd have to do a survey with a control group.

Yes that's a real possibility.

I mainly just like the idea of an excuse to do some sciencey stuff Could have all kinds of things on there that have been wondered about as "an autism thing".

Oh I feel the same. Always avoid using people's names if i can and when someone says mine in makes me shudder. I call my children by nicknames, I even quite like it when they use my name rather than "mum". But I never use my dh's name and I feel weird when he uses mine. I have a few odd things like this and never gave it much thought.

I am not autistic/have autism but feel exactly the same. Sometimes i find it cringey, sometimes creepy and i hate saying my own name to introduce myself. I thought it was just my own wierdness

I feel the same when saying my own name.
It sounds really strange to me.
I know some people who answer the phone by using their name - instead of saying HELLO they'll say 'Deirdre Connor...'
Everytine I hear someone on the TV or radio say their own name ('welcome to the Jeremy Vine show' or 'call the Oprah Winfrey/Graham Norton etc etc show') I think it's really odd and I would never be able to do that, so I've deliberately never got famous and had my own show.

Yep totally. Although I spend my days without ever really hearing my name so that might be why. I don’t think my husband has ever used it unless he’s talking about me.

I think it's really odd and I would never be able to do that, so I've deliberately never got famous and had my own show.

Same [serious face]

It's looking like it's a common thing for NT and ND people!
It's such a weird phenomenon, I've no idea why names feel uncomfortable 🤷‍♀️

Perhaps it comes from when we got into trouble as kids.

There’s a film I watched called Knight and Day where the male lead keeps saying the female leads name. There’s a tense situation where he says her name a few times and she says ‘please don’t say my name. You keep saying my name and it’s freaking me out’.
I remember that part so well as it struck me. I still don’t know if I understood the clip in the same way as other people would

I’m not autistic either but suspect a tad adhd. Not diagnosed but just from online stuff and talking to people.

For me it’s largely because the people saying my name are normally using the full version so it’s just a reminder that it’s all a bit socially awkward and they don’t know me that well.

I too hate saying my own name when asked, but only in person. Over the phone it's fine.

I have the same issue calling my partner (and previous partners) by their proper name, and always use nicknames if I can.