Is 3 and a half too young to start playing bass?

[ShagMeDamon1977]

ok ladies, i need some advice
recently bought wee Alex a big big big big big bass guitar for Chrimbo and he HASN'T taken to it at all
its a state of the line Gibson, i had to take out a mortgage to fund it and all he could do was hit his brother Graham with it
now that Graham's black eye's not so noticeable he's taken a shining to the instrument, ignoring the Fender Jaguar I bought him while he was in hospital
Dave still hasn't learned to speak
where am i going wrong???

If i were you I'd sell the guitar for blur tickets. Or beat the little *hit with a drumstick until he learnt a bassline

Swearing is permitted on MN.

Is this some kind of obscure Scottish comedy act?

I often advise on SENSIBLE queries re music activities for children, but I'll 'pass' on this unless you can convince me there is serious content somewhere.