Q and A with author Cathy Glass

[RachelMumsnet]

We're running a Q and A session with author Cathy Glass, who's latest book Happy Kids: The Secrets to Raising Well-Behaved, Contented Children is a practical guide to managing children's behaviour. Cathy has been a foster carer for over 20 years, fostering over 50 children as well as bringing up three of her own. Send your questions in to Cathy on this thread over the next week. Deadline for submitting questions is Thursday 11th Feb. She'll then answer your questions and we'll post them back up here as a Q and A.

OK .will start

Kathy I have a 6 yo boy who I feel is very well adjusted.However,I have a younger child who has sn.

I really hope I treat both equally,but sometimes feel that a lot of focus is on the sn child with regard to appointments and so on..I really try to ensure they have equal focus,they are both lovely children but I do not want ds to feel that dd is "more important" with all of her issues.

Your thoughts please?

Do you have any tips for helping a mildly dyspraxic teenager with their social life? As they mature more slowly than other children they can get left out by their peer group, or into situations they are not emotionally able to handle.

What are your tips for an almost 2yr old who only speaks very few words and has strange for some thing sounds instead of wordes and how to develop speech further whilst also reducing the frustration she experiences?

How do I tell if my 4 year old daughter has ADHD or is just being naughty? I have heard that children are more prone to ADHD if there is a history of dyslexia and depression in the family - is this true?

Can I just say that I have a huge admiration for anyone who fosters, I think its an amazing thing you all do.
Actually my question is more about my behaviour, ever since having kids I find myself on a fairly short fuse (as opposed to before kids). Have you any tips on being more patient and not losing it. My dds are 4 and 2 and I'm dreading dd1 starting school and having battles over reading and homework.

How do you manage differences in parenting style without telling the other person what to do?

DS1 is a fairly typical 3yo boy (pushing boundaries, loud and energetic) and DH and I frequently clash over how to deal with him. I think DH is a bit strict, DH complains that whenever I come through the door (I work outside teh door), DS1 automatically switches to 'whine' mode. I think DH pulls DH up on too much (how tidily can you eat when you are 3?), DH thinks I don't set enough boundaries. And so on! The practical solution would be to agree beforehand, but what if we genuinely don't agree? Is there room for more than one parenting style in a family?

Dh pulls DS1 up

and I work outside the home not the door!

Hello,

My DS suffered early neglect and the trauma of being seperated from his birth mother plus a very chaotic first two years due to assesment on bith mum etc. He also had to deal with the loss of our DD after a long illness that took me and her away from him a lot.

He is a lovely boy but has real issues around self esteem and is insecure. He has LDs which are not helping him because he feels 'different'

So - can you sort us out please

Hi thanks for coming for a chat.

I have one DD who recently turned 4. For the past couple of weeks she has totally changed her attitude. She outright refuses to get dressed in the morning and hits, kicks and spits at DH and myself. We are fast running out of ideas to try and get our lovely girl back
the strategies we have tried are star/reward charts, 'naughty step', taking away favourite items and short of physically forcing her clothes onto her I am out of ideas!

I expect with your experience that you may have tackled this issue a few time

any tips for a mum at the business end of her tether??

Thanks in advance

Hi Cathy
Just wanted to say I've just finished reading Happy Kids and will be following much of your advice. Thanks!

PS It makes sense to me.

Hi Cathy, I enjoyed reading your previous books and I am currently reading Happy Kids.

In Happy Kids you talk about using the sanction of reducing television time. How do you start introducing Television Time if a child is used to being able to watch television when they want to do so?

Can I just say that I have the same name as you (my maiden name is Glass) and it freaked me out to see your first book in the supermarket with my RL name on it in big letters?

My poor mother was mortified that her friends might think I'd written a misery memoir...

Seriously, I'm enjoying reading Happy Kids and I too am interested in the television time question as asked by nannynick.

Hi there, we're pleased to now give you Cathy's answers to your questions. Here's the full archived Q and A session with Cathy Glass.

I have just read your story DAMAGED !!! Its hard to believe that there are monsters out there who could do that to anyone, let alone an innocent child! I also don't feel alone feeling that our child protection employee's are inadequate! My eldest son entered a relationship with a 17 yr old girl whom was pregnant. She was kicked out of home and i took her in, looked after her, whilst pregnant & when a beautiful baby girl was born. They have lived on and off with me for the past 2 years and DHS has been involved the entire time. They are so easily bluffed, even after my GP called after the baby had been hit very hard on the hand which caused bad bruising, luckily escaping broken fingers. She was dropped on the ground from about 20cm onto the ground due to crying cos of teething. She had a split lip from being pushed and landed hitting a childs chair, all was reported to dhs, and when i try to intervene, they say i am not a blood relative, i have no rights. All i can do is have her as often as i can and try and show her what love is! I need help. I live in Australia, please help me

What rights would i have? What rights does my son have? The biological father is not known, and her family are not really in her life. I do not want to take a child from her mother, but if i can't protect her???? Who will??