Sister Dating an Agnostic Man

[mightymam]

Salams all, quick one- just found out my sister is dating a white man who considers himself Agnostic. I’m worried. Sister has always been the most amazing of Muslims (the perfect girl) but after undergoing a horrendous divorce where her very practising husband has left no stone unturned to torture her, she’s lost all hope in Muslim men. She tried Muzz but because she’s divorced, most men on there were looking for hookups so she doesn’t feel like she’s doing anything wrong. I don’t know what to do.

Just be there for her

What worries you exactly about this situation?

So she’s been abused by a Muslim husband and seen as sexually available to other Muslim men because she’s divorced? Not surprising really she’s giving infidels a try.

Funny. Judging by the amount of threads on this messageboard from non-Muslim women complaining about being verbally, physically and sexually abused, harrassed, stalked, incested, abandoned, and asked by their non-Muslim husbands to fuck other men, etc. I can guarantee you that no sane Muslim woman is interested, in any way, in your gross men. You can keep them.

You can't control your sister, but you can try to advice her and guide her. Remind her to think about her Akhirah, not just the Dunya. She's clearly been unlucky, or maybe made some bad choices in her life, to end up with an abusive husband - who knows. But the answer isn't to jump into another ill-thought out relationship. It sounds like she needs some help to process her traumas, and to feel at peace with not being in a relationship. Marriage is not everything...it's better to be happy and safe by yourself than in bad or haram relationships. All you can do is to be there for her, and help her see that there's more to life than having a man by your side.

Mde bad choices? Can you explain how some chooses to be abused?

FYI I grew up in a Muslim country where women are targets just because they are walking on the street. Sure there are gross Western men but come on, you can’t ignore the misogyny inherent in most Islamic countries.

good for her, she deserves somebody normal