To be annoyed that no one has ever told me I look like an actual sea monster in real life?

[MaudBaileysGreenTurban]

I have just watched myself on a recorded Teams meeting.

Sweet fucking Jesus.

My face is basically a blancmange in a plastic bag with two googly Mr Potato Head eyes stuck on wonky. One is half-shut all the time.

When I talk, my mouth sort of does a collapsy thing.

Where is my chin? WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY CHIN?

I can't believe I've actually been walking around, conversing with people, looking like this. For years.

Why did no one tell me I looked like this????

Hi folks,

We've had a fair few classics nominations for this one, so we're moving it over now!

Awww, am so chuffed my horrible blancmange face has made MN Classics

I’m not very tall, have chubbed up a bit on lockdown and gave my short hair a slightly ill advised corona-trim at the weekend. I now look just like Kim Jong-un. When I put on my slightly severe glasses for a zoom call, the likeness was uncanny.

When I am concentrating hard in a meeting I unfortunately adopt the facial expression of the keyboard player in Sparks

You win 😂

And well done @MaudBaileysGreenTurban, great thread

I look like a miserable potato. I sympathise, OP.

my DD facetimes me occasionally, i can’t bear it.

there’s a big, sallow moon where my face used to be. my face and neck have become one, like a fat Beaker from the Muppet Show. and my voice! i sound like Brian Blessed’s telephone voice.

fuck that noise. very glad i don’t have a job that requires zoom.

I don't have a webcam so have just been using audio...however DH has now been furloughed and offered me the webcam from the computer he was using. I turned him down not so much for the extensive roots, lockdown can't-be-arsed fluffy hair and wrinkles (the other 2 women in the team are in their twenties, not old bags in their 50s like me).

I turned him down because my face always shows exactly what I think, and as well as gazing out of the window during zoom calls I have a tendency to roll my eyes and raise my eyebrows, especially when the boss is talking, oops!

I too am looking remarkably like my mother.

Or my 3 year old.

I used to look like Sienna when she was 'courting' Jude

Why did no one tell me I looked like this?

After being told off for commenting to someone their twin babies were very ugly I've substantially toned down my honesty.

Have I been mislead? Would it actually be helpful if I explained to some of my friends what's wrong with them physically?

I’m not very tall, have chubbed up a bit on lockdown and gave my short hair a slightly ill advised corona-trim at the weekend. I now look just like Kim Jong-un

^

Sorry

I look like Ang-Ella Merkel tho

I would love to know how someone else's teeth leap into my mouth when I'm on Facetime.
I had a Facetime chat with my mates the other day and they were all slightly blurry, and I saw me, and then there were my teeth in terrifyingly techno-vision looking like they were about to leap out of the screen and eat people

I am my dad in a dress. He's an elderly alcoholic. My missing side tooth gives me the look of an 18th century harlot, without the glamour.

I actually have someone else’s neck ....a 90 year olds. And even though l don’t smoke I have the lines on my mouth of someone who puffs away on 40 a day ....and what about the colour of my teeth ! 😬 l actually can’t concentrate on what anyone is saying ...so busy hating myself .

@DuesToTheDirt I have that problem too. Annoying team member was off for 2 weeks but now he's back our daily team meetings have gone from 20 mins to almost an hour. This morning I rolled my eyes so often I thought I might pull something.

I also forgot that people can still me if I mute, I was happily helping DD with her maths when I suddenly realised everyone had stopped talking.

I look like my Grandma on FaceTime. She's 97 😩

My hair is frizzy, my roots are awful, my skin is simultaneously dry, wrinkly and spotty and I move my mouth strangely when I talk

People don't need to worry about the economy, I'm singlehandedly going to prop it up with the amount I'm going to have to spend on beauty treatments after lockdown

I actually think I look like a truck driver in drag. All big arms, huge jaw and this unlikely hairstyle, that looks like a wig from a shop called something like EttieBetty that sells supplies to men who want to 'dress female' at weekends.

Thank you all, I've had such a down day today and this thread has cheered me up so much.

And who knew my face was so ... expressive? It turns out I’m pulling weird faces all day - like the totally krazee face Caitlin Moran pulls in all her byline photos. Even when I’m talking about something quite serious or boring. Just stop it you weird fake fun loon.

I tried to join in with the morning video call meeting but even after half an hour of hair and make up I still looked absolutely shocking and rather than listening to what was being said would spend the entire meeting staring at myself at the side of the screen thinking..why does my face not match?....has my skin always been that bad it’s horrific!
I fixed the problem by taping over my webcam with electrical tape and claiming it no longer works
And I would love to think the fact I look so shocking is caused by the camera and everyone’s the same but then I remember going to get my passport photo done a couple of years ago and try as she might the photographer could not get a photograph where my mouth wasn’t drooping at one side to the point where after I dismissed the 5th photograph as horrific she gently asked me if I’d ever had a stroke! I swear until that day I considered myself relatively attractive

@lastqueenofscotland we're twins! I'd heard that everyone has doppelgänger. You are clearly mine! Or am I yours? Hi!

I took my glasses off today. It didn’t help (hence looking like a thumb) but I couldn’t see how bad it really was, so I could at least hear what was being said.

I Skype rang my father comes the early days of covid, he's trapped abroad. You have the option to recieve the call as voice or video. When he accepted the call all i heard was "oh no, oh no, oh no!". I got scared and asked what was wrong (i had the phone to my ear). He said he'd accidentally hit video but he didn't have his teeth in!!!!!

Haha, this is amusing me no end. I've also discovered how tiny my eyes are and how obvious my little moustache is. I look like one of the Mario Brothers.

I spend an insane number of hours in full Hazmat these days. I FaceTimed my DD the other day and she winced: oh mummy, that looks awful, how many hours were you in full gear for?
Actually, my precious first and only born, not a single minute this morning, it’s just mummy’s face these days....

This is hilarious, its like having the old MN back, no eating crisps on benches just a good laugh