Live chat with Kate Cook - author of An Unfit Mother - about reclaiming your body post birth. June 4th 1-2pm

[carriemumsnet]

On Weds June 4th from 1-2pm we'll be welcoming Kate Cook, co-author of An Unfit Mother. The book offers "inspiration, motivation and guidance on how to rebuild your body confidence and explains how it's possible to reclaim your body post birth, and lose your baby-bulge swiftly, safely and successfully."

Kate is a mother and a nutritional therapist and life coach, who has helped over 4,500 patients to take their health into their own hands so she's full of great advice.

If you can't make it on Weds, you can post advance questions here and we'll try and get them answered. We hope though that as many of you as possible will grab a (low fat) sarnie and come and join in the chat on Weds lunchtime. See you then.

MNHQ

hmmm

I'd ask if you think it's necessary to worry about losing the baby weight when struggling with a young baby, or should you just relax? From experience, worrying about weight issues when you have a colicky non-sleeping baby is the LAST thing you need.

recommendations for how to build in exercise to get back into shape/fit into post baby routine -and also how soon can you start doing this (assumign you've got medical all clear post birth)

I live in France, where obstetricians routinely enforce recommend a maximum weight gain of 9kg in pregnancy - less if a women is overweight before pregnancy begins. This is to ensure that a woman regains her pre-pregnancy figure as quickly as possible and avoids stretchmarks, undue strain on her pelvic floor etc.

I gave birth in England where the midwives seemed deeply unconcerned about my weight gain. I did, indeed, gain 18kg during my pregnancy, but lost it all within 6 months of giving birth (and was thinner still after a further few months of breastfeeding).

Although my body didn't suffer unduly from pregnancy, I do wonder whether my skin on my tummy would be less crepey today had I not gained so much weight. And when I read on MN about stretchmarks, really wobbly skin, severe pelvic floor problems etc, and also read that some women gain 20-25 kg during pregnancy, I wonder which advice to believe - the English or the French?

anna8888- that is really interesting as currently struggling with the weight gain advice.

I was 2 stone over weight when I got pregnant - I blame my long work hours and large glasses of wine! I had an emergency c-section in March and my little man was tongue tied so I couldn't breast feed him (a traumatic experience but once it was diagnosed I was exhausted and he needed food so we went on to the bottle). I'm really dissapointed because I'd hoped that breastfeeding would help me get some shape back. I'm now 3 stone heavier than I should be and I have a hidious overhang and I feel so unsexy that it is getting in the way of my relationship with my husband. I eat fairly sensibly and I know it's supposed to be a simple case of calories in versus calories burned so I have up'd my expercise but nothings happening - HELP?

5 years down the line and I have still not lost the baby weight. I really want to start living a healthy life but my normal life keeps on getting in the way, I have little time to exercise and I'm just living on soups, salads, cheese on toast and takeaways!. Any tips?

I'd like to know what are her qualifications for exercise recommendation!?

not sure re exercise hatcam but does seem to have some experience as nutrition/life coach

link

Thank you v. much, I think I asked that question a bit churlishly sorry (bad day) but I'm totally evangelical that exercise plays a vital part in body confidence, strength and good health - afer all the human body is built to move, not be sedentary. How does she build advice on fitness and exercise into her guidance without qualifications in this area? Or does she feel that activity is entirely secondary to nutrition?

And I mean that as an honest, straightforward question - sometimes when you write these things down it sounds like you're being difficult, which I'm not. Am genuinely interestd.

didn't think it was churlish... actually thought was a good question and wondered why hadn't thought to ask myself.

Interesting - I would like to know what are her recommendations on the dreaded numb belly overhang after a crash cesarean.

I only put on a stone and a half with pregnancy but have this huge numb belly. I do a lot of pelvic floor exercises so my pelvic floor is fine. Still am a stone overweight after 9 months b/f.

And what about exercising when the abdominal muscles have separated (diastis)? Mine had separated for two years pp.

Also - is there any point in buying a post natal corset four years after the birth and two sizes up from pre preg weight? My waist is 30 inches when it used to be 26 inches? Pregnancy waist was 45 inches.

i'd like to know why its necessary to lose your 'baby bulge' in order to have body confidence?after 5 children and years of extreme rapid weight gain/loss due to hormonal contraception,depression and stress i will never have a flat tummy without surgery and quite frankly im sick of worrying because i dont look how i'm supposed to.

Anna - I'm in Belgium and I refuse to be weighed during this pregnancy. My midwife and doctor know me better then to try and make me!

It's my experience that the women who do put on 20 -25 kgs are the ones who have a lot of fluid retention and the ones who start off very thin.

As for stretchmarks - I have stretchmarks from growth spurts during puberty - despite never being overweight - stretchmarks from engorgement from breasfeeding, and stretchmarks that appeared in the last two weeks of my first pregnancy. I obviously have skin that is prone to stretchmarks.

And agree with divastrop - it's not necessary to lose your baby bulge to have body confidence. I've learnt that dieting and stressing about my figure lead me to me more unhealthy and stressed.

I don't like the phrase 'reclaiming your body' much. It sounds so liberating, like 'reclaiming the streets', kind of faux-feminist when actually it isn't. No-one has taken it away from you, no-one has forced you to do anything, it was your choice. Get fit and slim if you wish but don't make it sound like something it isn't.

Anna: I put on about 2.5 stone (about 18 kilos?) with DS and no stretchmarks at all. I guess most of it is due to skin type and genetics rather than weight. At the beginning of this pg I weigh exactly the same as before DS, so it will be interesting to see what happens this time (reviews diet of potatoes and savoury snacks)

Zazen - although this author sounds really well qualified in her area, you should get proper advice if you think you have diastasis recti (separation of abdominals). It's easy to self check if you want to see how much/if it's healed.

Happy to advise if not sure.

hatcam -someone asking for you over on pregnancy re exercise query.

I must admit I REALLY consciously ate according to what I felt I NEEDED during broth pregnancies but went from 8 stone to 12 stone. It was awful with morning sickness because if I stopped eating then I kept being sick, so I just had to eat and eat to avoid vomiting. Argh. Have had massive problems with ligament and spinal damage ever since. (In fact I have just come back from another bloody appointment for my buggered sacro-illiac joints at the ortho department!)

ANYHOO

I read this book and I liked it, although I agree with the early posters who said that I think it's VERY unhelpful for new mums to worry about this sort of thing. Their job is to feed the baby and rest and that should be ALL they are worried about. I spent the first few weeks of my newborn-baby stage having DH bring me belgian buns and bacon butties and if I'd read this book I would have felt very bad about that. Women have enough self-hatred about their bodies post-birth and frankly it's only really luck and time that will heal that - talking about taking wholegrains into the labour ward is frankly mean IMO. New mothers should NOT be thinking baout such things and definitely shouldn't be WORRYING about them. Worry about your nips, not your hips.

HOWEVER apart from that I did like the book - I thought it was full of common sense advice and sensible food advice - the sort of thing that Cod and Moondog might have cobbled together. The pages were nice and SHINY and the illustrations were fab.

One criticism is that the 'regaining your sanity' part was right at the end and I strongly think it should START the book.

My only question: Did the two authors "regain" their bodies with or without childcare?

I have been eating lots of forrin bread since I read this book

Rye bread all over the place

My bowels are REGULAR

yes, mental health far more important in the early weeks (months, years)

Hi Kate
I'm delighted to be back at my pre-ds weight only 9 weeks after his birth. [grin[However, I can't be too smug as my pre-ds weight was still a good bit over what it should be (my BMI is 26).

I'm breastfeeding so am constantly starving and it's SO easy to grab a custard cream (or three ) than an apple.

He's not really in a routine yet so I'm never sure how long he's going to sleep for during the day so how can I fit exercise in?

Help!

yawn....

think too many woman about returning to pre baby weight imo

MN this is crap

I lost all the weight within 2 weeks of giving birth.
Now 3 weeks on, I've regained 2kg.

I am absolutely ravenous all the time. How do you keep weight in check while breastfeeding????????????????

It was the same with my first pregnancy.
I do understand that lack of sleep=energy slump=craving and indulging in carbs.

Any advice here most welcome.

And yes of course, how, with the best intentions in the world do you fit in exercise routine between feeds on demand and quality time with other DC (not to mention husband)??

quailtiy time with dh can be part of the excercise regime,surely?

all 3 minutes of it?