How do you adjust to life as a lone parent?

[sittingonacornflake]

So I'm a bit of an emotional wreck and relying quite heavily on my MN crutch at the moment.

DP is moving out this weekend so I will be a lone parent to our baby. I'm a FTM and although I had thought I'd be doing quite well the reality is I'm hugely anxious since having had our baby and I'm so so so so scared of being the only adult in the house and having sole responsibility for him.

Any tips on how to adjust to life from being in a relationship to suddenly being a lone parent?

How do you cope with the evenings when baby has gone to bed? I'm so scared about how lonely I'll be.

What do you do over night if baby becomes unwell or you're unsure of anything?

How do you find happiness again?

@sittingonacornflake @unexpectednewstart

Forgot to add you in :)

@Lorddenning1 eeeeeeee!!!!!!!

Oh my goodness this is AMAZING news!!!!

Sending the biggest congratulations.

Have you set a date yet?

And how's your new home?

I'm so glad you posted. I've been meaning to check in but just haven't been able to find this thread. How do you find it?

All good here thank you. DS starts school in September I can't believe it. Time is going so so fast it's crazy!

Work is going well. My professional qualification is due imminently so I'm likely to be changing roles, if I find something decent, in the not so distant future. Not in a hurry though as my current role is very flexible and also very good so I'm getting good experienced even though I'm practising unqualified at the moment.

All being well with covid we go on holiday next month, just back to Butlins but we did love our holiday there in September so can't wait to return.

Thank you so much :)
not set a date yet, need to book with the vicar and pick a venue first, im thinking some time next year if we can afford it. its not bad for how we first started off isnt it.
we love our new home, so much more space for us, but lots more space to clean. we are going to start on the garden soon and then it will be complete, cant wait to spend a summer in the garden with grass :) first thing on my list is a sun lounger :).
I cannot believe your little one is starting school this year, in my mind he is still a little baby :) they grow up so quick dont they. we are not having anymore, i think the 3 of them between us is enough. is his dad still around or is he busy with the other baby, he is such a waste of space.
My ex is waiting on his big pay out and then he said he is going to buy a house and car and help me with the kids more, i believe it when i see it. but to be fair he does have them every weekend and over christmas he had them for a around 5 days, so all is good for now.

when you say we, do you mean you and your son or does that include somebody else :)

@Lorddenning1 I am so, so happy for you. It's absolutely incredible to think how far you've come from the earlier posts on this thread. I keep meaning to go back to the start and re-read our posts actually.

Sun lounger on grass, maybe a little glass of wine in hand, sounds utter bliss. Hopefully we get better weather this year and you will have plenty of opportunities to enjoy your garden.

DS' dad is still completely fecking useless and doesn't see him at all. Tosser!

And when I say we I mean us and my parents. I am very firmly single right now but actually very content and happy about that. Enjoying these early years with DS and just spending time with friends and family with absolutely zero drama. It's very freeing, actually. Just 1 child and no partner life is pretty laid back (as much as a pandemic allows it to be that is!)

Hello ladies,
I just came across the notification in my inbox about your posts. So sorry that I didn't reply to the January ones or those last summer.
Lots of changes here, my kids father finally went to prison a year ago and will serve a substantial sentence. He took me to court to try and make me supervise telephone contact for the kids with him, but luckily the court supported me and I just have to help them send letters.
The guy I had been seeing for a couple of years moved in last summer and it all went wrong. He came off his anti depressants without telling me and was so difficult to live with that I had to ask him to leave.
And that all sounds crap, but actually life is amazing now! My ptsd has finally lifted, I feel so much stronger and confident that I can cope on my own. And although I feel guilty for the disruption to the kids of him moving in and out again, my oldest was very clear that it was the right decision and has been much happier since he left. I'm dabbling a little in online dating but am mainly concentrating on enjoying life and socialising with friends (outside obviously looking after the kids and work.) I honestly haven't felt like this for five years.

@Lorddenning1 Congratulations on the house and engagement! Amazing that a FWB turned out to be a great long term partner for you.

@sittingonacornflake good luck with the final stages of your professional qualification. You should be very proud of yourself for achieving that in amongst all the other challenges of life.

@unexpectednewstart goodness me, you have been through the mill haven't you.

The strength you've shown in knowing it wasn't right with guy and moving him back out instead of carrying in is admirable. And wow your PTSD has lifted!

I think you're going to have an amazing year.

Thank you for your kind comments. I'm very anxiously waiting for my professional qualification to come through, especially as I'm in the process of applying for a significant promotion and I need my qualification to get it, eek!

Quite a while ago as a mere male, I found myself a single parent with a 10 month old daughter (I was traded in for a newer model ;-). It was certainly a strain at first, but luckily I had the support of my ex’s parents and my mum and plenty of other friends. It takes some considerable time to adjust to the new reality and I had plenty of long, long solitary evenings, but just believe that you can survive and better than that at the end of this you will have an inseparable bond with your son. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

@Lorddenning1 @unexpectednewstart how are you both? I can't believe how long it has been since we last checked in here.

My professional qualification came in in early spring and I secured the promotion so very happy with that. It's completely transformed our lives financially and I still can't quite get my head around it! Mind you, with the cost of living increase it's not quite how it would have been a year or two ago but there we go.

Little one has started school. School! How mad is that. I feels like just a year or two ago I had a little toddler and now I'm sharing my home with a full on child. Although still in my bed all the time

Hello @sittingonacornflake aw well done for getting your qualifications, so proud how far you have come and well done for your promotion, I hope you have celebrated
That's mad that your little one is now at school, seems like yesterday he was a small baby, look how far you both have come.
I am happy I have a new job, house is done along with the garden, so we have a lovely house for us all to grow in. We have booked our wedding for July next year and everything is sorted for that, currently dieting to fit into my dress. It's mad to say this as he was my FWB when we started out, how things change haha.
Boys are doing good too, eldest is in high school now and youngest is in year 1, he has an assessment booked for January for potential ADHD, so that has been tough but my other half supports us all and has really stepped up for us all, he is such a good partner and is literally my OH. ex sees the children twice a week now which is good and he has a new job so is happy in life also. Wish I had more things to say really x

Doh, name change fail!

Hello again nice to see your name pop up, how are you

@Lorddenning1 so good thank you! How are you? I want to hear all about your wedding!!

The wedding was great, exactly what we wanted, we got married in my family church, where my babies were christened etc and then after we went to our local cricket club and had a nice meal and then we partied. We got a singer and it made the night really, everyone was up dancing at 8pm which is a good sign that it's a great party. We wanted local, down to earth wedding and then a good knees up which is exactly what we got, people said it's the best wedding they have been too, but I'm sure they all say that. We celebrate our 1 year anniversary next month
We also welcomed our baby boy in march this year he is nearly 3 months old now and I forgot what having a newborn was like, I have a teenager and a new born at the minute, oh well, he is the cherry on top for us. He was 6 weeks early so spent some time in neonatal but he is doing really well, just in the dinky side. so we have 4 kids all together now, we live in a mad house.

We unfortunately lost my mother in law last month but we are thankful she got to meet her first grandson. My dad is also undergoing chemo after it was discovered he had bowl cancer, luckily they caught the tumour in time and he has to do 6 months of chemo as a precaution, but yeah that's all of what's been going on with myself and my family at the minute, we have done a lot I know haha

How are you, what have you been up to x

@sittingonacornflake

Gosh your wedding sounds absolutely perfect. 1 year anniversary already - how is this possible?! I'm sure we say this every time we catch up!! Congratulations though and a new baby!! Eeeeeee!! That's such lovely news. You must be on cloud nine! And four does indeed sound like a mad house. You mustn't know whether you're coming or going!

Sorry to hear about your MIL and your dad's diagnosis. I hope he's finding the treatment ok. Glad it was caught early.

From my end.... goodness.... very little to report in comparison! My grandad has sadly been diagnosed with dementia which is very sad.

DS is coming up to the end of year one and he's really thrown himself into lots of different clubs and activities which is nice to see.

We did a lovely big holiday to Mexico this year which was out of this world and I actually cried when it was time to come home!

Work wise, I've had a promotion which I must confess I was very proud of myself for getting! Cheesey huh.

But otherwise, nothing to report on the love life front as that is non existent, exactly as I want it to be right now so all good there. DS dad still doesn't bother whatsoever, coming up four years now since he last saw him. I drove past him waiting for a bus the other week and I still get this full body feeling of utter fear when I see him, even after all this time.

@Lorddenning1

TBH, I think single parenting is an awful lot more fun.

Go do fun stuff. Disney, legoland - have a ball

It absolutely is, as I've found out over the years

@sittingonacornflake this could have been written by me. It’s just happened to me. Are you happy now? Did it get easier? I don’t know how I’m going to cope I’m so so sad and scared